The Chit Chat Chit Chat Thread

betty rose

betty rose

Well-Known Member
Songbird76 said:
Well, that couldn't have been why my mother was so strict with me...as far as my mom was concerned, he could do no wrong...he was the perfect child. And he never really did anything bad, but I was no worse, so I don't know why she treated me like I couldn't be trusted. The only thing she said about it was "Well...he's a boy".
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I heard that from my Mom. I guess boy's were allowed to be "boy's" back in our day. Mine, much earlier than your's!;)
 
Songbird76

Songbird76

Well-Known Member
MOXOMUMD said:
It sounds like you did not have a good vacation at all.
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Oh I did! There was a lot of fun had....I just had to kind of fight to make sure I got to do everything, and I lost a few battles. I WOULD like to go again sometime without the kids, just because then there are some things you don't have to spend time on, which leaves more time for more adult things. And because then we could stay out later without worrying that the kids, particularly my son, would get overly tired. My son is very young for his age. Chronologically he's 8, but he is more like a six year old in his behavior, and if he doesn't get enough sleep, he just gets upset about everything, which frustrates DH so much. I'm used to it because I'm home with him all the time, but hubby has to deal with it less, so he lacks the patience. We had a great time, though. We had just a few days that were less so, and we went home early and got rested up and were fine the next day each time. I wish we had had more days in the resort though, so we could have thrown in a few more rest days. I thought 10 days would be PLENTY, but it turned out not really to work out that way, and we had 14 day tickets, and I was expecting to get to go to the parks while we stayed with my friend and we only ended up getting to go one day, so a lot of the stuff I thought we'd fit in then never happened. But I can't complain, because hey, I was at Disney for 10 days!! That's twice as long as I ever have been! AND I finally got to stay in a Disney Resort, which was a first!
 
Songbird76

Songbird76

Well-Known Member
ajrwdwgirl said:
Back at work today. :( Just on quick during lunch. It has been mostly meetings. This afternoon I get to work in my room. The bad part is they have shut off the water on my side of the building to work on something. So I have to walk to the other side of the school to use the facilities. Our school is spread out so it is a hassle.
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Well that sounds less than fun! Did you say school already started, or not yet? Did you end up doing the tech course they wanted volunteers for?
 
Songbird76

Songbird76

Well-Known Member
betty rose said:
I didn't make myself clear, he was the favorite and could do no wrong either, she suspected that sister and I couldn't be trusted. My mother had a memorial of my brother in the living room with his pictures....go figure. Sis and I were absent. It's like she wanted to forget us.
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I'm so sorry you were treated like that. Well, we're glad to have you here anyway!! When I was in college, my mom was so angry with me that she just ignored me. My brother and I lived in the same dorm on the same floor...he on the boys side, and I on the girls...there was only a lobby between us. When my mom came to visit once, I knew she was coming, but she was later than expected. My brother was working at a little coffee shop across the street. So I left her a note that I was at the coffee shop, thinking then she only had to go one place to find both of us. She came in and sat down and I said "Oh good, you got my note." and she said "No, I didn't go by your room. Your brother didn't answer when I knocked, so I figured he was working and so I just came straight here." So...she could have walked twenty steps and been at my room since she was already there, but she didn't want to see me. She only cared about seeing my brother. Then she handed my friend a $5 bill and said "Go get me a coffee" like he was a waiter. (this was not my boyfriend, just a friend of ours) and he was SO sweet, he went and got her the coffee and she didn't even say thank you to him. That's how mad she was at ME...she couldn't even be civil to anyone who was my friend. And then at the end of the semester, it was Mother's Day weekend and I had to move out of the dorm I was in and into the one they kept open for the summer. The one I was in was used for conferences/camps. Where I was moving was just across the parking lot...it wasn't far. I had planned to take her out for Mother's Day, my brother wanted to go with us and it would be a gift from both of us. So I had one more load to take over to the new room. I loaded my stuff up, said I'd be right back and took my stuff over. I came back to an empty room. My roommate was gone, my mom was gone, my brother was gone...no note, they knew I was coming right back...we were going to lunch together as soon as I got that load taken over. I had only been gone for 10 minutes. My mom had taken my ROOMMATE with them and left without me. Went and had lunch with my brother and my roommate for the Mother's Day lunch that -I- planned and invited her to...and she didn't wait for me. And they conveniently didn't leave a note telling me which restaurant they were going to so I could join them. Her excuse was "Well...we didn't know how long you'd be." Well, I was only gone 10 minutes...you couldn't have waited more than 2 minutes....just long enough for me to be out of sight of the parking lot so you wouldn't get caught! They left as soon as there was no danger of me seeing them, and ensured I couldn't catch up to them or join them. That was pretty much the way it was for 4 years until I broke up with the guy she didn't like. We never really recovered the relationship we had had...as strict as she had always been, I had never felt like she didn't love me. She was always there when I needed her. Until the day I made a decision for myself, and we never got that back. I really wish we could have worked it out before she passed, but my mother was never one to say she was sorry. She told me once that a parent can never admit to making a mistake because it makes them look weak, and kids have to think their parents are right so they will respect them. I would have respected her a lot more if she had been able to show me that she was human and admit that she didn't always know what to do. So there's no way I COULD have worked things out with her...she'd never have admitted she had treated me badly or apologized for it, and without that, I couldn't have really forgiven her for those things, knowing she MEANT to hurt me and wasn't sorry for it. But, I did learn some valuable lessons for my own parenting and I HOPE I'm doing a better job at least at admitting when I've been wrong or over-reacted.
 
