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Trip Canned
- Thread starter demento57
- Start date
cmatt
Active Member
although my rant suggests the opposite... they DO certainly respect you... they will respect you even more if you confront them about it SENSIBLY and also in a logical manner and ask them what misconceived perceptions they have about you and what will happen on the holiday. Be open about it - show that you can stand on your own two feet!
Lets look at it this way:
Your in disney
Your with friends.
Probably dont do drugs or drink excessively. (In this sentence alone your far more sensible then I and im YOUR age!)
Your in a safe enviroment where the most dangerous bit is negotiating the luggage belt at the airport.
Your in an english speaking country (this shouldnt come into context really but is ideal if its your first holiday on your own)
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One Lil Spark
EPCOT Center Defender
I believe that he was trying to get all the details of the trip as possible so that he could the situation from the parent's perspective as best he could. Not that he, himself would expect or require that. :wave:
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I'm sorry to hear that. That's the age my now-husband and I were when we took our first trip. My parents adored him (still do) and they knew how much I loved The World. Within a year we were planning our wedding (which we paid for). To be honest, most of our friends got into more trouble within 3 hours of starting college than we did our entire trip *shrug* unless you count the pillaging done by the pirates in Adventureland.
I agree with a lot of what's been said- continue to be respectful towards her parents, and maybe the more they get to know you, the more comfortable they will be. Maybe you can spend some quality time and bond a little.
I agree with a lot of what's been said- continue to be respectful towards her parents, and maybe the more they get to know you, the more comfortable they will be. Maybe you can spend some quality time and bond a little.
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Glasgow
Well-Known Member
All I can say is be cool about it -- show how mature you are and don't under any circumstances act out negatively. I agree that you should both be able to make your own decisions, but just remember that the Mom has the last word - you can possibly persuade her to change her mind in the next 7 months. Good luck
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The Mom chiming in here.
The Daughter is 22, and has been out of the house (first college, now her own apt) for over 4 years.
Guess what? My house, my rules. Now, I'm not so strict that I would forbid her to go off with her bf, but I'm not permissive enough to let him sleep in the guest room with her, either. I think you've chosen someone whose parents are a little further down the strictness scale than I.
And trust me, you really don't want to enter marriage (if that's your eventual goal) with a black mark against you before you even start. There will be enough opportunities to anger your in-laws just planning the wedding, never mind after. :lol:
Again, ADULTS are not dependent upon their parents for housing or any other expenses. Until you can cut ALL financial ties to your parents, you're still a "child."
The Daughter is 22, and has been out of the house (first college, now her own apt) for over 4 years.
Guess what? My house, my rules. Now, I'm not so strict that I would forbid her to go off with her bf, but I'm not permissive enough to let him sleep in the guest room with her, either. I think you've chosen someone whose parents are a little further down the strictness scale than I.
And trust me, you really don't want to enter marriage (if that's your eventual goal) with a black mark against you before you even start. There will be enough opportunities to anger your in-laws just planning the wedding, never mind after. :lol:
Again, ADULTS are not dependent upon their parents for housing or any other expenses. Until you can cut ALL financial ties to your parents, you're still a "child."
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So not right
I am 31 now. When I was 25 my then boyfriend( now DH) and I went to Disney World. We were not married, nor were we engaged. My parents knew not to say anything becuase my brother went on a similiar trip with his girlfriend. I think sometimes parents have double standards.
Yes,I am a parent myself. I have a daughter. I think if she was dating a nice guy, especially if it had been three years and he was doing everything you are doing then I would have no reason to bother her about it, heck if he invited me then he would be a saint in my eyes!!I realy think they are being a little bit unreasonable. You have already proven yourself to them, what more do they want?
I am 31 now. When I was 25 my then boyfriend( now DH) and I went to Disney World. We were not married, nor were we engaged. My parents knew not to say anything becuase my brother went on a similiar trip with his girlfriend. I think sometimes parents have double standards.
Yes,I am a parent myself. I have a daughter. I think if she was dating a nice guy, especially if it had been three years and he was doing everything you are doing then I would have no reason to bother her about it, heck if he invited me then he would be a saint in my eyes!!I realy think they are being a little bit unreasonable. You have already proven yourself to them, what more do they want?
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angelfaerie52
New Member
I think it's uncalled for to say a parent is "bad" if they let their 20something year old child go to Disney World. I'm sure my own mother was nervous for me going away in the same way she was nervous for me going to college.
I feel like if you live at college, have an apartment, then it's not unreasonable to send your 20something to Disney if they are able to afford it on their own.
