The Chit Chat Chit Chat Thread

Songbird76

Well-Known Member
That’s great that your kids enjoy activities! I love so much about your post. :)

I think the thing about “let them be kids” is sometimes misunderstood, especially by adults... on all spectrums of non competitive or competitive.. I’ll say something that relates to Rista’s post, so I’ll continue below...



The one positive thing about the drama of the last week, is that the kids haven’t been involved.. of course the decisions do affect them, but the stress has mostly been on the parents.

I have some different thoughts on the ‘let them be kids’ thing, or ‘they’re giving up too much free time’.. here’s an example..

In first grade, T was on his school’s soccer team. Consisting of 1st and 2nd graders.. they had a great coach and a lot of talented kids... the talented 2nd graders inadvertently pushed the 1st graders to do better.. the team went undefeated in their league, and we went to the City tournament.. made it to the final.. and then lost in QUADRUPLE OVERTIME!! At that age they don’t do shoot outs, they take players off the field.. so by the 4th overtime- it was down to 2v2, no goalkeepers.

It was a cold morning, raining, muddy, tons of fog.. but these little boys played their hearts out. One tripped in a puddle when dribbling up the field.. the other player on opposing team got the ball.. and without a goalie.. that was it. He scored. We lost.
The boy knelt of the field crying.. the whole team ran up and comforted him and each other, lots of tears.. then they got up and shook hands with the team who won.
That was T’s first experience with a huge sports disappointment. It was my first experience with it as a mother. I knew how bad he wanted to win.

That same day we had our first indoor game.. went undefeated that season.. and then several parents decided to put their kids in technical training with a club, and tryout in June. They asked me if I was going to do it.. my reply “No, not at this age. I don’t want 8am Sunday training sessions.”

So, months go by, then we go to the next year for school.. now T is a 2nd grader, excited for the soccer season, proud and confident as one of the older leadership roles now.
So what happens? He gets put on a team with a coach who’s main motto was “they’re kids. It’s just about fun, please tell your sons that I don’t care about winning, just fun.” That very first email was odd.. but I tried to think positive. But here’s what happened-
They didn’t learn anything.. she cancelled practice on a regular basis for the most stupid reasons.. there were only 3 players on the team who actually cared about being there.
All kids don’t need to be the best.. but a coach should demand effort- and you can do that while having fun!!
T cried after almost every game.
Kids would be on the field playing in dirt, or shirts over their heads, or a goal keeper turning his back every time someone took a shot. We lost continuously, horribly. It was painful to watch.. NOT because we lost, but because most of the boys didn’t care, and the coach didn’t discourage that.

Another parent recommended that T tryout for a club now, and I know one of the club coaches from my childhood. T attended one of his practices just for an evaluation (T didn’t know that, thought he was just going to a practice)... after it was over -

T ran to car and said “Oh my gosh Mom.. that was so much FUN! Those kids love soccer as much as I do!! Am I on this team now?”
I explained the commitment to him, that we would have to give up a lot of outings, and that he would have to attend tryouts.. his response-
“Yes! I want to tryout. I want to be on this team!”

So obviously he tried out and made the team.,
When these kids get to practice they aren’t playing in the dirt or throwing water at each other. They immediately start passing or playing ‘monkey in the middle’ or 1v1s, etc. without a parent or coach telling them to do that.. and they’re having FUN the whole time. They love a sport and they enjoy having kids around who also love it... so while it may appear that these kids are giving up their free time, they’re actually having a good time. When he’s at home he has a soccer ball and is shooting or juggling or setting up cones and trying drills.. it’s something he loves.. a hobby. If it it ever stopped being something he loved, then there wouldn’t be any reason to play in a competitive league.. but a lot of kids do love the competition.

I think as adults.. there’s a fine line.. and that’s what’s been lost. Some adults forget about the “fun”, some adults forget about the “competition”... but it’s entirely possible to have both. Unfortunately, there’s a lot of coaches and parents who go to one extreme or the other.
And I agree with all of that. That situation with the "fun" coach wasn't actually fun. That was wasting time. He could have had more fun doing something on his own, correct? So that's where you need the balance. And even in a competitive league, if there's so much pressure to win and to be the best or you'll lose your spot....is that fun? I think that's the line. Of COURSE you want each kid to do their personal best...but it doesn't need to be so competitive at this age...it should be about developing skills and learning the game. And if that means you lose a couple of games, they learn something from that, too. And from what I've seen personally back when I was in school, a lot of parents put just as much pressure on the kids as the coaches. They want their kid to be the star and live vicariously through them. But to me, it should be more about what each kid gets out of it, even if they don't win. As long as they get something out of it, that's a win.
 