ajrwdwgirl

ajrwdwgirl

Premium Member
Songbird76 said:
Well that sounds less than fun! Did you say school already started, or not yet? Did you end up doing the tech course they wanted volunteers for?
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The kids weren't back yet, they start next Thursday. We have inservice tomorrow and then don't have to go back until next Tuesday for more inservice. I have to go back to school tonight for middle school orientation. And no I decided not to go to the technology seminars. I probably missed out on something but I had fun with being at home with my doggie.
 
ajrwdwgirl

ajrwdwgirl

Premium Member
Songbird76 said:
I'm so sorry you were treated like that. Well, we're glad to have you here anyway!! When I was in college, my mom was so angry with me that she just ignored me. My brother and I lived in the same dorm on the same floor...he on the boys side, and I on the girls...there was only a lobby between us. When my mom came to visit once, I knew she was coming, but she was later than expected. My brother was working at a little coffee shop across the street. So I left her a note that I was at the coffee shop, thinking then she only had to go one place to find both of us. She came in and sat down and I said "Oh good, you got my note." and she said "No, I didn't go by your room. Your brother didn't answer when I knocked, so I figured he was working and so I just came straight here." So...she could have walked twenty steps and been at my room since she was already there, but she didn't want to see me. She only cared about seeing my brother. Then she handed my friend a $5 bill and said "Go get me a coffee" like he was a waiter. (this was not my boyfriend, just a friend of ours) and he was SO sweet, he went and got her the coffee and she didn't even say thank you to him. That's how mad she was at ME...she couldn't even be civil to anyone who was my friend. And then at the end of the semester, it was Mother's Day weekend and I had to move out of the dorm I was in and into the one they kept open for the summer. The one I was in was used for conferences/camps. Where I was moving was just across the parking lot...it wasn't far. I had planned to take her out for Mother's Day, my brother wanted to go with us and it would be a gift from both of us. So I had one more load to take over to the new room. I loaded my stuff up, said I'd be right back and took my stuff over. I came back to an empty room. My roommate was gone, my mom was gone, my brother was gone...no note, they knew I was coming right back...we were going to lunch together as soon as I got that load taken over. I had only been gone for 10 minutes. My mom had taken my ROOMMATE with them and left without me. Went and had lunch with my brother and my roommate for the Mother's Day lunch that -I- planned and invited her to...and she didn't wait for me. And they conveniently didn't leave a note telling me which restaurant they were going to so I could join them. Her excuse was "Well...we didn't know how long you'd be." Well, I was only gone 10 minutes...you couldn't have waited more than 2 minutes....just long enough for me to be out of sight of the parking lot so you wouldn't get caught! They left as soon as there was no danger of me seeing them, and ensured I couldn't catch up to them or join them. That was pretty much the way it was for 4 years until I broke up with the guy she didn't like. We never really recovered the relationship we had had...as strict as she had always been, I had never felt like she didn't love me. She was always there when I needed her. Until the day I made a decision for myself, and we never got that back. I really wish we could have worked it out before she passed, but my mother was never one to say she was sorry. She told me once that a parent can never admit to making a mistake because it makes them look weak, and kids have to think their parents are right so they will respect them. I would have respected her a lot more if she had been able to show me that she was human and admit that she didn't always know what to do. So there's no way I COULD have worked things out with her...she'd never have admitted she had treated me badly or apologized for it, and without that, I couldn't have really forgiven her for those things, knowing she MEANT to hurt me and wasn't sorry for it. But, I did learn some valuable lessons for my own parenting and I HOPE I'm doing a better job at least at admitting when I've been wrong or over-reacted.
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It sounds like your mom really missed out on having a great relationship with you. You are lucky that you have a chance to have a good relationship with your kids. It sounds like you were strong enough to become the person you wanted to be and smart enough to realize that you weren't hurting anyone by living your life even if they tried to guilt trip you.
 