I'm 21 and I've been on a few trips with my boyfriend. I've also lived at college since I've been 18 and will be moving into an apartment in a week. It's called baby steps and I think my mother is more than just in allowing me to go away with a young man she can trust. Think of how many college freshmen go wild with drugs, booze, and ______... Most people are too tired for any of that at WDW.
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laalaa
New Member
Trip together
I really feel sorry for you!
Parents really do like changing their mind when to call the children adults.
I personally wouldnt put up with my parents interferring so much. My father was the same, i eventually just had to do the stuff he didnt want me to do anyway, and now he is so much more reasonable. I stayed over with my boyfriend when i was 16, i went on to spain on holiday when i was 17, i went to orlando with my bf when i was 22. If you let your parents treat you like a baby then they will think its ok to do so.
Where do you draw the line? Some people are saying they have the right to interfere because she lives at home. What if she continues to live at home until she is 30? Is it ok to interfere when your 30yr old daughter lives at home? No!
All the logical explanations i can think of for them not wanting her to go have been dismissed.
If they thought you were going to get ridiculously drunk and put yourself in danger (you dont drink)
If they are unhappy at you two sharing a room (different rooms)
If they think you are not mature enough (you seem pretty mature enough to me)
I personally would continue with the planning of the trip and see if they change their mind.
Is there anyway you could sit down and have a chat with them, ask them what the real reason is for not letting you go?
Hope you get it sorted out
I really feel sorry for you!
Parents really do like changing their mind when to call the children adults.
I personally wouldnt put up with my parents interferring so much. My father was the same, i eventually just had to do the stuff he didnt want me to do anyway, and now he is so much more reasonable. I stayed over with my boyfriend when i was 16, i went on to spain on holiday when i was 17, i went to orlando with my bf when i was 22. If you let your parents treat you like a baby then they will think its ok to do so.
Where do you draw the line? Some people are saying they have the right to interfere because she lives at home. What if she continues to live at home until she is 30? Is it ok to interfere when your 30yr old daughter lives at home? No!
All the logical explanations i can think of for them not wanting her to go have been dismissed.
If they thought you were going to get ridiculously drunk and put yourself in danger (you dont drink)
If they are unhappy at you two sharing a room (different rooms)
If they think you are not mature enough (you seem pretty mature enough to me)
I personally would continue with the planning of the trip and see if they change their mind.
Is there anyway you could sit down and have a chat with them, ask them what the real reason is for not letting you go?
Hope you get it sorted out
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angelfaerie52
New Member
I really appreciate your comment. I definitely would consider myself a "child," albeit a bit more financially independent. My mother would never let my boyfriend stay over in my room, she hates it when he has to stay, period (this usually only occurs during snow storms or if we go to a concert that gets out late).
But on the other hand, she does let me go on trips. She was never the parent who would pay for me to jaunt away to Cancun with my friends, but if I have the money and I'm with responsible people, she is ok with me going. It's good to let your child see the world and manage a project like a vacation. Just more prep for "adulthood!"
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Really?
Have your parents, or your gf's parents labeled you adult in other ways? Have they forced you to pay fair market rent? If not, do you pay your share of the property taxes, mortage payment, insurance, and maintenance costs? Do you have to buy all of your own clothes, groceries? Do you pay your share of utilities, including deposits? Do you pay for all of your own health and auto insurance? Do you pay all of your education costs?If you still live at home but can answer yes to all of the above questions, then you are certainly an independent adult and your parents should have no say in where and whom you spend the night.
If not, you're not really an independent adult, even if you're 60.
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My daughter travelled to Europe with a group (chaperoned) when she was 14. She's been to Spain three times and stayed with a host family...with a couple of sons who kept her out dancing all night. But I didn't know or approve it in advance! She spent a semester in India, and has gone to Cameroon and London. But she was either in a chaperoned group, or a college student.
Like most parents, I'm in "Don't ask, don't tell" mode. However, had she been living at home, things would be different. And now that she's completely on her own, I can only give advice.
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Honestly, it seems that they do things to prevent her from growing up. Like when she wanted to go out and get a job they made a big deal. She wanted to work more and move out, but they wouldn't let her! This all seems like yet another attempt to keep her young forever.
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How could they stop her from getting a job, working more, or moving out? My parents couldn't stop me at that age.
Unless she needed their help to do it.....
As others have said, an adult just does it...but unlike others have said, they do it politely. BTW, my mother didn't speak to me for months after I moved out (my father made the "as long as you're living under my roof speech" so I left) but finally came around.
They also did the "we're not going to come to your wedding" speech when my husband and I moved in together (at ages 29 and 24) but again, got over it.
So, if you really want to go on your trip, just do it, and accept the consequences...like an adult. :animwink:
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