MySmallWorldof4

Well-Known Member
Here’s a good question to my fellow Potter maniacs. For those that haven’t read the books or seen the film I will put a spoiler alert.
In GoF when Cedric was killed , Wormtail did it, but when Harry and Voldemort’s wand battled, Cedric came out during the priori incantatum. So did Wormtail use Voldemort’s wand? Also everyone said Voldemort killed Cedric. So was it because it was Voldemort’s order that made it like Voldemort killed him? Your opinion?
 

Songbird76

Well-Known Member
Good luck and oh my gosh I totally remember you mentioning the Christmas party issue last year. I cannot believe another year has just gone by again!
We have tickets reserved for Sunday morning. It's insane....every showing is almost completely booked. There are like, 10 a day and the best seats we could get were like 3rd row from the back, and 3 from the end. Question though....this always puzzled me, and I wonder if it's still the same, but in the US, everyone wanted the seats up front. The back was always more empty...but over here, it's the opposite. The seats in the back are considered the best, so those are the first ones sold. The middle seats fill up back to front, and then people start filling in the sides from the back. Do people in the US still prefer the front?
 

Songbird76

Well-Known Member
We went to Sky Zone during their homeschool hours and were the only ones there. Youngest did her first back handspring on her own. Then she proceeded to do her first round-off back hansdpring. Sent the video to her coach. She was thrilled. She’s been working at it for months.
That's fantastic! Is it the same on the trampolines as the spring floor? Do they use spring floors?
 

Songbird76

Well-Known Member
Never walked in one. Never had the desire.
I haven't either, but I think I read something about them not making anything but tiny sizes because they don't want "ugly" people to wear their clothes. Their line is only for the super cool. Well...that means you won't get any of MY money. MY money is only for super cool businesses that don't discriminate.
 

Songbird76

Well-Known Member
Here’s a good question to my fellow Potter maniacs. For those that haven’t read the books or seen the film I will put a spoiler alert.
In GoF when Cedric was killed , Wormtail did it, but when Harry and Voldemort’s wand battled, Cedric came out during the priori incantatum. So did Wormtail use Voldemort’s wand? Also everyone said Voldemort killed Cedric. So was it because it was Voldemort’s order that made it like Voldemort killed him? Your opinion?
Yes, I'm pretty sure it was Voldemort's wand, because in PoA, they use expelliarmus and have all the wands, including Wormtail's, I believe. Or he didn't have one. The movie is slightly different because he needed a wand to make the transformation, but in the book, you don't...Sirius was able to escape Azkaban by turning into a dog, even though he had no wand. So....I believe that in the book version, Peter has no wand, and therefore uses Voldemort's because Voldy has no body with which to hold a wand. And since Voldemort couldn't use a wand, Wormtail killed Cedric on his orders, because he couldn't do it himself. That's my take on it.
 

21stamps

Well-Known Member
And I agree with all of that. That situation with the "fun" coach wasn't actually fun. That was wasting time. He could have had more fun doing something on his own, correct? So that's where you need the balance. And even in a competitive league, if there's so much pressure to win and to be the best or you'll lose your spot....is that fun? I think that's the line. Of COURSE you want each kid to do their personal best...but it doesn't need to be so competitive at this age...it should be about developing skills and learning the game. And if that means you lose a couple of games, they learn something from that, too. And from what I've seen personally back when I was in school, a lot of parents put just as much pressure on the kids as the coaches. They want their kid to be the star and live vicariously through them. But to me, it should be more about what each kid gets out of it, even if they don't win. As long as they get something out of it, that's a win.

I completely agree.

