I think it’s hostile at this point.
My family has issues. Always has. You know how some families are kinda messed up but they’ll do anything for each other? That’s not us. My mother has let me down at so many big, important moments, I don’t know why I ever expected any different.
My Grandma was my champion. She was always on my side. She always made me feel better when my mother acted nuts. She can’t do that anymore. I’m so grateful for her, and for having her around so long. Without her, I would probably have ended up a total disaster. By rights, I should have been. She was my stability, my grounding, my self-confidence, and my confirmation that I lived in a messed up house - and that wasn’t my fault.
If you go by the stages of grief - and I was as prepared for this as I could have been - my “denial” phase lasted until my head hit the pillow Sunday night, and I broke down. For the last 24 hours, it’s been furious anger - mostly because of my family. (And yes, I blame our leaders for this situation in the first place.)
But I can’t think of anything to say to my mother or my brother right now that would not be cruel and cause irreparable harm. I honestly don’t want to put anymore on my mother as she is burying her mother. But excluding me for BS reasons is beyond the pale.
I’m not going to ask them to transmit it. And I’m scheduled at work at that hour.
Thanks for all your messages. We’re not dealing with normal family dynamics here. I hope they don’t even text me. All I can think of to say back is “no forgiveness.” That won’t do well.
) down both main highways....!!! 
