The Chit Chat Chit Chat Thread

MinnieM123

MinnieM123

Premium Member
Gabe1 said:
:jawdrop:

CHICAGO -- Indoor axe-throwing is coming to Chicago’s West Loop neighborhood.

A Canadian company called Bad Axe Throwing is opening its first location in the U.S. at 165 N. Loomis Street – about a mile from the United Center.

A free open house is scheduled for September 9–12, bookings will start September 12.

For $45.25 plus tax, customers will get a one-on-one lesson on how to throw an axe at a wooden target, as well as a tutorial on how to stay safe.

After a warm-up, groups will take part in a tournament.

There is no age limit, so anyone is welcome to join in on the axe-throwing fun.

Bad Axe does not serve food or alcohol, but customers can bring their own food and beer into the facility. Hard liquor is not allowed.

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Jaw drop time . . . :jawdrop:
 
Songbird76

Songbird76

Well-Known Member
ajrwdwgirl said:
It sounds like your mom really missed out on having a great relationship with you. You are lucky that you have a chance to have a good relationship with your kids. It sounds like you were strong enough to become the person you wanted to be and smart enough to realize that you weren't hurting anyone by living your life even if they tried to guilt trip you.
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Thanks. I just REALLY hope I don't fall into that same trap. The ironic thing is that my mom complained about how my aunt tried to control her son's life and ignored him if he didn't do what she wanted. Like...her youngest son married the woman she chose for him...so he got a nice condo to live in. The oldest married the woman of his choice, who his mom never liked, and he got nothing. The younger son and his wife loved nature and hiking, etc. So they got jobs in Montana. (they are both teachers) They had the moving truck loaded in the driveway, ready to head to Montana and my aunt went and told him she didn't want him to go. So they unloaded the truck. She SHOWERED their kids with gifts and expensive things while her oldest son's kids were kind of left out for a while. And my mom was just so angry that my aunt couldn't let her son make his own decisions. She thought it was really funny that he did things just to bug his mom...like, he hated his hair long, but his mom kept nagging at him to cut it, so he grew it out. MY mom couldn't see that she was doing the exact same thing to me that my aunt did to her kids, and I never even did stuff just to bug her! I wish we had had more time to get back on track once I got with my husband, who she actually liked. I think in time we may have at least been able to talk to each other again like we used to. But she passed 9 months after I got married, so we didn't really have time to build that back. It was better than when I was with the guy she hated, but it wasn't back to the way we used to be. I was too hurt and I didn't trust her to let me live the way I wanted and she still tried to control everything. And I do worry...if she couldn't see that she was doing that to me, will I see it if I try to do that with my kids?
 
Songbird76

Songbird76

Well-Known Member
Goofyernmost said:
Just guessing here, and believe me I feel for your frustration, but, some slack is necessary because your Mom is a product of her upbringing and the time of that upbringing. She was raised in a time when people saw females as weak and unable to take care of themselves. (Also one of the reasons that they felt relieved when the "girls" got married and had someone to protect them from the big meanies of the world.) She may just have been worried that you as a girl, by yourself, might not be able to fight off someone that wanted to take advantage of what your mother might have seen as a natural weakness.

