OK, I have a serious question, and am not trying to be a smart***, or be judgemental in any way. But, what is the ultimate goal of all of this for your child?
There is a very popular local radio talk show host here. He and I played on rival HS soccer teams back in the day (incidentally, DWifey did a temp fill-in job at the radio station a few months back for one day, and he remembered me, but remembered my next younger bro better 'cause they graduated the same year). Anyway, he ended up being a very successful field goal kicker for the Universty of Texas for all 4 years of college. He then went on to try out for the Dallas Cowboys, and was let go personally by Tom Landry himself (younger folks, Google
). After the Houston Oiler kicker back in the day (can't remember his name) got blown up on a kick and his leg was destroyed, they called him and 3 other guys in for tryouts. They gave him the contract to be the kicker as he was leaving the facility. He was elated. Unfortunately, by the time he woke up the next morning, the NFL strike had started, and his contract was torn up...all that money gone. He was never offered another NFL contract again...his window had closed.
He was smart enough to get his degree in marketing while at UT and is also a marketing professor there part time. He has talked many times about the percentages of kids that start out in any sport, move on to the next stage even smaller, then the next even way smaller, etc. But, that is where it usually stops for most, as the odds become infinitesimally smaller as the level increases. Just think about all the great college football players that went on to the NFL and couldn't hack it. It's a WHOLE different game in the big leagues.
Not remotely, remotely, remotely, remotely, close to every child is going to be a sports hero, no matter how many sports a parent puts them in and how hard they push them. It just ain't happenin'.
Again, I'm just curious as to the motivation for all of that vs. picking just one sport or activity and focusing more on academic endeavors, as a more realistic backup.
Again, no judgement, just a serious inquirey.
I will understand if you choose to pass.
Honestly, the goal is simple- what makes him happy.
That said, I did start him in sports at age 3, which at that time was strictly my decision. I’m a huge fan of sports, I played indoor soccer and sand volleyball until age 36 (I’d still play indoor if I had the time) I’ve had a wonderful experience with sports throughout my life, and I come from a very sports oriented immediate and extended family. Some of my first memories include playing in the dirt at my dad’s baseball games when I was a little kid. Ha ha.
It was important to my parents for myself and my siblings to play sports as well.. we could choose what we wanted to play, or dance or dive.. but they highly encouraged us to do something in school or out of school (we’re all athletic so it wasn’t a bad “forced”). Both of them ended up being our coaches at a few of our different school sports, each until we finished 8th grade.
I think that sports teach great life lessons from a young age.
To be clear- I don’t think sports are the only way, I’m just saying my view for my family.
From a very young age in sports I had to deal with hard work, setting goals, time management, commitment, team work, individual responsibility and accountability to myself, my coaches, and my team.. and sometimes- great disappointment, but other times- great reward. During it all, and as I continued to grow, I made wonderful relationships within my school, as everyone does, but also a closeness with kids and families outside of my school with the select soccer and diving. My diving coach was like a 3rd parent to me. My dad was my soccer coach, so he was my actual parent.
I know that my sister felt the same about her gymnastic coach. My sister is now 34 and my dad still played golf with her old gymnastic coach up until last year when he passed away. My sister and I both had to travel for our main sport. Being in those intense situations, traveling with teammates and their families, made us all form a bond that has lasted even til today.
Regarding club sports - I would love for my child to have the same experience as myself and my sister had as I mentioned above. I would accept if he didn’t want to make that kind of commitment though, and I would never force him. I did let him tryout for baseball last year, but I did not let him tryout for soccer until this past October...even though he asked repeatedly.
So far he hasn’t met a sport that he doesn’t like, although I, as the mean Mom, have said “No” to hockey, and that will not change. He’s been begging for lacrosse for 2 years.. I have said “maybe later” to that. We’re a lacrosse family, at least the men, but logistically I can’t add that sport with 2 other spring sports right now.
Would I like him to get a college scholarship? Of course. But that’s not my motivation for sports. I believe in being well rounded, in formal education, sports, volunteering, other extracurricular activities. We aren’t a family who has much downtime, and I’m sure my kid may appear ‘over scheduled’ to strangers, but I’ve been overscheduled my whole life, so it’s just how I’m wired, and so far he thrives the same way I did.
Again, I’m not saying sports are the end all be all. I was also a Girl Scout (until 6th or 7th grade) and from 7th grade on I volunteered at local places a few hours per week(mandatory in high school), I was and still am an insatiable reader, and I try to push my son towards that more than I’ve ever had to push him in sports.lol.
So I guess this whole story of my background is just saying that- my parents never had dreams or goals of any of us becoming pro athletes or even getting college sports scholarships. My sister was on the national team, but they did not force her, and she retired at 17. They just wanted us to have fun, be active, and have as many experiences as possible.
That’s how I was raised, and that’s what I want for my son.
Interestingly, and I may have mentioned his before, my sister turned down a full ride (for soccer) to a Division 1 State university.. Although I think my dad almost had a heart attack after her reaction, he agreed and supported her with what she wanted for her future, and that school wouldn’t set her up the best way for her career goals. So she declined, and accepted entry into a school which doesn’t allow any academic scholarships for their athletes. Luckily she received a few scholarships thru her high school for college, at least that was some consolation.
I would do the same as my dad if I was ever in that position with my own son.
Being a good human, acadademics, and future career come first, but you can do that while playing sports, and/or any other extracurricular activities.
The main thing that I want for him, is to never look back on his life and think “I wish I would have done.. or tried.. or experienced...”
With the exception of travel hockey, he’ll never experience that.
