The Chit Chat Chit Chat Thread

Songbird76

Songbird76

Well-Known Member
MySmallWorldof4 said:
You hit the nail on the head! And that is quite sad, isn't it?
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Very sad. I think sometimes these moms (It never seems to be the dads! Or is that just me?) are living vicariously through their kids, and they are stuck as their junior high selves, trying to be the queen bee, or trying to be their kids' best friend instead of mom. I think I mentioned once that when DS was at his old school, parents were invited to come in and observe the class for like 45 minutes one week every year, and you signed up for a day, and each day had something like 4 slots. So the day I was there, this mom came in, late, with her daughter, who was also chronically late (I would see her at the grocery store when I had just dropped my kids off and the bell had already rung, and there's the girl, picking out her snack for school) and the mom came and sat by me. At one point, a boy started crying, I'm not sure why, but he was obviously frustrated and the teacher went over and knelt down to talk to him privately, and the mom leans over to me and says "My daughter told me that boy cries at least once every day!" And of course, at that time, my son was crying multiple times every day...he was bullied, he would get frustrated because things didn't go like he thought they would, but we didn't know he was autistic yet then. But that boy looked a lot like my son....same color hair, same size, freckles....I kind of think she got the boys mixed up, and she probably didn't know who I was. I thought it was just so wrong for a grown woman to be sitting there gossiping about 7 year olds! So I looked at her and I whispered "Oh, that poor boy....it must be so hard for him to be so frustrated all the time and not have people understand why he's so upset." or something along those lines, and she looked really taken aback, and then went "Oh.....um....yeah". She thought I would enter into her little gossip session and was shocked that I felt empathy for the boy. It shut her up, though! It explained a lot about that girl though. She had been in DD's class the year before and had been mean to my DD. When DD got her ears pierced, the girl made fun of her for having "baby earrings" and she would make fun of DD for all kinds of things....just a really unkind girl, and I also caught her once when it was taking DS a LONG time to come out of the building, so I went in to see what was wrong, and she and another girl had gotten in front of DS's coat on the coat rack and were dancing and flailing their arms so he couldn't get to his coat, and he was crying in frustration, no teacher anywhere in the vicinity. They saw me and skedaddled, but she was just one of those girls who was mean to everyone, and it was apparently learned behavior. Sad that a parent goes along with that instead of teaching her kid to be the kind to help or ask what's wrong.
 
Songbird76

Songbird76

Well-Known Member
MySmallWorldof4 said:
Is it just me, or did everyone grow up thinking that tornadoes only happened in Tornado Alley and nowhere else in the world?
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Well, I didn't grow up in Tornado Alley, and we had our fair share of tornados, so I didn't grow up thinking that, but DH swore up and down that tornados were not a thing you had to worry about in the Netherlands. They didn't have them. But I've seen numerous storms where I said "That looks like a tornado sky" and the next day I read about how there was a tornado. But apparently it's not just you.
 
KBLovedDisney

KBLovedDisney

Well-Known Member
Songbird76 said:
Very sad. I think sometimes these moms (It never seems to be the dads! Or is that just me?) are living vicariously through their kids, and they are stuck as their junior high selves, trying to be the queen bee, or trying to be their kids' best friend instead of mom. I think I mentioned once that when DS was at his old school, parents were invited to come in and observe the class for like 45 minutes one week every year, and you signed up for a day, and each day had something like 4 slots. So the day I was there, this mom came in, late, with her daughter, who was also chronically late (I would see her at the grocery store when I had just dropped my kids off and the bell had already rung, and there's the girl, picking out her snack for school) and the mom came and sat by me. At one point, a boy started crying, I'm not sure why, but he was obviously frustrated and the teacher went over and knelt down to talk to him privately, and the mom leans over to me and says "My daughter told me that boy cries at least once every day!" And of course, at that time, my son was crying multiple times every day...he was bullied, he would get frustrated because things didn't go like he thought they would, but we didn't know he was autistic yet then. But that boy looked a lot like my son....same color hair, same size, freckles....I kind of think she got the boys mixed up, and she probably didn't know who I was. I thought it was just so wrong for a grown woman to be sitting there gossiping about 7 year olds! So I looked at her and I whispered "Oh, that poor boy....it must be so hard for him to be so frustrated all the time and not have people understand why he's so upset." or something along those lines, and she looked really taken aback, and then went "Oh.....um....yeah". She thought I would enter into her little gossip session and was shocked that I felt empathy for the boy. It shut her up, though! It explained a lot about that girl though. She had been in DD's class the year before and had been mean to my DD. When DD got her ears pierced, the girl made fun of her for having "baby earrings" and she would make fun of DD for all kinds of things....just a really unkind girl, and I also caught her once when it was taking DS a LONG time to come out of the building, so I went in to see what was wrong, and she and another girl had gotten in front of DS's coat on the coat rack and were dancing and flailing their arms so he couldn't get to his coat, and he was crying in frustration, no teacher anywhere in the vicinity. They saw me and skedaddled, but she was just one of those girls who was mean to everyone, and it was apparently learned behavior. Sad that a parent goes along with that instead of teaching her kid to be the kind to help or ask what's wrong.
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That hits right at home describing my mother. She was such a queen bee and tried to make me her BFF. I was at first because I didn't know any better, but it wasn't until my classmates befriended me that I realized my own mother was my bully. This is one of many reasons I am no contact with her today. It totally sucks, but she is so stuck in time in the past that I don't recognize her anymore.
 
