The Chit Chat Chit Chat Thread

[21stamps]

I was thinking the same thing! What happened to preparing our kids for LIFE? If you're upset because a certain person doesn't think of you as their best friend, what are you going to do when the girl you want to date says they aren't interested? Is saying "no thank you" going to be banned because it might upset someone? We're going to assign dates from prom now so no one has to get the courage to ask someone or deal with the rejection? Not everyone is going to like you. Not everyone is going to want the same things you want. That's life!! We have to teach our kids to DEAL with those things....not prevent them from experiencing it! This rule sends a HORRIBLE message to kids that you aren't allowed to make choices about your relationships, that you can't "reject" anyone because it might hurt their feelings. How are they supposed to learn to navigate this stuff if we don't let them experience life?

Agree!!!

Woah woah woah!! Speak for yourself.... EVERYONE likes me!!

But seriously, I don't force my daughter to give anyone hugs. Some family is upset about that but here's the deal... if you want a hug from her, be a person she wants to hug. Same concept applies. If it's that important to you to be that persons best friend, be the best friend you can to them. Or realize that sometimes being just friends is good enough and find someone else to wear your besties necklace.

T used to be a huge hugger., I will never forget entering in to his football banquet, age 5., our school holds the banquet at a reception hall.. it’s pretty fancy lol.. they invite high school and college players (we had an OSU player that year) to speak.. basically macho -rah rah -work hard- football is the best sport ever, stuff.
Well, we were seated at a table with 3 other families from his team, the coach walks up to the table to see all of the boys, goes to give a high five to T.. and T runs up and gives him a giant hug!!

The 3 families all cracked up laughing, and the coach looked surprised, then laughed. T had no idea why everyone was laughing. It was cute though, and I’ll remember that moment forever. He may not have been the most macho guy in the room, but I loved it.

Btw, football is the only sport that gets a fancy banquet financed by our school athletic club.. now that T is a lowly soccer/baseball/basketball player we only get parties thrown by the team parents. i won’t go off on that tangent though.

 

[Songbird76]

Agree!!!


T used to be a huge hugger., I will never forget entering in to his football banquet, age 5., our school holds the banquet at a reception hall.. it’s pretty fancy lol.. they invite high school and college players (we had an OSU player that year) to speak.. basically macho -rah rah -work hard- football is the best sport ever, stuff.
Well, we were seated at a table with 3 other families from his team, the coach walks up to the table to see all of the boys, goes to give a high five to T.. and T runs up and gives him a giant hug!!

The 3 families all cracked up laughing, and the coach looked surprised, then laughed. T had no idea why everyone was laughing. It was cute though, and I’ll remember that moment forever. He may not have been the most macho guy in the room, but I loved it.

DD was always a huge hugger, and you would see her run up to one of her friends and go to hug them, and sometimes they would shy away and DD would just grab on. We had many discussions about boundaries and consent and waiting to find out whether the person WANTS a hug. Ask first, etc. And I'm the same way as @dryerlintfan....I don't make the kids hug or kiss anyone, even Oma and Opa. Even me. If they don't want to, the answer is no. In our house "If you don't ask, the answer is no." And not everyone likes to be touched. DS HATES to be tickled and it kind of makes me mad that Opa in particular doesn't really respect that. Everyone knows he hates it, so why do that to him when you KNOW it makes him uncomfortable. It makes me sad for the kids who grow up with these ridiculous rules that you have to invite EVERYONE to a party or you can't have one. You have to give EVERYONE hugs, you have to call EVERYONE your friend so you don't hurt their feelings. Well, maybe I don't want to BE friends with the kid who pushed me off the swing at recess...that kid isn't very nice. And that doesn't mean I'm going to be MEAN to them, but I shouldn't be forced to be "friends" with the person who bullies me. We've got the tail wagging the dog. It sounds like we're teaching our kids they just have to accept whatever someone offers or wants from them. That's a very scary thing to teach a little kid. I'm all for teaching kids to empathize and to take other people's feelings into account, and treat others as you want to be treated....that's great. But teaching kids not to express themselves at all or tell people what they are thinking is a dangerous precedent to set at that age. That's got to be confusing...is it ok to tell someone this is my cousin? Or my mom? Or will it hurt so and so's feelings that I don't call HER "mom"? Is it ok to say my favorite color is blue or am I supposed to say I don't have a favorite so I don't offend the kid who likes red? When is it ok to say what I like and when is it not? I would be so confused at that age.

