The Chit Chat Chit Chat Thread

[Songbird76]

She's from Africa, and so sometimes she comes across as rude. Usually, we just let it slide as a cultural thing because we know she usually doesn't mean it. But one thing that drives me crazy is that you tell her to be someplace at a certain time, and she gives you another time when she'll tell you she's going to be there. So if you say "Hey, get there at 2" she'll say "Okay, I'll be there at 3." Not, "Oh, sorry, I can't get there until 3." Just, "I'll be there at 3." We call it Africa time. Well, we took the train to DC a few months ago. We told her to meet us at 8. Train was leaving at 8:45 from the airport. She told us she'd be there at 8:30. We told her no, when we said 8, we mean 8. 8:15 came. She wasn't there. We left. She didn't make it that day. Called her on that behavior. She wasn't mad, surprisingly.

That seems to be common in a lot of countries. When you set a time, people see it as a suggested time...more a guideline than an actual request. I finally started putting an hour earlier on invitations for the kids' birthday parties with my friends, because if I said 3, they'd come at 4. And if they said 3, they'd be surprised when we got there at 3 and we'd be the first ones there, waiting for everyone else, while the hosts were still setting up. And when I moved here, that's one of the things that was mentioned in school...that Dutch people actually expect you at the time you agreed on, and that in a lot of countries, particularly African countries, they don't really do that. Things start when everyone gets there, so they don't just....set a specific time. I don't know how true that is, but that's what we were told. (Part of our classes was learning about Dutch society and norms.) I was always taught to be 10 minutes earlier than you agreed on. It drives me nuts when people are late without calling.

 

[21stamps]

Your son's manic attempts to get as many classes even if its already past unreasonable levels of time management?

I was always late for engagements before I had a child. I can’t pin that on him.

 

[21stamps]

Oh my!!! I hope that weekend was worth it. How did you have the guts to do that? I would have been terrified to even try it. I spent the night at my friend Shonna's house when we were probably 16? And it was the ONLY time my mom ever let me stay at a friend's house when the parents weren't home, with a promise that we would not leave the house. We were watching movies and Shonna said "Let's go out and do something!" and it was like 2 am....I said "What would we do at 2 am? Nothing is open and it's cold outside." Plus, I seriously thought my mom was going to call in the middle of the night just to make sure we answered the phone. And if she had done that and I wasn't there, I would have been grounded for the rest of high school. (And no, that's not an exaggeration. I got grounded for 3 weeks just for being 15 minutes later than usual one night when I was helping a friend exercise her sheep for fair, because we had to stop and go to the bathroom and had to go out of our usual route to get to a bathroom. And that wasn't a set curfew thing. I was 17 and it was 10:15 on a non-school night. Hardly a huge infraction....so if I got 3 weeks for that, imagine what it would have been at 15 or 16, being out in the middle of the night after I promised we wouldn't leave the house! My mother's punishments were HARSH) Just out of curiosity, what was your curfew that was earlier than all your friends?

Ha! This makes me feel better.. I thought my parents were super strict!

I started flying by myself at 15,, usually to meet my family somewhere, I would stay behind (with my grandparents) for a day or two if there was sports conflicts of my own.

I went on spring break when I was 16 (when I was in 11th grade) with a group of other juniors and seniors.. my parents allowed that.. but only because one set of parents were going too. Although those parents were not at all as strict as mine.. they pretty much left us alone for the week. That trip took a lot of convincing.
I also went to Woodstock 1994 that same summer after that severe grounding.. that was with two other girlfriends and a mom.. the only reason I was allowed to still go was because I literally cleaned every day, did dishes every night, even was tasked with mowing the lawn. I also went to my grandmother’s house almost daily to clean as well. Parents originally threatened to take that trip away.. but allowed it I think because it was such a once in a lifetime thing...and I was on my BEST behavior leading up to it.

I knew that I wouldn’t be allowed to go for that pre college weekend without parental supervision..but I wanted to, so I went. I really wasn’t a bad kid. I did well in school and sports and volunteered often.. I just did some stupid things.

