Am i crazy to breakup with someone over WDW? Advice PLease!!!

M

majorrfb

Member
I totally agree!

C&D said:
You seem to be using 'Disney' as the example but I believe there is much deeper things wrong with this relationship. And the ultimate question, irregardless of example, are you better with or without each other?
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Lasting relationships are give and take by both partners. Your significant other appears to be totally one sided and somewhat selfish. So, as another
responder said, are you better off with or without this person. She is not looking good to this outsider. I have been married for 33 years and one reason for this is-we respect each other and our individual desires.
 
Nemo14

Nemo14

Well-Known Member
Personally I think you're crazy for asking a bunch of strangers on the web a question that ultimately only you can answer. Only you know your relationship, and only you know how much you're willing to tolerate. Look in the mirror - the answer is right there! :kiss:
 
TakeMeThere81

TakeMeThere81

Well-Known Member
Wilt Dasney said:
My snap analysis:

You would be crazy to break up with someone because she dislikes Disney.

You would not be crazy to break up with someone because she demeans and belittles your passions, and refuses to spend time with you unless it's entirely on her terms.

In an ideal relationship, you'd agree to spend less time and money traveling to Disney, and she'd agree to bite the bullet and come along on those less frequent occasions when you did go.
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Wilt Dasney says it well.

We have an example as well...DH is extremely outdoorsy, I am moderately outdoorsy. I LOVE Disney, DH likes Disney. I'm a runner, DH a swimmer. He loves history and Discovery channel, I like The Office. Somewhere in there, we decided that we love each other more than we love the other "stuff" and so we share each other's passions or even just likes in order to be a part of the other person. DH is taking me to Disney for our anniversary, not because it's what HE wants to do, but because he loves the look on my face when he "gets it right" with a gift or experience. And that happiness that he's caused is the best thing in life.

Your GF should not be alienating you as you go do something you love, she should be at least humoring you to share it together.

Anyway, I don't think I've said anything new, but I hope it helped anyway!
 
Victoria

Victoria

Not old, just vintage.
Not crazy in the least. If NDL can't appreciate and accept something that is so important to you, then she isn't worth your time. Relationships require give and take. She doesn't seem to be aware of this. Everyone that I know that is in a lasting, healthy relationship has to put up with at least one hobby/activity/etc. that they dislike. It is just how things work. My BF doesn't completely comprehend my Disney obsession but I don't completely understand how he can spend so many hours of his life killing things on his Xbox. I go to Disney for a long weekend and hang out with people who understand me, he stays home and kills things for 4 days straight with no interruptions. Everyone wins. :lol:
 
zooey

zooey

Well-Known Member
I'm jumping in late and haven't read the rest of the thread, but I'd dump her.
Not so much because she doesn't like Disney, but because of her attitude about it. You're not allowed to talk about the theme parks? What? I'd never stand for that and you shouldn't either.
 
M

Mrs.Toad

Well-Known Member
Dude,

I really wish you all the best and I hope everything works out. I hope they come around and you guys have a wonderful time.

But think it through...

If you guys decided to have children, would it still be 'No?"

And most importantly...

If we are talking... Stu's girlfiend from "The Hangover." Run and get the heck out of that relationship....now!
 
mousebymarriage

mousebymarriage

Active Member
Wilt Dasney said:
My snap analysis:

You would be crazy to break up with someone because she dislikes Disney.

You would not be crazy to break up with someone because she demeans and belittles your passions, and refuses to spend time with you unless it's entirely on her terms.

In an ideal relationship, you'd agree to spend less time and money traveling to Disney, and she'd agree to bite the bullet and come along on those less frequent occasions when you did go.
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I agree!

As you can see by my screen name I was not born a Disney fan, my love of Disney was something that kind of rubbed off on me. Let me explain:

My first trip to Disney I was 7 years old and honestly I remember very little of it. My second trip was a school trip in High school, we had a blast but, I think it was being on vacation with a bunch of my friends and no parents that was the cause of such great memories.

