The Chit Chat Chit Chat Thread

French Quarter

Well-Known Member
Apparently, the new coywolves are flourishing. Definitely one you don't want to meet. A cross between a wolf and a coyote.

coywolf.jpg

I certainly don't want to come across one but they sure are beautiful looking.
 

Figgy1

Well-Known Member
I finally finished going through the candy bag. My little guy's weighed in at 25 pounds:eek: I have it sorted into several bags 1 for my dh and older ds as they have no allergies, one for my little guy, one for his friend whose mother was nice enough to drive them around (I had to make sure nothing in it was on her allergy list). one for the food pantry (nothing with Halloween stuff on the packaging) and a local dentist gives some money for candy turned in, I'm donating that to the food pantry. My ds got lots of raisins and sunflower seeds this year and one Mickey rice crispy treat:joyfull: Somebody must have had lots of left over snack credits LOL
 

French Quarter

Well-Known Member
I never liked the valentine card thing is school. My experience, was that some kids only got 1 or 2, and the "popular" kids, got lots! I always felt sad for those who didn't get many. I gave out cards to everyone, not just special friends. I agree , Valentine's Day, is just another spend money celebration. Hubby and I haven't done Christmas Cards and Valentine's cards for years. They are expensive, and a total waste of money. We take what we would have spent and went out to eat. The day before, or after as we don't do large crowds!

I dunno. I can see where everyone is coming from (as with everything else, V-day has been highly commercialized) but I like any excuse to celebrate! Yes, we love each other every day and try hard to show it but it's nice to have nights set aside for just the two of us, especially with three small children. And Valentine's Day is a great excuse to spend that time together. I don't have any real expectations for what it has to be but we typically do go out for a meal and buy each other a card. And I do feel special.

I typically also buy the kids a very inexpensive little gift...usually from the dollar store...and they get a kick out of it. But probably because we don't buy them things other than for special occasions.

And they give out little cards to their classmates, which they find really fun. But they always give one to everyone and seem to get one from everyone.
 

French Quarter

Well-Known Member
I hated it in high school...I wasn't allowed to date, but even if I had been, no one was lining up to date me, and it was just a miserable day.

In high school, my best friend and I started a tradition of going out to a cheap restaurant together on Valentine's Day with whoever else wanted to come and it continued on for years. And it didn't matter if we were dating someone at the time, we kept doing it. (They could come along too, if they wanted.) I loved it. Years after we had gone our separate ways, we happened to be living in the same city this one year during February 11 and guess what we did? Found that same restaurant there and took each other out for V-Day.
 

French Quarter

Well-Known Member
Seriously? PARENTS trick or treating? That sounds...wow...there are no words. I could understand a parent bringing an extra bag if one kid was sick or something and couldn't come, that they would explain it and ask if they could have a treat for said sick child, but to be a grown person begging for candy? That's kind of rude.

I know, right?! But even if one of the kid's was sick, I would just go out and buy them a bunch of candy myself.
 

French Quarter

Well-Known Member
I'm trying to take care of myself, but my husband creates a lot of unnecessary stress, so it's been a constant battle to not let things get to me as much. Plus, the times I've taken for myself he's accused me of not taking care of our daughter, and that's the reason why I shouldn't have joint custody. :mad:

@catmom46 my dear. You do the things that you think are right and healthy and don't worry about the rest. The justice system is there to see beyond bullying and emotion. If you remain calm and honest, everything will work out fine. I truly believe that...although I know it's hard to believe sometimes in the heat of it all.
 

French Quarter

Well-Known Member
Yeah, I think it's harder for you because you still live in the same house. But your daughter's old enough that she doesn't need to be watched every second, right? If I remember correctly, she's a bit older than my DD, and mine is quite responsible an able to fend for herself while I take a shower, or cook dinner, or whatever. Even DS doesn't need me ALL the time and he's only 7...well....he'll be 8 in a month, but still. Kids don't need to be entertained 24/7 and they need to learn to be independent, too...is your ex a "helicopter parent"?

That's the other thing...you will feel a million times better when he moves out or you move out. Then you can distance yourself from the stress.
 

