Mon ami, I am always ready, as you say, to put on ze show.
(wolf whistle) Oh, pardon madam, that whistle was for my good friend, Fritz.
Fritz (originally red, black, and white - voiced by Thurl Ravenscroft):
Ach du liebe! I almost fell out of my rubber (number?) perch.
Glad to see you all aboard, er, ashow, or hehehe, wherever you are!
Mien goodness, you're all schtaring at us - we better start the show rrrolling.
Michael: Wait, wait, we forgot to wake up the glee club (shrill whistle).
(birds start chirping and the room fills with the sound of singing birds)
Jose: Ole, ole it's 'cho time.
All: In the tiki, tiki, tiki, tiki, tiki room,
In the tiki, tiki, tiki, tiki, tiki room,
Jose: All the birds sing words,
Michael: And the flowers croon,
All: In the tiki, tiki, tiki, tiki, tiki room.
Michael:
Welcome to our tropical hideaway, you lucky people you,
If we weren't in the show starting right away, we'd be in the audience too.
All: Altogether!
In the tiki, tiki, tiki, tiki, tiki room,
In the tiki, tiki, tiki, tiki, tiki room,
Jose: All the birds sing words,
Michael: And the flowers croon,
All: In the tiki, tiki, tiki, tiki, tiki room.
Fritz: I sing so beautiful, I should sing solo.
Jose: Si, so low we can't HEAR you.
Pierre: My voice may not be so marvelous, but my profile is out of this world.
Michael: Jawohl, but the trouble is - it's not FAR enough out of this world.
Isn't that right Herr Schmidt? Whoo hoo!
I see Schmidt has no hair! ('Schmidt' is Wally Boag?)
Jose: Mi amigos stop the cl__________g, you sound like a bunch of old hens.
There's a lot of birds waiting to go on. For instance:
Michael: The boys in the back are called macaws.
Jose: Because of their claws?
Michael: No because they're macaws!
And our fine feathered friend is a jolly toucan,
and two can sound better than one toucan can.
(toucan hooting)
Michael:
The bird of paradise is an elegant bird,
It likes to be seen, and it loves to be heard.
Most little birdies will fly away,
But the Tiki Room birds are here everyday.
All: In the tiki, tiki, tiki, tiki, tiki room,
In the tiki, tiki, tiki, tiki, tiki room,
Jose: All the birds sing words,
Michael: And the flowers croon,
All: In the tiki, tiki, tiki, tiki, tiki room.
Michael:
Our show is delightful, we hope you'll agree,
We hope that is fills you with pleasure and glee,
Because if we don't make you feel like that,
We're gonna wind up on a lady's hat!
All: In the tiki, tiki, tiki, tiki, tiki room,
In the tiki, tiki, tiki, tiki, tiki room,
Jose: All the birds sing words,
Michael: And the flowers croon,
All: In the tiki, tiki, tiki, tiki, tiki room.
Pierre:
Our magnificent production is yet to come,
So strum the guitar, and beat the drum.
We've been a hit, and we know you adore us,
So come on and join us in another chorus!
Everyone: In the tiki, tiki, tiki, tiki, tiki room,
In the tiki, tiki, tiki, tiki, tiki room,
Michael: A little softer...
Everyone: All the birds sing words and the flowers croon,
In the tiki, tiki, tiki, tiki, tiki room.
Michael: A little louder...
Everyone:
In the tiki, tiki, tiki, tiki, tiki room,
In the tiki, tiki, tiki, tiki, tiki room,
All the birds sing words and the flowers croon,
In the tiki, tiki, tiki, tiki, tiki room!
(horns ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta)
-------------------------- Offenbach interlude cut from show here...
Jose: Ah Ha! Applause! Applause! Si, that was crazy.
Pierre: Mes ami, such wonderful singing calls for applause.
Jose: Si amigos, Applause.
(gentle music starts)
Fritz: Ja ja, ja ja...
Pierre: Écoutez, écoutez, listen, listen...
Jose: I think maybe it's music...
Fritz: Ja, it's Offenbach!
Michael: You stay offa my back, and I'll stay offa your back.
Jose: Shhh... Be quiet and listen...
(Offenbach's "Barcarole" whistled by birds - horns finish tune)
-------------------------- ...to here (almost exactly 3 minutes removed)
Jose: Let's give the little birdies a great big hand.
Pierre: Qui! Applaud, applaud!
Fritz: Ja! You down there - mit both hands.
Jose:
And now señor and señoritas,
Please place yours eyes into the center, of the room that is,
We present the enchanted fountain...
Fritz:
Ack, ja, and the wunderba bird mobile.
It has birds on it, and it goes rrround and rrround.
That's why we call it a bird mobile!
Michael: Look! Here come the girls!
Pierre:
Madame and Monsieur, introducing the lovely ladies of ensemble,
Just like the Folies Bergere, with only feathers.
There's Colette, 'ello Colette, Suzette, hello Mimi, Gigi, Fifi, ah, hehehe, Josephine...
Jose: I wonder what happened to Rosita?
(birds begin to whistle)
Jose: And now, our national anthem.
Girls:
Let's all sing like the birdies sing,
Tweet, tweet tweet, tweet tweet,
Let's all sing like the birdies sing,
Sweet, sweet swee-ee-eet, sweet,
Let's all warble like nightingales,
Give your throat a treat,
Take your time from the birds,
Now you all know the words,
Tweet, tweet tweet, tweet tweet.
Jose:
Let's all sing like the birdies sing.
Bubbaboo, ba bubbaboo, baboo...
