The Chit Chat Chit Chat Thread

Gabe1

Ivory Tower Squabble EST 2011. WINDMILL SURVIVOR
Don't be surprised if it reverses. I was the good student and fairly easy as a kid while my brother, who has autism, had trouble at school, got in trouble a good bit, and just generally was more challenging. He's in middle school now, and while he has days where he is completely irritating to live with, he generally gives my mom less carp than I did. Of course, I very rarely gave my dad any carp, and to some degree, he was perpetually amused, but my brother balances out nore who he pulls the carp with.

I will say this: don't let your son or daughter get away with talking disrespectfully to you. Demand respect. Don't let thay slide, because if you do, you'll have far more problens down the line than if you just nip the problem when it starts. Just pure observation: my friends whose parenfs were like mime talked respectfully to their parents by high school whereas my mom's one friend, who let a lot slide during middle school, has problems now with respect at home (I've heard her daughter speak go her...I never would have gotten that far with my mom), and her daughter is a high school senior. They've also had problems with her being disrespectful to other adults, including teachers. Be understanding of the raging hormones, and realize that to some degree, your kids really can't help it. But don't use it as an excuse for poor behavior either.

True. IMO it starts very young molding kids. I was blessed and while my DD was special needs being non verbal back then her intelligence balanced it out so I was fortunate in that regard. But with me it started before they could walk. There was no tossing bottles or food from strollers and high chairs. Melt down, they went down for a nap or in crib to chill. Kids learn boundaries very very early. They couldn't walk yet but they'd stick their arm out and hand me back their bottles or sippy cups from stroller. I was late to the party having kids in comparison to many of my friends. I watched some of their mistakes and how hard it is to break those behaviors. I figured I had to have control early on or it would be all over by the time they were young teens. I have a way of looking sideways and both knew what that meant. I can remember my son saying as a preschooler, Grandma Moms looking at me with sideways eyes. Now my kids and I do that amongst ourselves when we see relative's children's out of control.
 

donaldtoo

Well-Known Member
Yeah, I don't quite understand the process, but my lawyer said the judge we have doesn't like to made decisions and would rather have others assess instead. So they're doing a parent evaluation, but not a full one, although it should definitely pick up Mr. Donkey's jerkiness, which will benefit my case.

He's all moved out, thankfully, and for the most part he's been quiet, except yesterday he emails me asking why I didn't inform him of our daughter spending the night at my mom's on Friday. It took a lot of effort not to be snarky and tell him "because I never agreed to right of first refusal when we created our temporary agreement idiot!!"

Excuse me...? o_O
WTH...?! :confused:
  1. judge

    NOUN
    1. a public official appointed to decide cases in a court of law
 

donaldtoo

Well-Known Member
That was a very popular costume when I was in school

I'll bet... :cautious: :cool:

;)

wire-sm.jpg
 

donaldtoo

Well-Known Member
OK gang, time for me to slow down on the playin' here for now. Although things are a little slow 'round here (Spring Break and some of the partners are out), I still do have some projects to work on... :cautious: :D and, a clothing store closer tonight. :)
Have a Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Darn day, all...! ;)
Laterrrrrrr...!!! :)
 

Goofyernmost

Well-Known Member
Once again... a serious moment. This situation is ripping my family apart and I don't know what to do about it. I have mentioned my X a number of times and her declining health, but, it has come to a head and is looking like it is going to make mortal enemies out of two sisters, both of whom I love dearly.

I believe I mentioned that my X's condition has been declining rapidly and it is due to a condition, from an unknown origin, that has rendered her unable to swallow or speak in an understandable manner. When asked if she wanted a feeding tube, she said no. However, it has also been determined that her current mental state maybe at a point of not being totally aware of what it means, one way or the other. The Doctors feel that they might get her into a hospital and do some intravenous action to get her strength up enough to allow the process of inserting a feeding tube. After that they feel that there is a least a chance of retraining her to swallow and thus prolong her life for some time (undetermined length). My daughters are at an impasse due to the fact that one feels that 1) her mother has already said no and 2) the quality of life enters into it. Even at best all it will provide her with is a couple of years of sitting in a chair starring at the wall. The other, of course, feels that whatever hope there is hinges on her having the feeding tube and doesn't want to come to the conclusion that her mother just wants to die and that whatever is possible to possibly help should be pursued.

