The Chit Chat Chit Chat Thread

MySmallWorldof4

MySmallWorldof4

Well-Known Member
21stamps said:
I’m not sure if I’ve said this about our school’s winter soccer team, we’re playing up a year this season because we have two boys with an older birth year, you’re allowed to play up in age, but not down. These two kids are good friends with T and a few others, so I wanted to make sure to include them this winter. Some of the kids on my team have never played soccer before, a few others play for the school, and then my son and 2 more also play select.

Our first 3 games went great, we won each of them. .
The past 3, including today, have been rough.

Today, we were losing 6-0 in the first half. Some boys started yelling at each other when one made a mistake, and my son was the worst of all.. I saw him yell at two different teammates on the field, and then their goal keeper.

I pulled him out of the game for the last 8 minutes of the first half, and he remained on the bench for the entire second half. He cried the entire ride home.
T has scored 9 of our 11 goals this season, we were shut out today, our goal differential is probably insurmountable now, and keeping him out probably had a hand in that.
I don’t care.


Right now as I’m typing this, he is writing a paper on what sportsmanship is, why it’s important, and what he feels like when someone yells at him.

I’m so disappointed in him. :(

He’s grounded from electronics, including tv, and he understands why and luckily didn’t try to argue it.
I love sports, I love winning, but I can’t stand to see bad sportsmanship. I will pull my kid out of sports, all sports, if I see him act like that again.
Someone pass the parenting handbook, please!
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You did the right thing. Kudos to you. I am sure he learned his lesson. Like with dd's competition this weekend. They were just about perfect on Saturday, but yesterday there were to small falls in small stunt groups. The girls who fell came out crying, but we made it a point to tell them that we are only human and mistakes happen. It is a team sport. You win and lose as a team and you should be there for your teammates regardless of outcome. The coach is there to give the corrections after the game or competition. The kids should not be berating each other. That doesn't build a team.
 
MySmallWorldof4

MySmallWorldof4

Well-Known Member
MySmallWorldof4

MySmallWorldof4

Well-Known Member
21stamps said:
Thanks. It was really bad. He threw his arms up and walked up to the goalkeeper and yelled at him. Right before that, after the goal before, he had yelled at another kid for being out of position, and another one for not passing..I had reprimanded him for that one already. I didn’t think he would do it again.

Here was a text from my mom when the goalie incident happened-
View attachment 333814


It was the first game that she had been to. Drove all the way there and then left, she said she didn’t even want to be sitting by the other parents and grandparents. I don’t blame her.
I also emailed the team and apologized for his behavior, and also asked everyone to talk to their kids about supporting their teammates. T wasn’t the only one today, he was just the most emphatic.

I’ve never seen him act like that before. Sure I’ve seen him disappointed or a little mad during a game, but he was acting like an outright brat today. That’s not what sports are about, and that is NOT how I’m raising him. I won’t accept it from my son, and I won’t accept it from any kids on my team.
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I am guessing that from his crying on the way home, and knowing his grandmother left, he most likely knew what he did wrong by the time he got to your car. He was probably embarrassed by his behavior.
On a completely different and irrelevant note, did you really have over 70 text messages that needed to be read?:eek:
 
MySmallWorldof4

MySmallWorldof4

Well-Known Member
MouseDreaming

MouseDreaming

Well-Known Member
MySmallWorldof4 said:
No idea why the pictures posted that many times. Dd’s team went. They got a 93.5. They had one deduction. Apparently one move they did in a stunt was illegal. The flyers touch their feet in a pike up to the top of their heads. So now they will get lifted in a tuck. @MouseDreaming knows what I am talking about. Here is a picture of the illegal move. Must be a new rule. Coach didn’t know.
View attachment 333386
My dd is the one up in the left group.
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Gotta love those deductions. Sounds like it was an easy fix.
 
21stamps

21stamps

Well-Known Member
MinnieM123 said:
He's human. Not perfect. Wish I had a nickel for every stupid thing I've done in my life. What's important here is that he'll learn from his mistake, just the same as the rest of us. I don't think that you have anything to worry about with him at all. You've got a really good kid there.
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Thank you.
MySmallWorldof4 said:
You did the right thing. Kudos to you. I am sure he learned his lesson. Like with dd's competition this weekend. They were just about perfect on Saturday, but yesterday there were to small falls in small stunt groups. The girls who fell came out crying, but we made it a point to tell them that we are only human and mistakes happen. It is a team sport. You win and lose as a team and you should be there for your teammates regardless of outcome. The coach is there to give the corrections after the game or competition. The kids should not be berating each other. That doesn't build a team.
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I’m sorry to hear about the competition. I’m sure that’s tough on all of them, especially the girls that fell. Sounds like you parents offered great support!

MySmallWorldof4 said:
I am guessing that from his crying on the way home, and knowing his grandmother left, he most likely knew what he did wrong by the time he got to your car. He was probably embarrassed by his behavior.
On a completely different and irrelevant note, did you really have over 70 text messages that needed to be read?:eek:
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Ha ha. Yes, but they’re not really unread.. I just don’t click on it if the whole text shows in the preview.lol

MySmallWorldof4 said:
Nice job, and what an interesting assignment.
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It really was an interesting assignment. T had 2 ideas for a gift,
His geodes so Dipper could sell the crystals and give money to his family so he could spend more time on music..
I said “Hmm, good idea but then you’re making him do more work.”
“Oh, yeah. He wouldn’t have time to sell them.”

Then he said- “Do we have a picture of President Obama?”
I laughed, “Um, no T, why?”
Then he went on to explain.
 
Goofyernmost

Goofyernmost

Well-Known Member
MinnieM123 said:
He's human. Not perfect. Wish I had a nickel for every stupid thing I've done in my life. What's important here is that he'll learn from his mistake, just the same as the rest of us. I don't think that you have anything to worry about with him at all. You've got a really good kid there.
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Also a huge factor in his behavior is connected by a large string to his degree of competitiveness. From everything that @21stamps has said, he is a very focused and competitive young man. My observations are that when dealing with a competitive situation, emotions are taken over by that single focus on winning and not making any mistakes. That part of the mind overrides the part that says to hold back and not express ones upset and it manifest itself in the form of anger directed toward others that are making mistakes. It becomes a real priority to correct whatever problem that a person feels is in the way of achieving the goal. I don't think that it is even close to being a conscience reaction, it is just one the spills out without warning.

That is not to say that what was done in this case, was not the proper way address that slip in decorum, because just like anything else in life the brain sometimes needs to be programmed to be aware that sometimes our actions are counterproductive and not in anyway helpful in achieving long range goals. I think that the actions that 21stamps has taken are a very, very positive way to get that reprogramming done successfully.

I have a SIL that is so wrapped up in every sport you care to mention that as a sideliner cannot help, but, yell and scream his disapproval of a call made or an action done during the game. I cannot tell you how many places he has been forced to leave because of it. He is a very smart man and in all other aspects he is level headed, good humored and very likable. However, when it comes to sports his Jekyll and Hyde personality springs forth. He has mellowed out a lot after his son was being taken out of games because of the actions of his father, but, if you sat in the room with him when a sporting event was on TV, you would practically go deaf because of his antics while just watching a game. A game where he has no connection with any of the players, has never met them and doesn't know anything about them except they play football, baseball or whatever, be it college or professional.
 

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