Fast forward a couple of years later when DH and I were dating. I knew his family (actually, DH, his brother and father...his mom was not a big fan but, she went because the guys loved it so much) were HUGE Disney fans, DH had gone to Disney World almost every year since it opened...his dad was obsessed. So, we all went to Disney together (DH and I were dating a little over a year), that trip was horrible! DH's father was a PITA and drove me absolutely crazy. The man controlled every aspect of the trip, pouted and had a hissy fit if anyone wanted to stray from "the plan", and insisted that we all remain together 24/7. I thought I was going to kill him! After that trip I hated Disney, not that I cared much about it before but, I didn't hate it until that trip.
Well, eventually DH and I got married and he still loved Disney so we took a long weekend trip alone about 6 months after we were married. After that trip I began to feel Disney wasn't too bad. Then DD was born and DH wanted to take her, so we went again and I started to really appreciate all that Disney has to offer. Eventually, after many trips, my love for Disney began and now, I think I look forward to our annual trips as much as DH and our kids are total Disney freaks.

My point is, that I never expected DH to give up his love for Disney even when I hated it. He loved Disney and I loved him so I went on the trips to make him happy. I never would have forbidden him to speak about Disney and I never would have belittled him because he loved it so much. I actually love the look on his face when he discusses Disney and the excitement in his eyes when he plans the trips. Being in a relationship means you have to compromise sometimes and you just may be surprised at what you find a passion for when you open your mind and your heart.
 
loveofamouse

loveofamouse

Well-Known Member
I am married to a NDL. That said, I think that that's not the only problem there. Yes, you grew up with disney. She did not. Are you even entertaining vacations elsewhere? Give/take. My husband hates theme parks. That said, he at least goes with me. Although he has his sour moments, he's not a complete @ss about it. If he planned a vacay elsewhere, I would go. We've done cruises and whatnot. I;ve even gone camping with him. I also don't think it's fair to say she's not "allowing" or putting up with it. She's been with you for a couple of years now, right? She hasn't gone running screaming to the streets or put you on medication. She is tolerating it. That said, it doesn't mean she HAS to listen to you talk disney 24/7. She is allowed to say "not right now." I don't talk disney all day to my husband. He doesn't talk hunting to me 24/7. Sometimes, he wants to talk hunting or fishing, but I don't feel like listening. I simply tell him "not right now. I'm not in the mood" or "later"

What are you giving to her?
 
MaryJaneP

MaryJaneP

Well-Known Member
I'll join the "end it" crowd. Not because it involves Disney, but agree with others that it might be symptomatic of other problems. It may be Disney now, but what is the next subject she will deny to you and belittle you about? Is that how co-equal partners treat each other? Not in my book.
 
wild01ride

wild01ride

Well-Known Member
Everyone has valid points about relationships being give and take, yada, yada....
But if Disney is such a big, and moreso, IMPORTANT part of your life, then it absolutely needs to be a big factor in your decision to continue with such a relationship.

As a "God-fearing man", I hesitate to compare love of Disney to religion, but honestly, in my life, I value my love of Disney as something of a dedication similar (emphasis, similar) to religion.
If it's something that's that important, it's not something you can compromise on. Again, I understand and agree with give-and-take. But give-and-take is something you need to do in day-to-day things, NOT in the fundamentals of what is important to you.

I have absolutely pledged to myself that I literally could never spend my life with someone who wasn't interested in going to WDW (or DL, for that matter). Fortunately for me, an incredible person entered my life five years ago who was an amazing woman who also had never been to WDW.
As it turns out, she not only enjoyed herself immensly after going with me for her first time, but over the course of the past five years, she's turned into her own Disney nut who gives me a run for my money with history, knowledge, etc.

Of course, it's not absolutely necessary that someone you find turns into a complete Disney "nut", but I think it is necessary for you, as someone who is particularly fond if Disney, that the person you decide to spend your life with is not only "accepting" of your fondness, but that they share some sense of the Magic with you.
I, like you said, found it as a necessity that my soulmate would need to be able to share Magic in her heart with me on our trips.