Michael:
Let's all sing like the birdies sing,
Tweet tweet tweet, my that bird sings sweetly.
Pierre:
Let's all warble like nightingales,
Ah, qui qui, est magnifique,
Take your time from ze birds,
Now you all know ze words, sing along with us...
Jose:
Now we want you people down there,
To sing along with us birds up here...
Altogether now, let's all sing like the birdies sing.
Everyone: Let's all sing like the birdies sing...
Jose: Tweet tweet tweet tweet tweet.
Everyone: Tweet, tweet tweet, tweet tweet...
Jose: Let's all sing like the birdies sing.
Everyone: Let's all sing like the birdies sing...
Jose: Sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet.
Everyone: Sweet, sweet sweet, sweet sweet...
Jose: Let's all warble like nightingales.
Everyone: Let's all warble like nightingales...
Jose: Give your throat a treat.
Everyone: Give your throat a treat...
Jose: Take your time from the birds.
Everyone: Take your time from the birds,
Now you all know the words,
Tweet, tweet tweet, tweet tweet.
Jose: Everybody whistle!
(everyone whistles and it gets faster, then a big orchestra finish)
Jose: Ah ha! Applause, applause, that was good.
Fritz: Wunderba, wunderba, give yourselves a hand.
Jose: A little applause for the girls, too...
Pierre: Ah, that was magnifique!
Jose: Si, no one laid an egg but me.
Michael: And now ladies and gentlemen, we have somethin' really big for you.
Fritz: Ja, the birds stand still, und the Tiki Room flies away!
Pierre:
Mon ami, quit talking while I'm interrupting.
Ladies and gentlemen, now we present direct from the islands, a musical luau!
(a=ah, e=eh, i=ee, o=oh, u=oo)
Flowers:
Tahuwai la a tahuwai wai la (Ta-hu-wa-i-la a-ta-hu-wa-i-wa-i-la)
Ehu hene la a pili koo lua la (E-hu-he-ne-la a-pili-ko-o-lu-a-la) (Such joy, the two of us together)
Pututui lu a ite toe la (Pu-tu-tu-i-lu a-i-te-to-e-la) (Breathing deep of the palai fern)
Hanu lipo ita paalai (Ha-nu-lipo-i-ta-pa-a-la-i)
Soloist: ...
Flowers:
Au we ta huala (Aaa-u-we taaa hu-a-la) (Oh, such spray)
Au we ta huala
Tahuwai la a tahuwai wai la
Ehu hene la a pili koo lua la
Pututui lu a ite toe la
Hanu lipo ita paalai (eo-eo-eo)
Tahuwai la a tahuwai wai la
Ehu hene la a pili koo lua la
Pututui lu a ite toe la
Hanu lipo ita paalai (eo-eo-eo)
Au we ta, huala huala,
Au we ta, huala huala, huala huala, huu-aaa-laa...
(drums, chanting, soloist)
Totem Poles: (something like)
Tahuwai la a tahuwai wai la
Ehu hene la a pili koo lua la
Pututui lu a ite toe la
Hanu lipo ita paalai
Hupto da ha ta he um
Oh ah hahey ah ah, Oh ha hahey ah ah
Entire Tiki Room: (something like)
Tahuwai la a tahuwai wai la
Ta hua oh oh oh Ta hua
Awahahawy Awahahahay hua awayah away hua huuua huuua awayaa.
Ohh huhu ohh huhu aahhhhhhaaa
Ohh huhu ohh huhu aahhhhhhaaa
Awway hua Awway hua
ohoohuhuhu ohuhuhuhu ohhhhuhuhu
(water in fountain rises)
ohhhhuhuhu ohhhhhuhuhuuuuuuu
Awwayyyyyy
(thunder and lightning - birds squaking and carrying on)
Pierre: Ack! Somebody has stolen my tunder.
Jose: I think someone has left the 'chower running.
Fritz:
Be careful me fine friends,
The gods have been angered by all the celebratin'.
But me buckos, every cloud has a silver linin'.
Pierre:
Monsieur and Madamme, it's time to say adieu,
But we hope you will always remember the amazing things which happened here,
In Walt Disney's Enchanted Tiki Room!
Birds: The birdies had their fling (birds chirp and sing)
You heard the flowers sing.
Flowers: Tahu tahu uhu wai la...
Birds: Tikis play the drums (tiki drums play)
Hear them do the chant (totem poles chant)
Farewell, and Aloha to youuu...
Jose:
Ole', ole', applause, let's give the birds a standing ovation,
Applause, up, up, down there, applause, everybody stand up on your feet, ole'!
Michael: And now, as long as you're all standin'.
Jose: We have a wonderful magic trick for you.
Fritz:
Ja, a wunderba trick. Everybody... Face the door...
Und the trick is, we gonna make you all... disappear!
Entire Tiki Room:
Heigh Ho, heigh ho, it's out the door you go,
We hope you've all enjoyed the show heigh ho, heigh ho,
Heigh ho heigh ho, heigh ho, keep marching in a row,
Don't stop to look or read a book heigh ho, heigh ho,
Heigh ho heigh ho, heigh ho, just lift your feet and go,
You sing this song, you march along, heigh ho, heigh ho,
Heigh ho heigh ho, heigh ho, step lively not so slow,
Come back again we'll see you then, heigh ho, heigh ho,
Heigh ho heigh ho, heigh ho, make room for our next show,
There's boats outside go take a ride heigh ho, heigh ho,
Heigh ho heigh ho, heigh ho, it's out the door you go,
We hope you've all enjoyed the show, heigh ho, heigh ho!
:wave: