The Chit Chat Chit Chat Thread

Songbird76

Songbird76

Well-Known Member
21stamps said:
I completely understand, and I’m so sorry that your son had to experience that! We have strict guidelines for coaches (and parents) to follow in school, club, and recreational sports here. A coach can yell at kids, I yell at the kids lol.. but you can not berate them.
We did a similar “run around the field” thing at practice when doing penalty shots... and if you made it- you got a candy bar as a reward. It was fun and the kids laughed during it.. but we kept it lighthearted and gave tips on why they missed or how to kick correctly.

I had a few rules, reminded the kids of them before every game—
1. If I see you standing still- you get pulled out.
2. If you’re not putting in team effort (ie. ball hog) you get pulled out.
3. If you show bad sportsmanship- you get pulled out.
And 4. (The most important) Have fun and give it your best.

These were 6&7 year olds. I pulled my own son out twice, made him sit out the entire second half for a display of bad sportsmanship once (yelled at a teammate).. and the second time he sat out for 10 minutes because he was standing still too long.

At that age in a non-select league, it isn’t all about skill.. but it is all about effort. Effort Is all I want to see as a coach, and watching kids improve is the most satisfying part. I’ve found kids have more fun when they improve, not when the continually get embarrassed by their mistakes- and in that situation the coach is the main one to blame.

My kiddo has had anxiety in games since going select. I’ve asked him why repeatedly.. he says “I don’t know, I’m just nervous.” I know it’s because he’s accustomed to being one of the 2 best kids on the field, and now he’s not. I think that’s the same reason he froze up and bombed at baseball tryouts.
Myself and his new coaches have talked to him about his confidence level, and we’ll see if he gets it back, I hope so..but I know that if his coaches were screaming degrading things to him that it wouldn’t help.
They can yell “That was your ball!” “Fight for it!” “Pass!” Etc etc.. they can pull a kid out and talk to them about their mistakes... but what happened to your son is unacceptable. That’s exactly the opposite goal of what sports should be! Ugh, again, I’m so sorry that your family had to experience that.
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Yeah, what you are describing, that's what the first coach was like....he was so amazing. We loved him and he really gave the kids direction. It wasn't berating them, he was just calling things to them from the sidelines. I will admit, DS can be difficult to handle. He cries at the drop of a hat, and he has no insight...he can't anticipate what someone from the other team might do and adjust to that. So he's HARD to coach, because he doesn't really learn from his mistakes...he makes the same ones over and over again...but that has more to do with how his brain works. He's just not cut out for team sports like that. I think he could handle baseball, because that is more...concrete, I guess. You don't have to move all over a field or court and memorize plays and positions. You have a set position and this is what you do. But there's no baseball here. But soccer requires more insight and he just doesn't have that. So to a coach who is set on winning, it's hard to deal with a kid who can't react to what's going on around him and think what the best response is on his part. I'm sure the coach was not at all disappointed when we pulled him out of soccer and switched over to chess. But that coach could have really used some patience and some teaching skills. We weren't aiming for having him be a star player...he wanted to play, and it was just for fun for him. Unfortunately, that's not what the coach was looking for...it wasn't about the effort for him, he wanted to WIN, and it frustrated him that DS was not a star. It all worked out though...DS gets to play soccer at recess, and now he plays chess as his hobby. He's better at that...everything is stationary and he has all the time he needs to analyze and plan his moves accordingly. And he doesn't need motor skills or hand-eye coordination for chess. He's where he needs to be now, and I think he realizes it's a better fit for him. I'm glad he got to have the experience of soccer, but glad he's found what suits him now.
 
Songbird76

Songbird76

Well-Known Member
MySmallWorldof4 said:
That is so mean what she did to that boy. How did no one complain? Being new she couldn't have been tenured, so could have been fired. She should have known that singling out that boy as she did would worsen and not help his behavior. You are probably right. She was looking for a 9 month out of a year job with benefits.
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No one complained because no one liked the kid. I stood up for him several times when kids were picking on him. It's really sad...his dad was an alcoholic, his mom went to prison for dealing drugs to try to keep a roof over their heads while dad was drinking all the income away. Abusive home, neglect...he just had a really bad home life and he acted out at school. Teachers didn't really know what to do with him, and in a class with 25 other kids, the easiest thing to do was just send him out of the classroom where he wasn't bothering them anymore. He's actually doing really well now. He went to an alternative school our senior year. I went to prom with him...he wanted to go to prom at our school with all his friends, but couldn't because he didn't go there, unless he had a date with someone who went to our school. I didn't have a date, but I had already bought tickets....it was 2 days before prom and I was tutoring when he came in and we chatted and he said he wanted to go, but didn't have tickets, I wasn't going to go because I didn't have a date, but I had the tickets....it worked out for both of us. Then he graduated high school, joined the military and rose in the ranks and now he's got a job as a fireman, I THINK still military related. It really turned him around. He's married and has 2 kids. So happy ending, I guess, but our little town was not accepting of anyone different. And they didn't know how to deal with him or how to help. I think probably the other teachers just warned her that he could be disruptive, and told her to send him out of the class if he was, and she probably figured she'd just anticipate it and nip it in the bud by starting off with him being isolated. It backfired on her. Not sure who ended up with the most education in her first year of teaching....the students or the teacher. My class was known for being a handful.
 