Now I know that is not true, but, even though I constantly told my daughters that they could do or be whatever they wanted, I still worried about them, because, honestly they were weaker then the males, physically, and therefore in much more danger of bad things happening to them. With me it was never a matter of the thought that I didn't trust them, it was always a matter of I didn't trust the rest of the world to do the right thing for my girls. It isn't always a rational thought, and of course, I don't know your Mother, but, it may have been an overzealous attempt at protection as much as a person trying to maliciously control your actions.
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Oh I have no doubt at that time that she wanted to protect me. It's just she went way overboard. We all worry about our kids, and of course we don't want to see someone take advantage of them or hurt them...but most people realize too, that you can not prevent every bad thing from happening to them. And keeping them from making their own decisions (and sometimes mistakes) is a huge disservice to them...how can they learn to navigate the world if you never let them try? At some point, she wasn't going to be there to make the decisions for me, and as I told her when I was in college, you have to trust that you did a good enough job raising me that I will have good judgement and that IF I make a mistake, I will handle it or ask for help. But if everything is decided for me, I will never learn to make a decision. So there comes a point at which you have to trust your own parenting enough to give me some room to try it by myself...then we can both be proud when I succeed and I can learn from the mistakes and how to handle those disappointments. It's part of being a productive member of society. And I was doing well...I had straight As in college, had a job, paid for everything myself and had a reputation for being responsible and polite. I never skipped classes or neglected to do homework...I was doing really well, a lot because of the way my mom raised me. That's the way she raised me to be...but why couldn't she trust that? She would come to visit and when I was in the bathroom, she'd go through my drawers to find and go through my bank book, she'd read my mail, and listen to my answering machine messages and then interrogate me if she didn't like what she found. That wasn't about protecting me from the big bad world...and at 22 years old (that was when I caught her listening to messages), at college where she wasn't paying a PENNY towards my education or living expenses, I would expect that she would respect my privacy, but her view was "I am your mother, and I will always BE your mother, and so I always have the right to go through your things and you have to be obedient to me." Things like curfew in high school might have been about protecting me, but not snooping when I was in college.
 
Songbird76

Songbird76

Well-Known Member
StarWarsGirl said:
Polynesian. At their new smaller pool (which I can't remember the name of right now...)
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Oh man...my kids want to stay at the Poly sometime. We went there for dinner one night and then we headed there when we were staying with my friend the one day we went back to the parks and the husband was supposed to pick us up around 9 and didn't make it until almost midnight. We had been at Epcot, which was already closed, and then we thought about hopping to MK, but the kids were SOOOOOO tired, and we thought the guy would be picking us up any minute and we thought it would be easier for him at the Poly because he didn't even know there were places to drop off or pick up people at the parks without paying for parking. So we thought it would be easier at a resort. So we went to the Poly and the kids fell in love. There was a guy doing portraits in the lobby, and just the theming and such is amazing there...the kids loved it. So we told them that when DD is a pop star and DS is a professional soccer player, they can bring us to Disney and we can stay at the Poly.
 
Goofyernmost

Goofyernmost

Well-Known Member
Songbird76 said:
Oh I have no doubt at that time that she wanted to protect me. It's just she went way overboard. We all worry about our kids, and of course we don't want to see someone take advantage of them or hurt them...but most people realize too, that you can not prevent every bad thing from happening to them. And keeping them from making their own decisions (and sometimes mistakes) is a huge disservice to them...how can they learn to navigate the world if you never let them try? At some point, she wasn't going to be there to make the decisions for me, and as I told her when I was in college, you have to trust that you did a good enough job raising me that I will have good judgement and that IF I make a mistake, I will handle it or ask for help. But if everything is decided for me, I will never learn to make a decision. So there comes a point at which you have to trust your own parenting enough to give me some room to try it by myself...then we can both be proud when I succeed and I can learn from the mistakes and how to handle those disappointments. It's part of being a productive member of society. And I was doing well...I had straight As in college, had a job, paid for everything myself and had a reputation for being responsible and polite. I never skipped classes or neglected to do homework...I was doing really well, a lot because of the way my mom raised me. That's the way she raised me to be...but why couldn't she trust that? She would come to visit and when I was in the bathroom, she'd go through my drawers to find and go through my bank book, she'd read my mail, and listen to my answering machine messages and then interrogate me if she didn't like what she found. That wasn't about protecting me from the big bad world...and at 22 years old (that was when I caught her listening to messages), at college where she wasn't paying a PENNY towards my education or living expenses, I would expect that she would respect my privacy, but her view was "I am your mother, and I will always BE your mother, and so I always have the right to go through your things and you have to be obedient to me." Things like curfew in high school might have been about protecting me, but not snooping when I was in college.
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Oh, I don't deny that the whole situation was way overboard and I still feel that all of that comes from antiquated thought from the past with a degree of "not to bright" mixed in there. I don't condone it and I always checked myself when I felt that my protective forces were overpowering me. I also knew on many levels that I could not protect them from the world and I had to let go, keep my fingers crossed and hope for the best. She apparently couldn't for whatever reason her mind set was.