Goofyernmost

Goofyernmost

Well-Known Member
Songbird76 said:
Well, that couldn't have been why my mother was so strict with me...as far as my mom was concerned, he could do no wrong...he was the perfect child. And he never really did anything bad, but I was no worse, so I don't know why she treated me like I couldn't be trusted. The only thing she said about it was "Well...he's a boy".
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Just guessing here, and believe me I feel for your frustration, but, some slack is necessary because your Mom is a product of her upbringing and the time of that upbringing. She was raised in a time when people saw females as weak and unable to take care of themselves. (Also one of the reasons that they felt relieved when the "girls" got married and had someone to protect them from the big meanies of the world.) She may just have been worried that you as a girl, by yourself, might not be able to fight off someone that wanted to take advantage of what your mother might have seen as a natural weakness.

Now I know that is not true, but, even though I constantly told my daughters that they could do or be whatever they wanted, I still worried about them, because, honestly they were weaker then the males, physically, and therefore in much more danger of bad things happening to them. With me it was never a matter of the thought that I didn't trust them, it was always a matter of I didn't trust the rest of the world to do the right thing for my girls. It isn't always a rational thought, and of course, I don't know your Mother, but, it may have been an overzealous attempt at protection as much as a person trying to maliciously control your actions.
 
donaldtoo

donaldtoo

Well-Known Member
Cesar R M said:
I would definitively do Alaska again (but much higher next time) if I could.
Mom doesnt want to go again (she's one of these who are once and done to try to see as much she can elsewhere).
Hopefully we will be able to visit Europe via cruise when our finances normalize.
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I've never been to Europe, but, it's definitely on the list, cruise or otherwise.
Especially after oldest DDs 3-1/2 week trip this past July. She had such a great time! And, she only went to England, Scotland, Ireland, and Germany...there's sooo much more to see...!
 
donaldtoo

donaldtoo

Well-Known Member
Cesar R M said:
I dont think they are shortsighted.. they know they can milk visitors as much they can. And im pretty sure Iger will do until the whole house of cards falls down. Its not like he has much to lose. He can sell his stock and get a golden parachute worth millions.
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Actually, that would be the epitome of being short-sighted, in regards to the future of TWDC, if that is his mindset; "As long as my butt's covered, I could give a carp if this company implodes when I'm gone in a coupla' years!"
That would be "long-sighted" thinking about his (financial) future, but, definitely short-sighted when it comes to the company's future.
 

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