Welp.
Lackluster.
Underwhelming.
Boring (wow, Iger was *apparently* right about something for once).
Bare-bones.
Huge stretches of nothing where lovable singing animals used to be.
The ride's storyline is typical of today's Imagineers - who have no idea how to tell a compelling story.
The finale is meh as hell. Damn few critters, big rubber humanoid dolls, no steamboat, no Award-winning song.
And three (shudder) Mama Odies. Gross.
This is a disaster, especially compared to the original. Worse than I expected, and I sure didn't expect much.
Tokyo Disneyland, don't you DARE change your wonderful Splash Mountain to this heap of failure. You've got the GOOD version.
Jeez, what a flop.
I'm one of those rare breed of people still mourning the demise of Maelstrom and the Norway Pavilion. What emerged from the Frozen renovation was no longer a Norway Pavilion. It was a mini-Frozen land. I've just been traveling in Norway, and it makes the loss of that wonderful land hurt even more. Such a shame. Norway now ranks as one of my favorite countries. Seeing the real Bergen with its historic wharf district, that Disney had recreated in miniature within the attraction, reminded me of what Disney had destroyed. I can tell the Imagineers who worked on the Norway Pavilion had the same love of the country I have. And it gave millions of normal people (who might not be able to ever visit the real place due to cost/time/health/etc.) the chance to see Norwegian culture displayed in a respectful way.
That was Disney at their best. I have the quaint and outdated belief that the best Disney attractions had the capacity to elevate their audiences. Not by bashing them on the head with information. But by introducing people to beautiful art, music, and architecture. Sometimes there were misfires, but World Showcase was (in this cynical time I know I'm opening myself up to ridicule) an edifying place. Institutions and individuals who make art and tell stories that edify their audiences are showing love for those who consume the art and stories. Walt Disney loved America and the people of the world, so he and his team created things that demonstrated that love.
Today, Disney does not love its guests or movie goers. They are interested in "mining" content that people are emotionally attached to, in order to extract additional value and drive subscriber growth and retention. By doing this, Disney hopes to drive price increases across their businesses and increase engagement with company-owned properties and licensed products and services. This will ensure that the company will meet its projected revenue targets, and help manage an economic environment were costs are continuing to rise at an accelerated rate.
Disneyland was created because Walt Disney sensed that he and his family (along with every other person visiting) were not being respected by the amusement park operators of the day. He was being treated with disdain, having his money extracted all while the amusement park operator provided a subpar experience. He was expected to wait while his daughters rode dingy rides. Disneyland was different. Disneyland is
your land. That's what Walt Disney said. That castle was
your castle. You were royalty in Disney's park.
This attraction is soulless. Even the Frozen ride ride is superior to this attraction. There was no love poured into this ride. And it shows. Like much of Disney's content these days, it was designed to "mine" content and better leverage Disney's intellectual property. Its story is a poor knockoff of the better-executed Frozen ride. It's boring.
What a shame! Splash Mountain was one of the greatest attractions ever built. This is a failure. I was hoping my fears would be for nothing, but this was even worse than I anticipated. No one is going to love this ride. It will be something done to cool off on a hot day, but it won't be beloved.