Songbird76

Well-Known Member
I'm actually not that angry about the marriage so much because I know I tried my best to be the person he wanted me to be, but he literally could not demonstrate his love for me the way I needed. Have you heard of Love Languages? Basically, each person has a primary love language that must be demonstrated in order to feel loved. We obviously have very different languages, but while I made the effort to do what he needed, he never did it for me. He kept saying since his love language was this, that's all that mattered (again similar to your ex). And the reason why I know it's not just me is because he has had this problem with every single person in his life. So, while I know my anger will eventually fade, my perspective of him will most likely not change unless he does, which is not likely.
How does your daughter handle that? I've heard of love languages but I don't know much about it...it makes sense though. My dad grew up in a time when children were expected to be silent and he grew up working for his dad. He had a really poor example of expressing emotions/love, so he's really not good at that, and as a kid, I thought he must not love me because he didn't really know how to express it. Now that I live on another continent THOUSANDS of miles away and with an ocean between us, we have a MUCH better relationship. My dad's only way to express love was to give me things that he would have liked to receive...like...when I was 8, instead of the Rainbow Bright doll I asked for, he got me leather work gloves. In his mind, he was getting something really nice...something HE would have really loved to get as a gift. But to an 8 year old girl, it said "I don't know what you want and can't be bothered to find out, so here you go...now you can help me fix fences." And when I was 16, he got me an ironing board chair (it's a wooden chair that you can flip the back up to turn it into an ironing board, and if you flip the back over all the way, it becomes a step ladder). Now, it's a very handy thing to have, but he got it for me "so I could attend to my domestic responsibilities." Now that I'm older, I can meet him where he is, and ignore the misogyny and recognize that he MEANT well, just didn't express it well. But your daughter is still young..is he better at speaking her love language? It's so hard when you're young and you don't understand the gestures for what they are.
 

betty rose

Well-Known Member
I always gave out valentines cards to everyone...same thing...I felt bad for the kids who didn't get many. The few that some kids got were from the kids that gave them to everyone...usually me. (and my best friends) Since I moved here, I've made Christmas cards because that's a very big thing over here...making cards. But it's too expensive to send cards overseas to everyone, so I usually send an email Christmas card, and just send real cards to people without email, but I've forgotten every year for the last few until it was too late. Now I have a whole supply of handmade Christmas cards, so DD and I are going to sell them at the school's Christmas market. In the past, the Christmas activity has been dinner for the kids...they dress up, parents are asked to make something and bring it to the school to share with their class. But the parents always complain that they have to do the work, but don't get to enjoy any of it as it's strictly a drop your kid off with the food and then pick them up later. So this year, they've decided to do a market and ask parents or community members to donate things to sell and the money will be used to buy a play station for the children's wing of the hospital for the kids who are bed-ridden, and the rest will go towards new playground equipment at the new location whenever that gets built. (which I'm hoping will be a few years yet so my kids never have to go there.) So DD and I are going to sell our crafts.
I painted individual cards one year and had a ton of fun doing that!
 

Songbird76

Well-Known Member
Yep rude and the kinda people you wouldn't wanta say no too, so not worth it but I did adjust. Yesterday I had one family with 3 kids, one an infant (costumed) and the Mom had a bag for that kid too. When I closed the door my DD said to me that bag is the parents bag, she a 20 something saw right through them too.
Ha! Next year get a supply of baby food and veggies to put in the "parents'" bag. "Here....for the children, a nice chocolate bar, and for mommy and daddy, some celery sticks, and for baby: strained peas!!" It would be fun to see the looks on their faces. They couldn't say you didn't give them anything!
 

Songbird76

Well-Known Member
Playground equipment is expensive. Our largest playground would have been about equal to a 3 bedroom house.

Color me curious, why don't you want the kids to go off to a newly built school?
Well, for one, the new building is not in our neighborhood. We won't have a school in our neighborhood at all, except for the special ed school. So I'll have to take the kids by bike to the new school and as it is, it's on a very busy street and there's no crosswalk or light...not safe. And DS has motor skills issues and can't ride a bike well and is not allowed on the busy streets (physical therapists instructions/rule,) so getting them to school is going to be a REAL hassle. 2nd, the new building will merge a couple of schools, making class sizes much larger, and the children who go to the other school are from an area where kids are...not very well behaved. There is a LOT of swearing, bullying, etc and it's bad enough at the school my kids go to now. When they merge the two, it's going to get worse.
 

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