 

[Songbird76]

Woah woah woah!! Speak for yourself.... EVERYONE likes me!!

But seriously, I don't force my daughter to give anyone hugs. Some family is upset about that but here's the deal... if you want a hug from her, be a person she wants to hug. Same concept applies. If it's that important to you to be that persons best friend, be the best friend you can to them. Or realize that sometimes being just friends is good enough and find someone else to wear your besties necklace.

Well of COURSE everyone likes YOU! You draw Disney characters on our lunch bags! But everyone ELSE....

 

[Songbird76]

They finally opened up the European 2019 deal for Disneyworld, but the site is too busy to actually LOOK at anything. I just keep getting the "Sorry. We're experiencing an extremely high volume of traffic at the moment. Please try again later." message. Oh well...I have until July.

In other news, one of the guys I went to college with lost his son. He went missing in November. He was 18 and had been staying with his grandparents in another state and apparently went out hiking, which he did often, but he didn't come back. A hiker found his body a few days ago at the bottom of a steep drop off. So so sad for this family. They lost a little girl several years ago to....I want to say meningitis, but I may be wrong. And now this.

 

[21stamps]

DD was always a huge hugger, and you would see her run up to one of her friends and go to hug them, and sometimes they would shy away and DD would just grab on. We had many discussions about boundaries and consent and waiting to find out whether the person WANTS a hug. Ask first, etc. And I'm the same way as @dryerlintfan....I don't make the kids hug or kiss anyone, even Oma and Opa. Even me. If they don't want to, the answer is no. In our house "If you don't ask, the answer is no." And not everyone likes to be touched. DS HATES to be tickled and it kind of makes me mad that Opa in particular doesn't really respect that. Everyone knows he hates it, so why do that to him when you KNOW it makes him uncomfortable. It makes me sad for the kids who grow up with these ridiculous rules that you have to invite EVERYONE to a party or you can't have one. You have to give EVERYONE hugs, you have to call EVERYONE your friend so you don't hurt their feelings. Well, maybe I don't want to BE friends with the kid who pushed me off the swing at recess...that kid isn't very nice. And that doesn't mean I'm going to be MEAN to them, but I shouldn't be forced to be "friends" with the person who bullies me. We've got the tail wagging the dog. It sounds like we're teaching our kids they just have to accept whatever someone offers or wants from them. That's a very scary thing to teach a little kid. I'm all for teaching kids to empathize and to take other people's feelings into account, and treat others as you want to be treated....that's great. But teaching kids not to express themselves at all or tell people what they are thinking is a dangerous precedent to set at that age. That's got to be confusing...is it ok to tell someone this is my cousin? Or my mom? Or will it hurt so and so's feelings that I don't call HER "mom"? Is it ok to say my favorite color is blue or am I supposed to say I don't have a favorite so I don't offend the kid who likes red? When is it ok to say what I like and when is it not? I would be so confused at that age.

I think kids must be so confused in today’s world. There’s so many things that you can or can not or must and must not do now.. it’s all so strange!!! I fear for how their own convictions and general outlooks will form over time. We just have to hope that parents don’t allow into our homes the same crazy mentality that society is forcing on us. However, how do you even explain that to a kid? I think people have gone mad, completely mad.

. It makes me sad for the kids who grow up with these ridiculous rules that you have to invite EVERYONE to a party or you can't have one.

I have to quote this because it happened in Kindergarten. I ordered Kylo Ren invitations from Etsy.. spent like $100 getting the stupid things printed out in 5x7 photos.

