The Chit Chat Chit Chat Thread

Goofyernmost

Well-Known Member
Did she ever remarry? That was a pretty common practice back then...a widow and a widower getting married because a man needed someone to cook for him and keep his house and a woman needed someone to provide for her and her children. It was kind of a symbiotic relationship.
It didn't indicate that she did remarry, but the likelihood is high.
 

ajrwdwgirl

Premium Member
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Had to switch to the computer to respond lol. I started to reference this in my TR, but that felt really weird.

We thought he was doing better as well. In the rehab facility, he participated more in the rehab than he did at the hospital. He was still easily agitated (we figured out certain meds seemed to make that worse) and panicked/stressed a lot. One brother flew down from NC and decided "we have to get him out of here." That was exactly what the Dr. warned Brian against doing. But they got him out on Tuesday. He could walk a certain distance and had some energy. Brian "moved back into" the house at least for the transition, but we thought he would end up staying there long term, even for one shift per day, alternating with a nurse. But there was no nurse yet except for a quick visit per day.

He has had congestive heart failure for a few years, has oxygen tanks, etc. I don't know whether he was weakened by the stroke and other recent issues, but simultaneously, that has worsened. When I woke up yesterday morning (feels like a week ago) there was a text from Brian around 3:30AM. (I had mentioned to him that I wasn't sleeping well and if he was up in the middle of the night, he could reach out.) I woke up around 6, saw the text, and we had a call. B was very freaked out. The "gurgling sounds" while breathing at night had gotten much worse. B was the primary caretaker (in his 20's!) when his mom passed from Ovarian cancer at a young age. She didn't want anyone else in the room but him. He said this was the same thing that happened with her before she passed.

I told him he can't have this on his head - possibly making the "wrong" decision in the middle of the night, trying to handle this by himself. He said Dad was mostly sleeping, I said but what happens when he isn't? What if something happens and he's in sudden pain and looking at B for help? I didn't want him to have to live with that. I found the number for Hospice and said please call them, they will know what to do, they will make him more comfortable - and they will tell you if they are not needed.

So hospice and one brother came, and they agreed the best plan was to deactivate the pacemaker and let whatever happens naturally unfold. He has a DNR. He wants to go. That was supposed to happen last night, we were waiting for the magnet (required for that procedure) to be hand delivered - and we didn't realize they had just left it in the mailbox. By the time we found it, the night nurse was there and she didn't know how to do that. The brother went home in the afternoon.

The wrinkle: they had put in a catheter the day before. He was still having issues and he pulled on it, which led to a lot of bleeding - and ever since, a lot of pain, which leads to more pulling. Even with morphine, this man is in pain, uncomfortable, and nothing can be done with it until we can get a doctor out, or it could get much worse.

So even on morphine, he will sleep for 3 to 5 minutes at a time, and then with slurred speech from the stroke cry out, "help me help me HELP ME! BRIAN!" (I'm amazed how loud he can be!) But there's nothing to do. Brian ends up reprimanding him like he's a child to stop messing with the catheter. It's 100% awful to hear this, to see it, every 5 minutes over and over, with the nurse right there. The stepmother is not in her right mind and gets in the way. I left about 1AM and actually went to one of my stores to drop off some merch I meant to bring earlier in the day. I got to bed around 4.

The estranged brother is not coming. His choice. The brother who was here yesterday is coming back tomorrow. (***.) Not sure about NC brother. Brian is basically alone with this, and it's not just babysitting, it's torture. I am frantically trying to finish up our taxes due in 4 days (biz taxes are complicated!) but I am on call for when they are going to do the pacemaker procedure. I don't want Brian to be by himself in case he passes right away. He got choked up telling me this morning that he was telling the closer brother: "I listened to Mom drowning, I don't wan't to do it again with Dad." omg.

And I just got the pacemaker text. Heading out.

Oh my, I am so sad for what Brian and you are going through. When my mom was very sick in the hospital she had some of the Help me help me moments too. It was heartbreaking for me and my sister and dad not to be able to help her and we just felt helpless ourselves. Watching my mom slip away was the worst thing I've ever experienced in my life so I totally get it. Luckily had a a great partner in my husband for support and I'm sure you are a great support for Brian, sending you two lots of prayers and well wishes.
 

Songbird76

Well-Known Member
Had to switch to the computer to respond lol. I started to reference this in my TR, but that felt really weird.