My curfew was 10pm on weekends unless it was Friday night football.. then it was 11.. and usually my parents were also at the game, just far away from me once I hit age 12 or so.. If they weren’t there, my grandfather was. He rarely missed a game.lol
The only other exception was skiing. We used to do a ‘late night ski’ 9:30-12am.
Nothing besides skiing and football was acceptable past 10..to my parents.

But.. my sister’s curfew was 11 when she was a junior and senior. I think they just gave up by the time it got to her.
I would have been in so much less trouble in high school if my curfew would have been 11!

 

[21stamps]

Funny thing about junior spring break.. my high school was in the ghetto.. gorgeous all girls school but the surrounding neighborhood’s glory days were long gone.
My car was broken into twice, as was most other student’s cars. The girl who was driving to Hilton Head had her back window broken out and top slashed on the Friday we were supposed to leave!

No one else could drive/was allowed to drive that far, so we ended up having to get last minute plane tickets and were on the same flight as her parents anyway.. my parents were undercover happy about that.

 

[Cesar R M]

In completely different news. I'm still angry at Microsoft and their moronic automatic patches in Windows 10.
Its the 4th time they have released a big patch that hasnt been tested thoroughly . This patch was very bad because many people reported huge data loss (as in files erased).

In my case, this POS started to corrupt my Windows installation and after a BSOD 3 days ago. I cant run many apps, which means NET FRAMEWORK or other critical part got borked.. and not a single one of the self repair tools work. So I bet the repair installation wont either. So I'm going to do a full reinstallation.

<--- this man is not amused.

 

[21stamps]

In completely different news. I'm still angry at Microsoft and their moronic automatic patches in Windows 10.
Its the 4th time they have released a big patch that hasnt been tested thoroughly . This patch was very bad because many people reported huge data loss (as in files erased).

In my case, this POS started to corrupt my Windows installation and after a BSOD 3 days ago. I cant run many apps, which means NET FRAMEWORK or other critical part got borked.. and not a single one of the self repair tools work. So I bet the repair installation wont either. So I'm going to do a full reinstallation.

<--- this man is not amused.

Oh wow! Sorry!! Are you going to lose any data?

P.s. don’t mind me, I just got caught up in high school nostalgia.
#thosewerethedays

 

[MySmallWorldof4]

I appreciate the kindness, but unfortunately, my family won't. Narcissists don't believe they did or are doing anything wrong and will never apologize. That is just how they work sadly.

Narcissism is why one of my SIL’s just got divorced. Her ex was one as was his mother.

 

[Cesar R M]

Oh wow! Sorry!! Are you going to lose any data?

P.s. don’t mind me, I just got caught up in high school nostalgia.
#thosewerethedays

I hope not, I'm backing up, but then I know about microsoft and their bull already. so my data is sperad over multiple hard disks, including backups of installation programs in my server.

 

[MySmallWorldof4]

I did just take off a day last month to volunteer at the school’s huge fundraiser “marathon” and races. I took baked goods and helped set up for grandparents day at school last week.. but I couldn’t stay to work the event- I was there for an hour setting everything out though.

I’m currently organizing our winter soccer team as the head coach.. our season starts in 3 weeks. I’ve ordered all of the jerseys, put out all fees up front, etc etc.

I do volunteer. I just can’t do it as much as most other people... but I try to do as much as I can.

You just statted a new job as well. I am sure that you really cannot take off much considering that fact. I really wouldn’t let not volunteering as much as others stress you out.

 

[StarWarsGirl]

That seems to be common in a lot of countries. When you set a time, people see it as a suggested time...more a guideline than an actual request. I finally started putting an hour earlier on invitations for the kids' birthday parties with my friends, because if I said 3, they'd come at 4. And if they said 3, they'd be surprised when we got there at 3 and we'd be the first ones there, waiting for everyone else, while the hosts were still setting up. And when I moved here, that's one of the things that was mentioned in school...that Dutch people actually expect you at the time you agreed on, and that in a lot of countries, particularly African countries, they don't really do that. Things start when everyone gets there, so they don't just....set a specific time. I don't know how true that is, but that's what we were told. (Part of our classes was learning about Dutch society and norms.) I was always taught to be 10 minutes earlier than you agreed on. It drives me nuts when people are late without calling.