Sent them to school to all of the boys in his class, also included a note to his teacher -asking for her to give to the other K teacher to put in the home folders of 5 specific boys.

T comes home from school that day, invitations still in his backpack, with a note. Note said- “Please send invites for all of Mrs. X’s class, you can not just give invitations to a few of the boys.”
This was Kindergarten!! His first year at the school.. he didn’t even know all of the boys in the other class! One of them is a neighbor, the other 4 were on his football team. ALL I ASKED was to put them in the HOME FOLDERS. Not hand them out in front of everyone. I emailed her and explained this. She emailed me back and said that I must invite them if I wanted to give the physical invitations.

Oh I was so angry!! I was not about to invite 44 boys, and T loved the invites!!! So, I brought them to pick up after school.. watched for the parents, and handed them out myself.

 

[DryerLintFan]

They finally opened up the European 2019 deal for Disneyworld, but the site is too busy to actually LOOK at anything. I just keep getting the "Sorry. We're experiencing an extremely high volume of traffic at the moment. Please try again later." message. Oh well...I have until July.

In other news, one of the guys I went to college with lost his son. He went missing in November. He was 18 and had been staying with his grandparents in another state and apparently went out hiking, which he did often, but he didn't come back. A hiker found his body a few days ago at the bottom of a steep drop off. So so sad for this family. They lost a little girl several years ago to....I want to say meningitis, but I may be wrong. And now this.

That's so devastating

 

[MouseDreaming]

Really? It's not just this one preschool? This makes me crazy just thinking about it. It's like some parents don't want their kids to ever experience anything that is not fun and perfect. Oh just wait until they become adults and reality sinks in . . .

I think a lot of parents don't want their kid to be subject to the next line, which usually goes something like:
-we don't like you
-we can't play with you.
Basically, it is the new "exclusive kid" club, and you are not welcome.

 

[Songbird76]

I think kids must be so confused in today’s world. There’s so many things that you can or can not or must and must not do now.. it’s all so strange!!! I fear for how their own convictions and general outlooks will form over time. We just have to hope that parents don’t allow into our homes the same crazy mentality that society is forcing on us. However, how do you even explain that to a kid? I think people have gone mad, completely mad.



I have to quote this because it happened in Kindergarten. I ordered Kylo Ren invitations from Etsy.. spent like $100 getting the stupid things printed out in 5x7 photos.

Sent them to school to all of the boys in his class, also included a note to his teacher -asking for her to give to the other K teacher to put in the home folders of 5 specific boys.

T comes home from school that day, invitations still in his backpack, with a note. Note said- “Please send invites for all of Mrs. X’s class, you can not just give invitations to a few of the boys.”
This was Kindergarten!! His first year at the school.. he didn’t even know all of the boys in the other class! One of them is a neighbor, the other 4 were on his football team. ALL I ASKED was to put them in the HOME FOLDERS. Not hand them out in front of everyone. I emailed her and explained this. She emailed me back and said that I must invite them if I wanted to give the physical invitations.

Oh I was so angry!! I was not about to invite 44 boys, and T loved the invites!!! So, I brought them to pick up after school.. watched for the parents, and handed them out myself.

I've actually heard of places that won't allow you to even give the invitations out at school at all. I always had my kids hand them out but not in front of someone who wasn't invited. And there were definitely times when my kids weren't invited to a party. There was one year that DD wasn't invited to a friend's party and she was so disappointed, and I told her it was ok to ask why if she was really hurt, as it was one of her friends who had always invited her previously. The mom had limited the number to 4, and they were going to an indoor gym, and she knew DD didn't like sports and thought she wouldn't enjoy it. So she invited kids who she knew WOULD love it. DD was fine with that, but let the girl know she had been to that place and liked it, for future reference. And they are still friends....they were able to work it out and get past it. And that same girl/party, there was a boy who half the time he was in love with DD and half the time he was a little jerk, he went to DD and said "You know why Dané didn't invite you to her party? You aren't cool, and if she invited you, everyone would think SHE was uncool." and apparently the whole time the girl was trying to decide who to invite, he told her she wasn't allowed to invite DD and he wouldn't come if she did. But DD learned something from the whole situation, and it didn't ruin any friendships. How else will they learn to navigate this kind of thing? That's how they learn. It just makes me so afraid that our kids won't be able to handle difficult situations because we've never let them BE in difficult situations and taught them how to handle it.