We thought he was doing better as well. In the rehab facility, he participated more in the rehab than he did at the hospital. He was still easily agitated (we figured out certain meds seemed to make that worse) and panicked/stressed a lot. One brother flew down from NC and decided "we have to get him out of here." That was exactly what the Dr. warned Brian against doing. But they got him out on Tuesday. He could walk a certain distance and had some energy. Brian "moved back into" the house at least for the transition, but we thought he would end up staying there long term, even for one shift per day, alternating with a nurse. But there was no nurse yet except for a quick visit per day.

He has had congestive heart failure for a few years, has oxygen tanks, etc. I don't know whether he was weakened by the stroke and other recent issues, but simultaneously, that has worsened. When I woke up yesterday morning (feels like a week ago) there was a text from Brian around 3:30AM. (I had mentioned to him that I wasn't sleeping well and if he was up in the middle of the night, he could reach out.) I woke up around 6, saw the text, and we had a call. B was very freaked out. The "gurgling sounds" while breathing at night had gotten much worse. B was the primary caretaker (in his 20's!) when his mom passed from Ovarian cancer at a young age. She didn't want anyone else in the room but him. He said this was the same thing that happened with her before she passed.

I told him he can't have this on his head - possibly making the "wrong" decision in the middle of the night, trying to handle this by himself. He said Dad was mostly sleeping, I said but what happens when he isn't? What if something happens and he's in sudden pain and looking at B for help? I didn't want him to have to live with that. I found the number for Hospice and said please call them, they will know what to do, they will make him more comfortable - and they will tell you if they are not needed.

So hospice and one brother came, and they agreed the best plan was to deactivate the pacemaker and let whatever happens naturally unfold. He has a DNR. He wants to go. That was supposed to happen last night, we were waiting for the magnet (required for that procedure) to be hand delivered - and we didn't realize they had just left it in the mailbox. By the time we found it, the night nurse was there and she didn't know how to do that. The brother went home in the afternoon.

The wrinkle: they had put in a catheter the day before. He was still having issues and he pulled on it, which led to a lot of bleeding - and ever since, a lot of pain, which leads to more pulling. Even with morphine, this man is in pain, uncomfortable, and nothing can be done with it until we can get a doctor out, or it could get much worse.

So even on morphine, he will sleep for 3 to 5 minutes at a time, and then with slurred speech from the stroke cry out, "help me help me HELP ME! BRIAN!" (I'm amazed how loud he can be!) But there's nothing to do. Brian ends up reprimanding him like he's a child to stop messing with the catheter. It's 100% awful to hear this, to see it, every 5 minutes over and over, with the nurse right there. The stepmother is not in her right mind and gets in the way. I left about 1AM and actually went to one of my stores to drop off some merch I meant to bring earlier in the day. I got to bed around 4.

The estranged brother is not coming. His choice. The brother who was here yesterday is coming back tomorrow. (***.) Not sure about NC brother. Brian is basically alone with this, and it's not just babysitting, it's torture. I am frantically trying to finish up our taxes due in 4 days (biz taxes are complicated!) but I am on call for when they are going to do the pacemaker procedure. I don't want Brian to be by himself in case he passes right away. He got choked up telling me this morning that he was telling the closer brother: "I listened to Mom drowning, I don't wan't to do it again with Dad." omg.

And I just got the pacemaker text. Heading out.
I'm so so sorry. But thank you for not letting him be alone with that. My mom had that rattling breath thing, too...I was 25 when she passed. It was awful. And hospice had told us that sometimes people hang on for the family and that you need to give them permission to go. So when it got bad, we called my brother to come back, as he had gone to the hotel to get some sleep, and when he got there, I told her it was ok to go and she went. As soon as I said it, she took her last breath. I can't imagine being alone for that....that must have been so hard on Brian with his mom. I'm glad you can be there for him with his dad.
 

donaldtoo

Well-Known Member
I am at the In-Law’s. The last few days have been so up and down, but tonight they are turning off Dad’s pacemaker. They estimate he may live 48-72 hours after that, but who knows.

He gave me a big, groggy “hey!” when he realized I was here.

Did not expect this just yet.

We are trying to get the last estranged brother down from Melbourne tonight vs. tomorrow. I have to go to work for a bit and then try to tidy up the house for them.

So very sad to hear this news. I thought he was doing better. Sincerest prayers for him and all of y’all.
 

figmentfan423

Well-Known Member
Had to switch to the computer to respond lol. I started to reference this in my TR, but that felt really weird.

We thought he was doing better as well. In the rehab facility, he participated more in the rehab than he did at the hospital. He was still easily agitated (we figured out certain meds seemed to make that worse) and panicked/stressed a lot. One brother flew down from NC and decided "we have to get him out of here." That was exactly what the Dr. warned Brian against doing. But they got him out on Tuesday. He could walk a certain distance and had some energy. Brian "moved back into" the house at least for the transition, but we thought he would end up staying there long term, even for one shift per day, alternating with a nurse. But there was no nurse yet except for a quick visit per day.