MinnieM123

MinnieM123

Premium Member
21stamps said:
I was never as big of a Borders fan as B&N, I had both within 1 block of me which I always thought was weird. Both were always crowded, and I did see a lot of people buying books.. it’s a great place to relax and read..and drink good coffee. :). Borders going out of business was a huge disappointment to me, even though I didn’t spend a ton of time there.. watching several B&N locations close down over the past few years has been sad as well.. but I do think there is still enough of a market for the physical B&N locations.
They used to have a thing call “Barnes and Noble University” that was awesome. Kind of like a book club.: I wish they would bring that back. They have newly brought back book clubs which is great.
The store locations have activities and readings throughout the year..

Like I said, I think there’s still enough people who want that. B&N was never meant to be just about ordering a book. More like a library.. but not free. ;)
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I like Barnes and Noble. To me, online ordering of books isn't even close to going to a bookstore and browsing. It's a relaxed atmosphere and people in the store are nice. I've had some pleasant conversations about various books with the employees there. If B&N ever went out of business, I'd never have that same experience on line. Staring at a computer screen looking at thumbnail photos of books, just doesn't even come close for me.
 
Songbird76

Songbird76

Well-Known Member
21stamps said:
I think that’s how it should be. This is how my kid ended up with a Justin Bieber assignment instead of past presidents or other prominent fugures.lol.

I emailed the teacher as soon as I saw the book, asked if I should take him to our local library and choose another. She replied “Absolutely not. I specifically had them choose their own, without influence. If he wanted Abe Lincoln and Abe was already gone, then I’m perfectly fine with choosing a book based on something he liked, even if it’s hair. The assignment is the same no matter who the actual subject is.” (I’m paraphrasing but that was the jist).

The Harry Potter thing is so neat! I bet they loved it!


I wonder he was a volunteer? All of our sports coaches thru school are volunteers, so it’s a fine line of firing them.. but it they break the code of conduct then the athletic club would do something about it.

We tried to combat our horrible coach by volunteering to help with practices, also more accurately- prevent practices from being cancelled- which she did often.
We didn’t throw an end of season party or buy her a coaches gift. The core group of us declined to do an after season tournament, even though I felt bad for a few other kids on the team who wanted to.

I heard that she referred to us as the “Mean Moms”. Honestly, I could care less. I hope that woman never coaches at our school again. Unfortunately, (edit- ‘unfortunately’ is probably the wrong word) interestingly?her son is on my son’s baseball team (the kid is a year older than T).. I know she’s not a fan of me and two other moms on the team for sure.. so this should be an interesting season sitting next to each other in the stands. I see her at Cub Scout Pack meetings and am always polite, and fwiw my son liked her as a coach.. probably because he never got yelled at or corrected at all.

Her family was new to our school this year, and I feel like she volunteered to ‘fit in’, which is understandable, but she was rude to us when we bought up concerns, and the last minute cancellations were infuriating.. I think it backfired on her.
Maybe @Songbird76 ‘s coach did the same?
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What she's referring to was my 6th grade teacher isolating one of the boys the first day of school before she had even met him. So definitely not a volunteer. Our soccer coaches were volunteers though...they all play for the club themselves and then are asked to help by coaching....maybe their club fees are waived or discounted if they do? I don't know. But most of them had kids on the team. The first one, who we loved, he had 2 boys. One was on DS's team and one had down syndrome and I think he MAY have played for the G team, which is the team for kids with disabilities. Had we known DS had autism, we might have had him join the G team. Hindsight. But he loved it for the first 2 years he played, so it wasn't all bad. But DS had kind of bad luck with where his birthday fell....they go in age categories, so like....6-8, 9-11, etc. But they made you go to the next level in the season that you would turn 9. DS 's birthday is in december, so he had to join the next level up when he was 8 and all the other kids were older, and they were playing against kids who were mostly 10 and 11. He didn't have as much experience, he was younger, and more immature...it kind of set him up to fail. We tried to get him a pass to stay on the lower level team because his birthday WAS so late and he was so young and inexperienced, but they told us they didn't allow that. Like I say, he loved it for the first 2 years, so I'm glad he got to have that experience, but I think he's where he belongs now and I think he knows that and he's enjoying it so much more than his last year of soccer. I feel like we can be grateful for the experience and for what it taught him, but also be glad that that period in his life is over.
 