Songbird76

Songbird76

Well-Known Member
KBLovesDisney said:
That hits right at home describing my mother. She was such a queen bee and tried to make me her BFF. I was at first because I didn't know any better, but it wasn't until my classmates befriended me that I realized my own mother was my bully. This is one of many reasons I am no contact with her today. It totally sucks, but she is so stuck in time in the past that I don't recognize her anymore.
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I'm so sorry that was your experience. I was always taught to treat other people as I wanted to be treated myself, and I tried to keep that in mind in my interactions, and I ended up being a doormat. But I do wish parents would teach their kids the golden rule. I've heard parents bragging about how they have taught their kids to take advantage of weaker kids who don't stand up for themselves, or when I was teaching, one of the mom's said she would always buy designer clothes for her kids, even though they were not really in their budget, and she would replace any item the kid lost or ruined, because she wanted her kids to feel superior and have nicer and better things to show others how superior they were. What kind of a message is that to give your kids?? No wonder the kids had no respect for anyone. I only taught for half a year....I couldn't handle the disrespect, and I was not good at classroom management, so I decided teaching was not for me!
 
KBLovedDisney

KBLovedDisney

Well-Known Member
Songbird76 said:
I'm so sorry that was your experience. I was always taught to treat other people as I wanted to be treated myself, and I tried to keep that in mind in my interactions, and I ended up being a doormat. But I do wish parents would teach their kids the golden rule. I've heard parents bragging about how they have taught their kids to take advantage of weaker kids who don't stand up for themselves, or when I was teaching, one of the mom's said she would always buy designer clothes for her kids, even though they were not really in their budget, and she would replace any item the kid lost or ruined, because she wanted her kids to feel superior and have nicer and better things to show others how superior they were. What kind of a message is that to give your kids?? No wonder the kids had no respect for anyone. I only taught for half a year....I couldn't handle the disrespect, and I was not good at classroom management, so I decided teaching was not for me!
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Yeah, my mom has many issues. Short story: I packed a bin of stuff that I wanted to save when I moved. Couldn't take it with me at the time because I didn't have the room so I stored it in her attic and told her about it. She was ok with it. Came back a few years later to get that bin that had my stuff in it (trophies, childhood cherished toys, etc.)...my mom had went through it and tossed a bunch of things and broke my trophies. Found out afterwards, that she had been doing that for years. I thought it was me just losing things, but it was actually my mom ransacking through my toys to sell for her shopping addiction.

It really boggles my mind when a woman wants to "be" a mom, but when she has kids doesn't actually know how to be a mother.

Edit: I know my short story may not make her not a mom, but this was one of many things she did that was very unmotherly like.
 
