I did not want to comment on your original topic because I felt that it was something beyond the scope of a stranger on the internet, but I feel that I can now offer help for the "big event" tonight. I now submit to you the rsoxguy list of convenient, yet tender, break-up lines.
- It’s not that I find you unattractive; it’s just your personality that I find distasteful.
- I just can’t imagine what our children would look like with your family’s gene pool.
- It’s all my fault; I have set my personal standards too high.
- You’re a lovely person, and I would otherwise not be breaking up with you, were it not for your table manners.
- We'll always have Disney World. Oh wait, that was with someone else; never mind.
No need to thank me, I'm just here to be a source of help to those in need. I wish you the best, and remember to
make sure that she doesn't have access to sharp instruments this evening.