He has had congestive heart failure for a few years, has oxygen tanks, etc. I don't know whether he was weakened by the stroke and other recent issues, but simultaneously, that has worsened. When I woke up yesterday morning (feels like a week ago) there was a text from Brian around 3:30AM. (I had mentioned to him that I wasn't sleeping well and if he was up in the middle of the night, he could reach out.) I woke up around 6, saw the text, and we had a call. B was very freaked out. The "gurgling sounds" while breathing at night had gotten much worse. B was the primary caretaker (in his 20's!) when his mom passed from Ovarian cancer at a young age. She didn't want anyone else in the room but him. He said this was the same thing that happened with her before she passed.

I told him he can't have this on his head - possibly making the "wrong" decision in the middle of the night, trying to handle this by himself. He said Dad was mostly sleeping, I said but what happens when he isn't? What if something happens and he's in sudden pain and looking at B for help? I didn't want him to have to live with that. I found the number for Hospice and said please call them, they will know what to do, they will make him more comfortable - and they will tell you if they are not needed.

So hospice and one brother came, and they agreed the best plan was to deactivate the pacemaker and let whatever happens naturally unfold. He has a DNR. He wants to go. That was supposed to happen last night, we were waiting for the magnet (required for that procedure) to be hand delivered - and we didn't realize they had just left it in the mailbox. By the time we found it, the night nurse was there and she didn't know how to do that. The brother went home in the afternoon.

The wrinkle: they had put in a catheter the day before. He was still having issues and he pulled on it, which led to a lot of bleeding - and ever since, a lot of pain, which leads to more pulling. Even with morphine, this man is in pain, uncomfortable, and nothing can be done with it until we can get a doctor out, or it could get much worse.

So even on morphine, he will sleep for 3 to 5 minutes at a time, and then with slurred speech from the stroke cry out, "help me help me HELP ME! BRIAN!" (I'm amazed how loud he can be!) But there's nothing to do. Brian ends up reprimanding him like he's a child to stop messing with the catheter. It's 100% awful to hear this, to see it, every 5 minutes over and over, with the nurse right there. The stepmother is not in her right mind and gets in the way. I left about 1AM and actually went to one of my stores to drop off some merch I meant to bring earlier in the day. I got to bed around 4.

The estranged brother is not coming. His choice. The brother who was here yesterday is coming back tomorrow. (***.) Not sure about NC brother. Brian is basically alone with this, and it's not just babysitting, it's torture. I am frantically trying to finish up our taxes due in 4 days (biz taxes are complicated!) but I am on call for when they are going to do the pacemaker procedure. I don't want Brian to be by himself in case he passes right away. He got choked up telling me this morning that he was telling the closer brother: "I listened to Mom drowning, I don't wan't to do it again with Dad." omg.

And I just got the pacemaker text. Heading out.
I'm so very sorry you and B are going through this without the support you need. {{HUGS}}, prayers and virtual support
 

donaldtoo

Well-Known Member
That is amazing!

Thank you so very much...!!! :)
I love to do those old school sketches, and most clients really prefer that initial presentation...it takes a bit longer than a CAD presentation, but, I think the more “organic” outcome is worth it...!!! ;)
We had a new-hire come in on this last Monday, and I was in the middle of an old school sketch when our office assistant brought her around to introduce us...she said they don’t teach that stuff anymore...damn, I’m old...!!!!!!!!!!! :hilarious::joyfull::hilarious:
 

donaldtoo

Well-Known Member
Before my father passed away he researched the family tree and traced his side of the family back to gggg grandfather who fought in the Revolution --rebel side. Mothers side are recent arrivals from Germany turn of the century

All of my relatives came through the port of Galveston around the turn of the century (1900 ;)).
However, DWifey can trace her relatives in the States back to the Revolutionary War, and before.
 

MinnieM123

Well-Known Member
Had to switch to the computer to respond lol. I started to reference this in my TR, but that felt really weird.

We thought he was doing better as well. In the rehab facility, he participated more in the rehab than he did at the hospital. He was still easily agitated (we figured out certain meds seemed to make that worse) and panicked/stressed a lot. One brother flew down from NC and decided "we have to get him out of here." That was exactly what the Dr. warned Brian against doing. But they got him out on Tuesday. He could walk a certain distance and had some energy. Brian "moved back into" the house at least for the transition, but we thought he would end up staying there long term, even for one shift per day, alternating with a nurse. But there was no nurse yet except for a quick visit per day.