Regardless of any advice, etc., the bottom line is you need to follow your heart in any relationship about what your core and fundamental values are.
We all know inside what we can and cannot sacrifice in the spirit of happiness.

My advice: don't compromise your passion for the Magic! :wave:
 
inluvwithbeast

inluvwithbeast

New Member
SleepingMonk said:
Need pics to call this one.

If she's a ten and you're a two....tough it out cowboy.

:D
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Bahahahaha.

On a serious note, I agree with a lot of what was said. My bf tolerates my love of WDW. In fact, when I actually explained why one day, he got all quiet then asked me why I hadn't told him how much it meant to me before. After that he really has tried to get involved and we plan out trips we could take. He was even excited when my father invited both of us to their next trip for my younger brother's graduation. My bf loves all things Honda. He has never owned another car. I don't get it but I try. I go out cruising with him, to car shows, and I've even tried to learn how to swap a motor. All because it's important to him. It's important to at least respect and recognize your partner's passions and interests.
 
MysticOrient

MysticOrient

Member
This may have been mentioned before, but I didn't read through all the posts; so if I repeat, I apologize.

I think Dr. Freud would say this is less about "Disney" and more about the underlying "real" issue. To me, the real issue is the fact that you're not even allowed to talk about it and then when you do, you are belittled and hushed up. That, to me, speaks more than anything about what the subject matter is.

My hubby and I joke that I practically had "... and you shall vacation to Disney every year..." added into our vows 17 years ago! (HA! We didn't although hindsight being what it is....) He likes Disney (we, too, are DVC owners) but isn't as "obsessed" as I am. He lets me drone on and on about it, and I, equally, let him talk about his music passions. Again, I enjoy music but he's into it in a different level than I am.

So back to my point, it's about give-and-take (as someone else mentioned). If she's only taking and not giving, then THAT'S the reason you should be counting your losses.

Again, less about Disney itself and more about the fact that -- from what I've read here -- there seems to be a little one-sidedness going on.

Just my 2-cents. Good luck!

(Oh, and YES! RIP Disney Inside Out!!! That's when Disney Channel was awesome!)
 
Scuttle

Scuttle

Well-Known Member
BawanaBrandon said:
Here is the background:

I was raised on all things Disney, matter of fact I was brought home from the hospital in a Disneyland Blanket. Every year growing up it was either trips to Disneyland or WDW, and when we weren’t in the parks, we spent our time either planning the next trip, watching TV specials (RIP Inside Out), or even to get a little of the Disney fix, we would pile in the car and head down to the nearest Disney store. Matter of fact, we never went anywhere on vaca besides there, it was just assumed that’s where we would be going.

Now as an adult, and a DVC owner, I try and make it down to the world at least 2 to 3 times a year, with either my family or just solo. It’s were I feel at home. The place I love to be.

And now my choice...

I’ve been with NDL( Non Disney Lover) for two years now, and well, let’s just say she hates all things that have to do with Disney, and even mentioning going to the parks for a vacation is simply not allowed. Every time I leave to go on a trip alone, its hassle and more hassle about how dumb it is that I love this (as she likes to call it) "theme park" so much. And the sad part is I have to go alone, and I don’t get to share the smiles, and the laughs, the food, the dole whips, the corny jokes, parades, fireworks, the romance of this amazing place, and most importantly, I don’t get to share the place I love with someone that I love:(

We have had every discussion in the book about what my reasons are for this love, and desire to go to wdw are. And well there not her memories, so she doesn’t really understand.

Maybe I’m crazy but, this effects me extremely, and it really puts doubts in my mind about her. Please tell me if I’m being crazy for feeling this way? Is this a dumb reason? Any advice would help.

Wishing Everyone the Best:)

BawanaBrandon



Please help.
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How in the hell does someone not want to go to WDW I don't get it
 

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