My biggest problem with competitive soccer is the lack of communication.. it’s all clubs, not just our’s, but last June when I received the “Your son is on a waiting list, we contact you shortly” email.. I thought it meant that he was waitlisted to make a team at all. I knew he didn’t have a great performance at tryouts. I hadn’t heard from his coach, the email didn’t elaborate.. and T ended up throwing his soccer ball in the trash can (which I retrieved). It was a TOUGH few days. I then found out that he was waitlisted while they were deciding between 1 of 2 teams. BUT, I found that out thru a coach that I know.. not official club communication.

Why would they put us or anyone else thru that? Why do clubs today make kids try out every year? It doesn’t make sense to me. You see the kids ALL SEASON.. you know if they should be there or not.. If they shouldn’t be, then pull the parents aside. That’s how it was when I was a kid! I don’t know when it changed or why, but it has added an entirely new level of pressure that doesn’t need to be there... at all.

As far as parents go, you’re totally correct. I do know that clubs and schools have rules against bad parental behavior.. they also encourage us to be positive after and before games, and don’t nitpick performance right after a game. And of course, don’t coach from the sidelines, only give positive feedback during a match. I’ve seen plenty of bad behavior though.. and I admit that I have yelled at T a few times during a game. Especially when I’m coaching him 🤣.. however, I try to always give a positive too.. my ‘coaching from the sideline’ comments are normally along the lines of “What position are you playing?”... but our last game I did say, when he was near the sidelines by me- “T, he’s not your running partner!” He wasn’t happy with that comment. But, he did finally pick up the pace and cut off the kid, after I said that.
So, I’m not going to pretend that I’m immune from ever correcting my kid on the field.. I just try to be quiet and only in extreme scenarios. I’ll also admit that I can’t wait until Sunday, when I’m free to correct him on the field all season. 😂 ;)

With my team, of course I want to win.. but I want the kids to give 100% and have fun doing it, while showing improvement and learning... that’s the most important thing to me.
 

StarWarsGirl

Well-Known Member
I haven't either, but I think I read something about them not making anything but tiny sizes because they don't want "ugly" people to wear their clothes. Their line is only for the super cool. Well...that means you won't get any of MY money. MY money is only for super cool businesses that don't discriminate.
Well, I'm not a tiny size by any means, but I'm fabulous, so that's their loss.
 

21stamps

Well-Known Member
I haven't either, but I think I read something about them not making anything but tiny sizes because they don't want "ugly" people to wear their clothes. Their line is only for the super cool. Well...that means you won't get any of MY money. MY money is only for super cool businesses that don't discriminate.

I never heard that before! I have no idea if Abercrombie is still popular with high school/college kids.. but I used to like their Jean skirts and shirts... to me, Abercrombie, Hollister, and American Eagle are basically all the same. I think my older niece and nephew were more into Hollister.
 

21stamps

Well-Known Member
I'll guarantee you that the one I go to does not do that anymore. That was 27 years ago.

So, we were at a Cracker Barrell on Sunday night, right in the entryway was a sign.. it said “Cracker Barrell welcomes all people of all colors, LGTB, etc” (cant remember the exact wording). At the end of the sign was a phone number to call if you were mistreated.

I’ve never seen that sign before and thought it was odd. However, we had a 40 minute wait, so I’m normally not just aimlessly walking around the store, so maybe it’s been there for years and I’ve never noticed.

Either way, I wonder if it’s posted because of the letter that Buddy shared.. I had no idea about that policy in the 90s... and the sign now would make sense.
 

Cesar R M

Well-Known Member
Here’s a good question to my fellow Potter maniacs. For those that haven’t read the books or seen the film I will put a spoiler alert.
In GoF when Cedric was killed , Wormtail did it, but when Harry and Voldemort’s wand battled, Cedric came out during the priori incantatum. So did Wormtail use Voldemort’s wand? Also everyone said Voldemort killed Cedric. So was it because it was Voldemort’s order that made it like Voldemort killed him? Your opinion?
In my opinion is pretty simple.
Remember that:
  1. Voldemort thinks everything is about himself, he's a dark lord with a kardashian complex. Every victory of his subordinates, he takes the credit. All his fails he blames it on someone else.
  2. Voldemort most probably took credit of ALL the "planning" and therefore the kill.
  3. The Prior incantatum thing that made the wand spit echoes of people it killed, is related to the wand, not to the person. But also.. at same time.. both wands are connected with bits of each other (Voldemort and Harry Potter) which again causes the priori Incantatum.
 

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