I'm the same way. If I'm going to be late at all, I text and say I'm running 15 minutes late but I'm on my way. One of my friends once called me because I was five minutes late (I had gotten lost and still had my old car at the time, so I couldn't call without pulling over) and she was worried because I'm usually early. So when other people are late, especially when they view a committed time as a suggestion, it drives me nuts. Especially, and this is my opinion, when you move to another country, you should learn and abide by cultural norms. Even if you're visiting another country, we were taught in school to be respectful of the local customs. In the US, when we tell you a certain time, we expect you to be there at that time. She's been here long enough that she really should have learned that by now.

 

[MySmallWorldof4]

Is this just a “my kid” thing? Or does anyone else’s kids say “I’m the only kid who doesn’t..”

This year so far- he’s the only kid who didn’t go to Disney. He’s the only kid who doesn’t have a cell phone. He’s the only kid who doesn’t play lacrosse. He’s the only kid who doesn’t play hockey. He’s the only kid that didn’t go on the Cub Scout campout.

None of which is true.

My oldest got a cell phone 2 Decembers ago because she babysits my 2 younger kids. Ds turned 15 this summer and he just got one so we could be in touch with him when he is home alone. He didn’t actually want one.

 

[MySmallWorldof4]

View attachment 320463

@21stamps this made me think of T.

 

[StarWarsGirl]

My oldest got a cell phone 2 Decembers ago because she babysits my 2 younger kids. Ds turned 15 this summer and he just got one so we could be in touch with him when he is home alone. He didn’t actually want one.

I got mine when I was 14 because I was after school a lot and there wasn't easy access to a phone. We had a house phone at the time. My mom has talked to my brother about getting a phone; he also doesn't want one. He doesn't feel comfortable talking on the phone, but we want him to get comfortable texting and calling my mom and me.

 

[ajrwdwgirl]

@ajrwdwgirl or any other friend, please educate me on this card that came in the same box with our Magic Bands. Thanks in advance for telling me what it is for View attachment 320423

I haven't read all the response but I hope someone is able to help you. We don't book the packages since we are passholders so I'm not familiar with this. I assume it is like the coupon books that used to be included in the packages. Sorry!

 

[ajrwdwgirl]

“Mommy Wars” Rant-

(It’s all first names so I’m not even going to bother scratching them out-)


Cub Scout fundraiser next weekend. Apparently people aren’t volunteering to work. So one of the moms tagged all of us other moms in a post stating that they still need help. I have signed up to make two batches of from scratch pumpkin apple butter Cupcakes.

Anyway here’s some of the posts-

••••Mom A
View attachment 320438


••••Mom B
View attachment 320436

•••••Mom A

View attachment 320440View attachment 320437



•••••Me.
View attachment 320439






First of all, I understand that it’s frustrating. Really I do. I wish I could help, and I realize that I don’t help the scouts-with time-often.


I refuse to feel guilty!!!!! I’m not. Every week I’m asked to volunteer for something.. I get it, private school means extra volunteer hours.. but let’s be realistic!!! There are some moms who do not have the ability to be Volunteer Junkee. My mom was.. I thought I would be.. but it’s not possible!! I do what I can. That’s all I can do.

This SAHM Mommy War thing is just exhausting some times. I do understand that stay at home moms are very busy.. but the reality is- I will never have the same availability as them. I just won’t. Period.

I’m baking for the bake sale. I bought $104 worth of candy bars to sell last month. I paid all of the dues. I have donated many items in the past (and we haven’t even been able to make it to a meeting or the camp out!! We’ve only been to 1 event this year).. I can’t give my Saturday mornings to them. Or weekday mornings. They have to realize that we’re all doing what we can. This post may have a Scout subject, but it’s so much bigger than Scouts..it’s school in general.