Couple that with the idea that I shouldn't even be involved because the woman divorced me 15 years ago because she no longer wanted to be married and wanted to control her own life. Well, she got control of it, but, her life long mental illnesses didn't allow her to make that work and now she is in this situation and my girls are being forced to make decisions that no child should ever have to make. I am torn personally. I can't say that any "love" exists between her and I, but we were married for 29 years, raised two children from birth to adulthood and had all the experiences that most couples have had in their marriages. The last thing I want to see is for her to be suffering, but, I really have no say in the matter anymore. I'm not sure I want it, but, I don't want them to be in that position either. I feel some responsibility due to the fact that I was somewhat involved in the process that made her their mother. At least I was at the time. For one of the first times in my life, I feel helpless. Unable to protect my girls from the pain and the really sad bit of dysfunction that they are currently in or heading for. Any suggestions? No, that's ok, I know it's not your problem but I needed to vent a little. I hate this. They are the only family that I have and I hate confrontation with a passion, but, I feel ready to explode and scream out that this isn't about the two of you, it's about your Mother. Carp or get off the pot.
 

Gabe1

Ivory Tower Squabble EST 2011. WINDMILL SURVIVOR
Once again... a serious moment. This situation is ripping my family apart and I don't know what to do about it. I have mentioned my X a number of times and her declining health, but, it has come to a head and is looking like it is going to make mortal enemies out of two sisters, both of whom I love dearly.

I believe I mentioned that my X's condition has been declining rapidly and it is due to a condition, from an unknown origin, that has rendered her unable to swallow or speak in an understandable manner. When asked if she wanted a feeding tube, she said no. However, it has also been determined that her current mental state maybe at a point of not being totally aware of what it means, one way or the other. The Doctors feel that they might get her into a hospital and do some intravenous action to get her strength up enough to allow the process of inserting a feeding tube. After that they feel that there is a least a chance of retraining her to swallow and thus prolong her life for some time (undetermined length). My daughters are at an impasse due to the fact that one feels that 1) her mother has already said no and 2) the quality of life enters into it. Even at best all it will provide her with is a couple of years of sitting in a chair starring at the wall. The other, of course, feels that whatever hope there is hinges on her having the feeding tube and doesn't want to come to the conclusion that her mother just wants to die and that whatever is possible to possibly help should be pursued.

Couple that with the idea that I shouldn't even be involved because the woman divorced me 15 years ago because she no longer wanted to be married and wanted to control her own life. Well, she got control of it, but, her life long mental illnesses didn't allow her to make that work and now she is in this situation and my girls are being forced to make decisions that no child should ever have to make. I am torn personally. I can't say that any "love" exists between her and I, but we were married for 29 years, raised two children from birth to adulthood and had all the experiences that most couples have had in their marriages. The last thing I want to see is for her to be suffering, but, I really have no say in the matter anymore. I'm not sure I want it, but, I don't want them to be in that position either. I feel some responsibility due to the fact that I was somewhat involved in the process that made her their mother. At least I was at the time. For one of the first times in my life, I feel helpless. Unable to protect my girls from the pain and the really sad bit of dysfunction that they are currently in or heading for. Any suggestions? No, that's ok, I know it's not your problem but I needed to vent a little. I hate this. They are the only family that I have and I hate confrontation with a passion, but, I feel ready to explode and scream out that this isn't about the two of you, it's about your Mother. Carp or get off the pot.

I do. This is how my FIL life came to an end, a man I loved very much. He had had a DNR. He said no to feeding tube. Well after some stupidity and medical ooops. A DNR plus a feeding tube was put in. He had a much slower death with a great deal of pain in the end.
If swallowing is only partial then the food and salavia starts going into the lungs and there is bouts of bacterial pneumonia. Eventually feeding tube still in and giving him just enough energy to not die but suffering from lung issues the collateral damage. I had wished his DNR and No tube had been respected despite the loving need to try and fix him that wasn't going to really fix him. Ultimately my husband had to make the call to unhook him and requested enough drugs to keep him out of pain, the medical people complied and he was dead in 2 hours and finally at peace after months of months of needless suffering and the family members watching him in such pain because of the decisions they made that overrode his wishes.

My suggestion would be to have the 2 daughters sit with doctors and social worker. Get a complete grasp of what each avenue of choice will bring for their Mom on down the road. Nothing....pain meds, death with dignity? Feeding Tube, what quality of life and when her health goes downhill what will she go through? The Docs can give the clinical, the social worker at hospital can bring the discussion to a mediated discussion over what is best for Mom vs is what is emotional better for Mom's family.

I feel for your daughters. As you've likely read we are struggling with many physical issues with my Dad at the moment. Also coupled with likely some type of cognitive issues making it far worse. My Mom and I are on one page and unexpectedly my Sis is traveling down a different road. My Sis and I have not had a debate about it yet but I know if it is left to our decisions and the Lord doesn't take the choices out of our hands we could be in the same situation though my Mom has the ultimate call when it comes down to it.

Please feel free to vent and rant when needed. We all need a safe place and this seems to be many of ours. Pixie Dust to you and your daughters. I'll keep you guys in my list of growing prayers.
 

Cesar R M

Well-Known Member
Zootopia was great (absolutely hysterical; I laughed my way through it), and like a typical almost-21-year-old, I just got in. My friend (who is one of my best friends, but I don't get to see all the time because she lives two counties over) and I were talking for about two hours after the movie. The movie's issues sparked some really deep conversations between us about racial issues. Nice to have a friend with whom you can have deep conversations, but no one gets mad if you disagree.

Also, I liked Judy Hopps, but Nick Wilde is my favorite. I might take my brother to see it again this week because I enjoyed the movie so much. The amount of Frozen references in that movie is hilarious as well.

Note: the spoiler contains a major plot point and some other stuff, so unless you've seen the movie, you should highlight and quote part of this post or tag me if you want to respond; otherwise, you'll risk seeing a spoiler.

Like, "This isn't some animated movie where everyone sings and it turns out all happy at the end. So...let it go." :hilarious:

And "It's not "Wesselton" it's "Weaselton":hilarious: My friend somehow missed that. I was laughing my head off.

And the naturalist club and then the speeding sloth at the end.:hilarious::hilarious::hilarious:

I also was thinking halfway through that Nick Wilde would be a good partner for Judy. And then that's how it ended. So cute. This is one film I'd really like a sequel for just so we can see more of Nick and Judy as partners on the police force.

Tommy Chong's character was hillarious.

Overall, it was a fantastic movie, better than I was expecting. Just absolutely perfect. Cannot find a thing wrong with it or that I wish were different.
I actually ended watching it 3 times.
Love the "musical" ending.
The sloths were insane. so funny! and the little fox was hysterical.

my favourite part was still the "intro". so cute!
 

Cesar R M

Well-Known Member
OMG Okay so here is a bit of information about me, I only get onto these forums while at work so when the evening comes or the weekend hits, I go 'dark'. So since my last message to you guys on Friday, there have been 363 posts entered into this chit chat forum...do you guys take a breath? BTW, it has taken me about an hour and a half just to catch up on 2/3'rds of those messages I missed.
Most of us post here twice a day lol. I can barely keep up now.
 

Cesar R M

Well-Known Member
I've never done a trip report. Don't think I ever will, I'm not good at remembering every day, and I don't want to have to take notes. I 'm sorry. I have a hard time keeping up on Chit Chat, and that is my first priority. It's fun on here everyday.:inlove::inlove::inlove:
technically, you do not have to "keep up" with the trip reports, just write what you did with some pictures and thats all.
 

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