He has had congestive heart failure for a few years, has oxygen tanks, etc. I don't know whether he was weakened by the stroke and other recent issues, but simultaneously, that has worsened. When I woke up yesterday morning (feels like a week ago) there was a text from Brian around 3:30AM. (I had mentioned to him that I wasn't sleeping well and if he was up in the middle of the night, he could reach out.) I woke up around 6, saw the text, and we had a call. B was very freaked out. The "gurgling sounds" while breathing at night had gotten much worse. B was the primary caretaker (in his 20's!) when his mom passed from Ovarian cancer at a young age. She didn't want anyone else in the room but him. He said this was the same thing that happened with her before she passed.

I told him he can't have this on his head - possibly making the "wrong" decision in the middle of the night, trying to handle this by himself. He said Dad was mostly sleeping, I said but what happens when he isn't? What if something happens and he's in sudden pain and looking at B for help? I didn't want him to have to live with that. I found the number for Hospice and said please call them, they will know what to do, they will make him more comfortable - and they will tell you if they are not needed.

So hospice and one brother came, and they agreed the best plan was to deactivate the pacemaker and let whatever happens naturally unfold. He has a DNR. He wants to go. That was supposed to happen last night, we were waiting for the magnet (required for that procedure) to be hand delivered - and we didn't realize they had just left it in the mailbox. By the time we found it, the night nurse was there and she didn't know how to do that. The brother went home in the afternoon.

The wrinkle: they had put in a catheter the day before. He was still having issues and he pulled on it, which led to a lot of bleeding - and ever since, a lot of pain, which leads to more pulling. Even with morphine, this man is in pain, uncomfortable, and nothing can be done with it until we can get a doctor out, or it could get much worse.

So even on morphine, he will sleep for 3 to 5 minutes at a time, and then with slurred speech from the stroke cry out, "help me help me HELP ME! BRIAN!" (I'm amazed how loud he can be!) But there's nothing to do. Brian ends up reprimanding him like he's a child to stop messing with the catheter. It's 100% awful to hear this, to see it, every 5 minutes over and over, with the nurse right there. The stepmother is not in her right mind and gets in the way. I left about 1AM and actually went to one of my stores to drop off some merch I meant to bring earlier in the day. I got to bed around 4.

The estranged brother is not coming. His choice. The brother who was here yesterday is coming back tomorrow. (***.) Not sure about NC brother. Brian is basically alone with this, and it's not just babysitting, it's torture. I am frantically trying to finish up our taxes due in 4 days (biz taxes are complicated!) but I am on call for when they are going to do the pacemaker procedure. I don't want Brian to be by himself in case he passes right away. He got choked up telling me this morning that he was telling the closer brother: "I listened to Mom drowning, I don't wan't to do it again with Dad." omg.

And I just got the pacemaker text. Heading out.

This is a rough time for all of you. Come here for a stress-break whenever you need to. We're all with you.
 

donaldtoo

Well-Known Member
I had the seasonal flu shot in early September with no reaction and had my second shingles shot last Thursday, also with no reaction. I can't remember ever having any negative reaction to any shot I ever got. I have been extremely fortunate because to the best of my knowledge the only thing I ever had a reaction to was a deer fly bite and that was only if it scratched it. After 72 years I can only think that I just don't have any allergies. One thing I do have and have for as long as anyone ever tested me is high white blood cells. They have gone crazy trying to figure out why. They seem to get all bent out of shape because they are sure I have an infection someplace, but they are never able to find it. One would think that after about 45 years they would give up on it. In all fairness they do mention it to me even last week, but then finished the sentence with "but your count is always elevated. So that must be your norm." Personally, not being a doctor and not even playing one on TV, I think that is why I have so few colds and maybe why my allergy score is so low. Those little white blood cells blocking the pathway.

Yea, I’m probably jinxing myself, but, I can’t even remember the last time I was”sick” with other than somethin’ I did to myself...!!!!! :hilarious:
I, honestly, can’t remember the last time I had any kinda’ bug, and I’ve never been allergic to anything that I know of...I’ll take it...!!! :)
 

donaldtoo

Well-Known Member
@ajrwdwgirl , just curious -- is hubs back to having services (with congregation) inside his church, or are the services being filmed only, so that people can watch from home? Churches have been open here for some months with controlled headcounts (per the state's rules), and limited spacing & face masks for people. Yet, I'm still watching on TV only, at this point.

Yep, we’re not attending yet again, either, as we feel it’s still too risky.
Along with the all the fellowship, etc., I’ve really missed posting Emmy’s church outfits over the last several months.
 

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