That sounds frustrating. I say do what you can and if others don't like it that's their problem. From what you have written you have valid reasons for what you do and aren't trying to shirk your parental/volunteer duties.

 

[ajrwdwgirl]

She does. I love my friends, but good grief, most of them have any sense of how much things cost and how money works.

We had a massive argument over all of this. I was at least owed a phone call. And now she's mad at me because I told her no, I can't go anywhere else with her this winter or this summer (summer I might try for Hawaii, but definitely WDW) and I told her if she wants to go to WDW, she is welcome to come at the same time as me in the future, but she's on her own as far as getting a room. She was not happy about that and is mad at me now.

Ugh, sounds like she doesn't like being called out on her thoughtlessness. Hopefully she will get over it, doesn't sound like you did anything wrong.

 

[MinnieM123]

ha! My parents still have a flip phone and don't text... my mom keeps saying she's going to get a smart phone soon... ha! If that doesn't happen by next september when it's time to upgrade mine.. I'm going to give her my old iPhone when I get a new one. My dad.. never... he's old school and phones are for talking, not for anything else.

I salute them. I despise phones, especially smart phones.

 

[wdwfan4ver]

Is this just a “my kid” thing? Or does anyone else’s kids say “I’m the only kid who doesn’t..”

This year so far- he’s the only kid who didn’t go to Disney. He’s the only kid who doesn’t have a cell phone. He’s the only kid who doesn’t play lacrosse. He’s the only kid who doesn’t play hockey. He’s the only kid that didn’t go on the Cub Scout campout.

None of which is true.

When I was a kid, My younger brother and I didn't dare to make the I'm the only kid who doesn't blank type statements to our own parents.

The way I looked at it is was I did not have every popular thing in the sun as a kid, but I was thankful for what I had. I had popular stuff as a kid in my era such as Transformers, hot wheels, Matchbox cars, and micro machines as examples. I understand as a kid that I couldn't get everything, but I appreciate what I got.

I was late for getting a Nes. Back in grade school, students had Nes video game systems, but I didn't. Back when I was in grade school, I had an Atari 2600 jr. and a Atari 7800. I was thankful and happy to own a video game system.

In my era, kids didn't have cell phones. The other thing I wouldn't be using it a lot anyway because I was a severe stutter as a kid in an era that internet did not exist. Internet existed when I was a teenager.

The other thing is I had got stuff that other kids didn't get because the location of my dad's work was over 20 miles away from were we live. That Danish Bakery has a great reputation and I still recalled how I liked the Kringle my dad got from there . The only way to get food from that Danish bakery when I was a kid was by living in that area of the danish bakery, or drive there since internet didn't exist in my era as a kid.

 

[ajrwdwgirl]

She's from Africa, and so sometimes she comes across as rude. Usually, we just let it slide as a cultural thing because we know she usually doesn't mean it. But one thing that drives me crazy is that you tell her to be someplace at a certain time, and she gives you another time when she'll tell you she's going to be there. So if you say "Hey, get there at 2" she'll say "Okay, I'll be there at 3." Not, "Oh, sorry, I can't get there until 3." Just, "I'll be there at 3." We call it Africa time. Well, we took the train to DC a few months ago. We told her to meet us at 8. Train was leaving at 8:45 from the airport. She told us she'd be there at 8:30. We told her no, when we said 8, we mean 8. 8:15 came. She wasn't there. We left. She didn't make it that day. Called her on that behavior. She wasn't mad, surprisingly.

That would drive me nuts. I'm am very punctual and always early for everything. If I'm just on time, I feel like I'm running late. I hate showing up late at something. Once in college I was about 5 minutes late for my class and since I hate walking into places late I just sat outside the door and listened to the lecture. It was a big class and attendance was never taken, so it didn't impact my grade at all. I was also about 2 minutes late once meeting up with a friend, and she called me because she was so concerned that I hadn't arrived early like usual.

 

[Goofyernmost]

I salute them. I despise phones, especially smart phones.

And that is why I never had a cell phone when I was a teen. Well, that and because they hadn't been invented yet.