MySmallWorldof4

MySmallWorldof4

Well-Known Member
Songbird76 said:
Very sad. I think sometimes these moms (It never seems to be the dads! Or is that just me?) are living vicariously through their kids, and they are stuck as their junior high selves, trying to be the queen bee, or trying to be their kids' best friend instead of mom. I think I mentioned once that when DS was at his old school, parents were invited to come in and observe the class for like 45 minutes one week every year, and you signed up for a day, and each day had something like 4 slots. So the day I was there, this mom came in, late, with her daughter, who was also chronically late (I would see her at the grocery store when I had just dropped my kids off and the bell had already rung, and there's the girl, picking out her snack for school) and the mom came and sat by me. At one point, a boy started crying, I'm not sure why, but he was obviously frustrated and the teacher went over and knelt down to talk to him privately, and the mom leans over to me and says "My daughter told me that boy cries at least once every day!" And of course, at that time, my son was crying multiple times every day...he was bullied, he would get frustrated because things didn't go like he thought they would, but we didn't know he was autistic yet then. But that boy looked a lot like my son....same color hair, same size, freckles....I kind of think she got the boys mixed up, and she probably didn't know who I was. I thought it was just so wrong for a grown woman to be sitting there gossiping about 7 year olds! So I looked at her and I whispered "Oh, that poor boy....it must be so hard for him to be so frustrated all the time and not have people understand why he's so upset." or something along those lines, and she looked really taken aback, and then went "Oh.....um....yeah". She thought I would enter into her little gossip session and was shocked that I felt empathy for the boy. It shut her up, though! It explained a lot about that girl though. She had been in DD's class the year before and had been mean to my DD. When DD got her ears pierced, the girl made fun of her for having "baby earrings" and she would make fun of DD for all kinds of things....just a really unkind girl, and I also caught her once when it was taking DS a LONG time to come out of the building, so I went in to see what was wrong, and she and another girl had gotten in front of DS's coat on the coat rack and were dancing and flailing their arms so he couldn't get to his coat, and he was crying in frustration, no teacher anywhere in the vicinity. They saw me and skedaddled, but she was just one of those girls who was mean to everyone, and it was apparently learned behavior. Sad that a parent goes along with that instead of teaching her kid to be the kind to help or ask what's wrong.
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Yes I remember that story. And I agree about these parents. You are so right. The dads are never this bad. They seem like the more rational ones and these women make women look bad. And the bad part is also that the kids hear how their moms talk and they basically think it’s ok to speak that way and the perpetuate the behavior.
 
W

wdwfan4ver

Well-Known Member
KBLovesDisney said:
Yeah, my mom has many issues. Short story: I packed a bin of stuff that I wanted to save when I moved. Couldn't take it with me at the time because I didn't have the room so I stored it in her attic and told her about it. She was ok with it. Came back a few years later to get that bin that had my stuff in it (trophies, childhood cherished toys, etc.)...my mom had went through it and tossed a bunch of things and broke my trophies. Found out afterwards, that she had been doing that for years. I thought it was me just losing things, but it was actually my mom ransacking through my toys to sell for her shopping addiction.

It really boggles my mind when a woman wants to "be" a mom, but when she has kids doesn't actually know how to be a mother.

Edit: I know my short story may not make her not a mom, but this was one of many things she did that was very unmotherly like.
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I have an understanding what you dealt with. I did not have the ideal grandma aka dad's mom. I had a grandma that played favorites starting her youngest kid aka my Aunt. My younger brother and I were treated differently than our cousin since the younger cousin is the daughter of my grandma's favorite kid.

My grandma had a nasty streak and a jealous streak to an extreme. She was capable of being manipulative also.

My younger brother and I were treated differently than our cousin since the younger cousin is the daughter of my grandma's favorite kid.

I don't want to get into details what she did to my dad growing up or what she did later on. I don't want to go into examples of her nasty streak or jealous streak either.
 
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ajrwdwgirl

ajrwdwgirl

Premium Member
Hey all! Today was the last day of school for our students! I still have to work until June 10th, but that's fine. We took our middle school students (the ones that passed their classes) to a regional amusement park called Valleyfair. It was fun, no Disney of course and everyone had fun until the thunderstorms rolled in. It meant we had to leave, but at least it was only an hour earlier than we had planned.
 
MinnieM123

MinnieM123

Premium Member
ajrwdwgirl said:
Hey all! Today was the last day of school for our students! I still have to work until June 10th, but that's fine. We took our middle school students (the ones that passed their classes) to a regional amusement park called Valleyfair. It was fun, no Disney of course and everyone had fun until the thunderstorms rolled in. It meant we had to leave, but at least it was only an hour earlier than we had planned.
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Oh my! You're off for the entire summer now?
 

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