Gabe1
Ivory Tower Squabble EST 2011. WINDMILL SURVIVOR
Drive bye Part 2
Not so good K-Cup coffees
In selecting our cups, we wanted to get the full spectrum of the Keurig experience, so we picked a grab bag of different brands, roast levels, and flavors. And to make sure we didn’t miss any popular brands, we sorted through several online shops and picked the best sellers.
We brewed each cup on the middle setting using very fancy water from Cuvée’s parallel-activated, carbon-filtered OptiPure system. The tasting was done blindly in rounds of six, with Lorenzo marking his favorites from each round and then returning to compare them at the end to create a master ranking.
Read on to follow us down this massive K-hole.
23. Van Houtte Costa Rica
Lorenzo reflexively spit this coffee out.
22. Timothy’s Rainforest Espresso
"Really, really dark. The darkest. There is a little sweetness, but it’s like chewing on roasted barley."
21. Barista Prima House Blend
"Bitter, overly roasty, hints of paper. Tastes like coffee at Grandpa’s."
20. Wolfgang Puck Jamaica Me Crazy
"Just like buttered rum. Or walking into a kitschy Christmas shop."
19. Gloria Jean’s Butter Toffee
"The overwhelming flavors are chemical and alcohol, like Yukon Jack whiskey."
18. Tully’s Italian Roast
"Very dark. I’m getting mostly smoke and ash."
17. Tim Hortons Arabica
"Burnt caramels. But as it cooled it tasted just like chicken-flavored ramen noodles."
16. Donut House
"Peanut shell."
More: Every Single Meaningful Cereal Ever, Ranked
15. Caribou Blend
"Astringent and extremely bitter."
14. Green Mountain Pumpkin Spice
"Cinnamon is the main flavor note. It tastes like a Hobby Lobby."
13. Starbucks Pike Place
"Overly roasted."
12. Barrie House Donut Shop
"Tastes like airplane coffee. Super flat, lots of bitterness. Styrofoam peanuts."
11. Diedrich French Roast
"Low acidity, very darkly roasted. Not too bad, but unspectacular."
10. Coffee People Jet Fuel
"Cigar-smokey, but there is some arabica sweetness. Not a bad choice if you’re into darker roasts, and actually keeps some complexity as it cools."
9. Café Escapes Café Caramel
"Look at that color. It tastes nothing like coffee. But I kind of like it because it reminds me of Werther’s Originals and the type of milky, caramel drinks that I served when I first got into coffee."
8. Folgers Classic Roast
"Very weird acidity. Tastes like low-quality coffee, roasted super flat, but not totally unpleasant."
7. Starbucks Caramel
"By far the best flavored coffee. It’s saccharine, but really light and the flavor isn’t too overwhelming."
6. Dunkin’ Donuts Original
"Hotel airpot coffee, like from a Best Western. Totally drinkable with cream and sugar, but develops a medicinal quality as it cools."
Credit: story and all images by Dan Gentile
Not so good K-Cup coffees
![f044b6af3cdf6ad5fda66dcea8a1242cc86fef33.jpg](https://s.yimg.com/cd/resizer/2.0/FIT_TO_WIDTH-w500/f044b6af3cdf6ad5fda66dcea8a1242cc86fef33.jpg)
In selecting our cups, we wanted to get the full spectrum of the Keurig experience, so we picked a grab bag of different brands, roast levels, and flavors. And to make sure we didn’t miss any popular brands, we sorted through several online shops and picked the best sellers.
We brewed each cup on the middle setting using very fancy water from Cuvée’s parallel-activated, carbon-filtered OptiPure system. The tasting was done blindly in rounds of six, with Lorenzo marking his favorites from each round and then returning to compare them at the end to create a master ranking.
Read on to follow us down this massive K-hole.
![2d43c7d8d034ce3a1da4bf5c37f64e801194948e.jpg](https://s.yimg.com/cd/resizer/2.0/FIT_TO_WIDTH-w500/2d43c7d8d034ce3a1da4bf5c37f64e801194948e.jpg)
23. Van Houtte Costa Rica
Lorenzo reflexively spit this coffee out.
22. Timothy’s Rainforest Espresso
"Really, really dark. The darkest. There is a little sweetness, but it’s like chewing on roasted barley."
![f64fcc5178ec6deb8b7d3f0f5a72a3f1e7c71284.jpg](https://s.yimg.com/cd/resizer/2.0/FIT_TO_WIDTH-w500/f64fcc5178ec6deb8b7d3f0f5a72a3f1e7c71284.jpg)
21. Barista Prima House Blend
"Bitter, overly roasty, hints of paper. Tastes like coffee at Grandpa’s."
20. Wolfgang Puck Jamaica Me Crazy
"Just like buttered rum. Or walking into a kitschy Christmas shop."
19. Gloria Jean’s Butter Toffee
"The overwhelming flavors are chemical and alcohol, like Yukon Jack whiskey."
![446221c8b2910e83e0b12ef0f6082117f767d211.jpg](https://s.yimg.com/cd/resizer/2.0/FIT_TO_WIDTH-w500/446221c8b2910e83e0b12ef0f6082117f767d211.jpg)
18. Tully’s Italian Roast
"Very dark. I’m getting mostly smoke and ash."
17. Tim Hortons Arabica
"Burnt caramels. But as it cooled it tasted just like chicken-flavored ramen noodles."
16. Donut House
"Peanut shell."
More: Every Single Meaningful Cereal Ever, Ranked
![bb20c7fc1f7e2f07955f3511de692d2f474d1baf.jpg](https://s.yimg.com/cd/resizer/2.0/FIT_TO_WIDTH-w500/bb20c7fc1f7e2f07955f3511de692d2f474d1baf.jpg)
15. Caribou Blend
"Astringent and extremely bitter."
14. Green Mountain Pumpkin Spice
"Cinnamon is the main flavor note. It tastes like a Hobby Lobby."
13. Starbucks Pike Place
"Overly roasted."
![30af802006eb85e0aab48cbae3394ff3b3fc96c7.jpg](https://s.yimg.com/cd/resizer/2.0/FIT_TO_WIDTH-w500/30af802006eb85e0aab48cbae3394ff3b3fc96c7.jpg)
12. Barrie House Donut Shop
"Tastes like airplane coffee. Super flat, lots of bitterness. Styrofoam peanuts."
11. Diedrich French Roast
"Low acidity, very darkly roasted. Not too bad, but unspectacular."
10. Coffee People Jet Fuel
"Cigar-smokey, but there is some arabica sweetness. Not a bad choice if you’re into darker roasts, and actually keeps some complexity as it cools."
![afd31498a21f8df2cbd29544aac499f7e30e15b2.jpg](https://s.yimg.com/cd/resizer/2.0/FIT_TO_WIDTH-w500/afd31498a21f8df2cbd29544aac499f7e30e15b2.jpg)
9. Café Escapes Café Caramel
"Look at that color. It tastes nothing like coffee. But I kind of like it because it reminds me of Werther’s Originals and the type of milky, caramel drinks that I served when I first got into coffee."
8. Folgers Classic Roast
"Very weird acidity. Tastes like low-quality coffee, roasted super flat, but not totally unpleasant."
7. Starbucks Caramel
"By far the best flavored coffee. It’s saccharine, but really light and the flavor isn’t too overwhelming."
![128a5839da83072c99a1ad52471f35854c71afbb.jpg](https://s.yimg.com/cd/resizer/2.0/FIT_TO_WIDTH-w500/128a5839da83072c99a1ad52471f35854c71afbb.jpg)
6. Dunkin’ Donuts Original
"Hotel airpot coffee, like from a Best Western. Totally drinkable with cream and sugar, but develops a medicinal quality as it cools."
Credit: story and all images by Dan Gentile