 

[Songbird76]

That's so devastating

I know. I can't even imagine! They have just had such a difficult time. He used to bring his little girl to rehearsals when the babysitter canceled, or bring her to class, and she was so well-behaved. Just barely walking, and everyone loved on her and the professors never minded it. She's the one who died, I think when she was 7 or 8. And this boy was 18, so had just graduated high school and he went to live with his grandparents for a while. I think he might have been going on mission soon for their church. But in any case, he had already left home, and his life was cut way too short.

 

[MouseDreaming]

I think kids must be so confused in today’s world. There’s so many things that you can or can not or must and must not do now.. it’s all so strange!!! I fear for how their own convictions and general outlooks will form over time. We just have to hope that parents don’t allow into our homes the same crazy mentality that society is forcing on us. However, how do you even explain that to a kid? I think people have gone mad, completely mad.



I have to quote this because it happened in Kindergarten. I ordered Kylo Ren invitations from Etsy.. spent like $100 getting the stupid things printed out in 5x7 photos.

Sent them to school to all of the boys in his class, also included a note to his teacher -asking for her to give to the other K teacher to put in the home folders of 5 specific boys.

T comes home from school that day, invitations still in his backpack, with a note. Note said- “Please send invites for all of Mrs. X’s class, you can not just give invitations to a few of the boys.”
This was Kindergarten!! His first year at the school.. he didn’t even know all of the boys in the other class! One of them is a neighbor, the other 4 were on his football team. ALL I ASKED was to put them in the HOME FOLDERS. Not hand them out in front of everyone. I emailed her and explained this. She emailed me back and said that I must invite them if I wanted to give the physical invitations.

Oh I was so angry!! I was not about to invite 44 boys, and T loved the invites!!! So, I brought them to pick up after school.. watched for the parents, and handed them out myself.

And now I have to give the other story. Earlier this week we had a situation among some of the 2/3 boys in one classroom. Little kid was nice enough to inform one boy he invited all of the boys but him. On purpose. Really amazing recess for that class. If parents don't teach kids to be nice to everyone, at least have a filter, you get some pretty devastated kids. And no, the invites were not passed out in class. There was really no reason for the kid to bring it up, except to be a bully.

 

[DryerLintFan]

I think a lot of parents don't want their kid to be subject to the next line, which usually goes something like:
-we don't like you
-we can't play with you.
Basically, it is the new "exclusive kid" club, and you are not welcome.

Sure..... but that's life. Here at work there are people I don't like and people who don't like me (shocker, right?!?!). We need to learn to deal with those feelings, both when we have them or when they are directed at us. The teaching moment here isn't teaching children to change their words, it's teaching children to change their behavior. So when they grow up and they're in the real world and there's someone they don't like there, they're still able to work with them and hang out with them and even have a beer with them without causing a scene or saying something hurtful. You don't like that girl, that's fine, but don't be a d**k to her.

 

[donaldtoo]

Kinda' a lazy day here at the office on this Half-day Friday, so I decided to post a pic of my office friends/stuff...



The Yoda "flashlight" was a white elephant gift, the fish is from Port Aransas, Mickey is (of course) from WDW, the "beer mug" from Prague, and the lizard from Cozumel...!

 

[donaldtoo]

And, we have this firm fun comin' up next Half-day Friday...!!!!!!!



And, on that note, both of my projects are wrapped so I'm cruisin' this joint an hour early...!!!!!!!
Y'all be cool, gang...!!!
Laterrrrrrrrrrr...!!!!!

 

[Cesar R M]

View attachment 279152

But if you work for home.. does this means going home means going to work?

