Another stupid person moment at work...
This person sent in a ticket for software approval. It was an easy approval, so I did it for him. He IM'ed me and asked me what the status was. I told him that his ticket had been sent to the service center and that if he didn't hear back from someone within two days to let me know. He says, "Well, can't we have this faster? We've been waiting weeks for this." He submitted the ticket less than a week prior. Which I could plainly see on the ticket. I repeated myself: give them two days, and if you don't hear back, let me know (that's usually when I escalate to their manager and say "Hey, ticket's not being worked on and the user wants an update" and he gets it assigned, but I don't like doing that unless I'm sure it's being ignored).
Today, I get an email from his boss, who I happen to know, and I see his email to his boss where he tells his boss that I told him that it would take a week for the ticket to get completed and that they'd already been waiting weeks.
Well, since his boss asked nicely if I would escalate, I did, and then I sent his boss a screenshot of the conversation where I told him to check back in two days and told him the ticket had only been opened a week prior.
Lesson: do not lie to me or about me.