MinnieM123

MinnieM123

Premium Member
dryerlintfan said:
A's first ballet class in three acts:

Scene one: I'm going to stand by Mommy and stare at everyone else like a creeper....

Scene two: ......Cannot...... Resist..... The..... Parachute........

Scene three: Mom??! Mom, who?!??! Do ballerinas even need moms??!?

View attachment 269455
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Thanks for making me smile (again) at your photos and commentary. :)
 
Songbird76

Songbird76

Well-Known Member
figmentfan423 said:
THNX but I'm just going to go to bed early. My good news is it's clean out the fridge night so no cooking:joyfull: at least I managed to get 2 tablecloths done but don't expect pics. Beige rolled edge on beige fabric lol It seems my dh thinks tablecloths are clothes:cautious::cautious::cautious: That being said I edged both for less than the cost of one even at Walmart:joyfull:
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Well, in your house, I'm sure the table is a valued member of the family...TableCLOTH...it's clothing for your table??? I guess??
 
Songbird76

Songbird76

Well-Known Member
21stamps said:
This was concerning, I did not pass the message to my son... but I thought “ok maybe she just doesn’t want them to feel too pressured, I’ll give her a chance.”


View attachment 269246

The entire season was HE@#. Minimal direction, practice (when we even had it) was full of “dribble in circles and stop when the coach yells stop”. These kids were 6&7, not 3. Don’t coach if you don’t know how to coach..there’s no excuse, YouTube can provide plenty of age appropriate ideas. I was at a Bengals game one Thursday.. my mom drove 40 minutes to take my son to practice, all the kids were there 5 minutes AFTER practice was about to start, she sent a text cancelling it. I left work early to take him to practice on Tuesdays- half the time they were cancelled 10 minutes prior to start time.
Here’s one of the times where we actually had an hour notice- with no explanation!!!
View attachment 269247

I tried to talk to her several times, I was very nice at first. But it was total BS.

Ok sorry.. can you tell I hated that soccer season? I’m done ranting about it. Apologies again.lol
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Was it weather-related? Our practices were hardly ever canceled. The only time they canceled is if it was raining so hard that it would damage the grass on the field....and that takes a LOT of rain. Or when it snowed and the ground was frozen and too hard to play on safely. Sometimes they'd try to book the all-weather field that was faux grass, but usually the more advanced teams needed that field, and the younger kids were lowest priority for it. But even if the coach couldn't make it one night, someone from another team would cover, or they'd just combine 2 teams for practice that night. It doesn't sound like she was very...dedicated?
 
Songbird76

Songbird76

Well-Known Member
donaldtoo said:
And, if anyone might be interested, here is that 3-D model further along (although not completed)... I actually didn't work on it yesterday, as I was switched to another project that had a hard deadline.
Anyway, I got to leisurely work on it going into the weekend! :happy:
Again, the style is not everyone's cup o' tea, but we do everything from extremely traditional to ultra-contemporary, and everything in between. The major stress is always there to stay ahead of the competition, but, ultimately, it ain't a bad gig, overall...!!! ;)

View attachment 269312
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Wow....huge...I'd be happy with 1/3 of that!! I have a question....are those both garages on the right side there? Why do garages need windows? Or is it something else entirely?
 
MySmallWorldof4

MySmallWorldof4

Well-Known Member
Goofyernmost said:
I sit there talking with my daughters, currently 43 and 41 years old. Grown up, parenting, dealing with life and the world with calmness and clear thinking, and flash back to the baby years, the toddler years, the young child years, the teenage years, the college years and it all seems surreal now. I know it happened, I even have pictures, but, those two cannot be the same people. They just can't be. If it is possible I love them more then I did when they were born. I'm proud of what they have become even at the times when they forget that I am Dad and that I know everything. They even have the audacity to disagree.... out loud. Can you imagine? We sometimes get so involved with the process that we don't really see until much later what has been accomplish, by them, without our help.

They, like we ourselves did, have reached the point where they no longer need us in any tangible sense, but, we need them to need us because being a parent is a life time commitment. We must always be there for them from a distance. Hurts sometimes until we remember that our purpose was to teach them to be able to survive without us. If they can, we did our job and we did it well.
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I love your sentimental thoughts. They are so true.
 

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