 

[Cesar R M]

They finally opened up the European 2019 deal for Disneyworld, but the site is too busy to actually LOOK at anything. I just keep getting the "Sorry. We're experiencing an extremely high volume of traffic at the moment. Please try again later." message. Oh well...I have until July.

Keep trying! I remember bombarding for days the site of California Grill until I finally managed to get a spot!

In other news, one of the guys I went to college with lost his son. He went missing in November. He was 18 and had been staying with his grandparents in another state and apparently went out hiking, which he did often, but he didn't come back. A hiker found his body a few days ago at the bottom of a steep drop off. So so sad for this family. They lost a little girl several years ago to....I want to say meningitis, but I may be wrong. And now this.

Thats awful, what a way to go

 

[StarWarsGirl]

View attachment 279152

Oh, now why would I want to do that? I have two purchase orders to do, a Sarbanes Oxley Act compliancy report to do, and it's PC refresh season, so I get to tell people what they can and cannot have installed on their computers. Oh, and here's the REALLY fun part: we're now requiring all of our users to upgrade to the latest version of their Adobe products, and IT doesn't pay for it; they have to get their own department to pay, so I get to irritate a whole bunch of people I've never met. I mean, who wants to go home when you get to do all this?

 

[21stamps]

I've actually heard of places that won't allow you to even give the invitations out at school at all. I always had my kids hand them out but not in front of someone who wasn't invited. And there were definitely times when my kids weren't invited to a party. There was one year that DD wasn't invited to a friend's party and she was so disappointed, and I told her it was ok to ask why if she was really hurt, as it was one of her friends who had always invited her previously. The mom had limited the number to 4, and they were going to an indoor gym, and she knew DD didn't like sports and thought she wouldn't enjoy it. So she invited kids who she knew WOULD love it. DD was fine with that, but let the girl know she had been to that place and liked it, for future reference. And they are still friends....they were able to work it out and get past it. And that same girl/party, there was a boy who half the time he was in love with DD and half the time he was a little jerk, he went to DD and said "You know why Dané didn't invite you to her party? You aren't cool, and if she invited you, everyone would think SHE was uncool." and apparently the whole time the girl was trying to decide who to invite, he told her she wasn't allowed to invite DD and he wouldn't come if she did. But DD learned something from the whole situation, and it didn't ruin any friendships. How else will they learn to navigate this kind of thing? That's how they learn. It just makes me so afraid that our kids won't be able to handle difficult situations because we've never let them BE in difficult situations and taught them how to handle it.

I agree, and I also have to stress that he was not handing them out! In Kindergarten the teachers would put written parent correspondence in a “parent folder”, that folder was handed to the teacher in the morning, and handed back to the student at the end of the day.. the kids weren’t allowed to open it. All I wanted was the invites placed in those folders! I would never have a kid hand out invites in front of other kids at school, regardless of policy.

 

[donaldtoo]

Sitting in The Salvation Army parking lot waiting for DS to get off work. Good grief, so many drivers suffering from what I refer to as HUBS (Head Up Butt Syndrome). Somehow I survived the trip... I could post about this every day, but, good grief, it was HUBS on steroids today!!!
Please, pray for us for a safe trip back home...

 

[21stamps]

I think a lot of parents don't want their kid to be subject to the next line, which usually goes something like:
-we don't like you
-we can't play with you.
Basically, it is the new "exclusive kid" club, and you are not welcome.

I think it’s the parents who are the worst offenders of this right now.

I’ve been constantly floored over the segregation that parents are actively imposing on the kids. I’ve gotten so mad at it a few times.. really mad, once I confronted one of the dads at an athletic club meeting and gave him an earful.

These kids are 2nd graders!! It’s been like this since K, but it’s even worse this year. There’s definitely a clique, especially with the dads, and your kid’s close friends/play dates and sports teams are determined by if you’re in the clique. It’s really sad.

 

[donaldtoo]

Back at the casa safe and sound!
Fortunately, not nearly as much HUBS on the drive back home...!!!!!