Anyway, you reacted the only way you could and that was asserting your own independence and your right to do so. It is tough to do and it's her actions and your responses that created a non-healable gap in your relationship with her. All I'm saying is don't let that completely alter your mind. You can be whoever you want to be and not maintain anger about something that you cannot change and was, in many ways, a sickness that your mother couldn't control as well. I'm not pointing fingers, just offering a way to perhaps mellow the animosity that really does come through in what you have been communicating to us. You, with your own strength overcame it and developed a life to be proud of. Unfortunately, the contentment that you should be feeling is affected by what was an injustice, but, one that you overcame. Remember a phase that is oft repeated here. What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.
 
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Songbird76

Songbird76

Well-Known Member
Goofyernmost said:
Oh, I don't deny that the whole situation was way overboard and I still feel that all of that comes from antiquated thought from the past mixed in with a degree of "not to bright" mixed in there. I don't condone it and I always checked myself when I felt that my protective forces were overpowering me. I also knew on many levels that I could not protect them from the world and I had to let go, keep my fingers crossed and hope for the best. She apparently couldn't for whatever reason her mind set was.

Anyway, you reacted the only way you could and that was asserting your own independence and your right to do so. It is tough to do and it's her actions and your responses that created a non-healable gap in your relationship with her. All I'm saying is don't let that completely alter your mind. You can be whoever you want to be and not maintain anger about something that you cannot change and was, in many way a sickness that your mother couldn't control as well. I'm not pointing fingers, just offering a way to perhaps mellow the animosity that really does come through in what you have been communicating to us. You, with your own strength overcame it and develop a life to be proud of. Unfortunately, the contentment that you should be feeling is affected by what was an injustice, but, one that you overcame. Remember a phase that is oft repeated here. What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.
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Very true. I guess it just seems so unfair to me...I had my mother for such a short time. I was only 25 when she died...had only just gotten married. And the time that we had was marred by all that happened, mostly in college. The things when I was younger were annoying, whereas the stuff when I was in college was extremely hurtful and I felt abandoned. If we had had more time, maybe we could have gotten that closeness back. Maybe not...but I'll never know. I was trying so hard.
 
Gabe1

Gabe1

Ivory Tower Squabble EST 2011. WINDMILL SURVIVOR
Goofyernmost said:
Oh, I don't deny that the whole situation was way overboard and I still feel that all of that comes from antiquated thought from the past with a degree of "not to bright" mixed in there. I don't condone it and I always checked myself when I felt that my protective forces were overpowering me. I also knew on many levels that I could not protect them from the world and I had to let go, keep my fingers crossed and hope for the best. She apparently couldn't for whatever reason her mind set was.

Anyway, you reacted the only way you could and that was asserting your own independence and your right to do so. It is tough to do and it's her actions and your responses that created a non-healable gap in your relationship with her. All I'm saying is don't let that completely alter your mind. You can be whoever you want to be and not maintain anger about something that you cannot change and was, in many ways, a sickness that your mother couldn't control as well. I'm not pointing fingers, just offering a way to perhaps mellow the animosity that really does come through in what you have been communicating to us. You, with your own strength overcame it and developed a life to be proud of. Unfortunately, the contentment that you should be feeling is affected by what was an injustice, but, one that you overcame. Remember a phase that is oft repeated here. What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.
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There were plenty of parents in that era that were not controlling and allowed their children to develop and have normal social experiences. The use of money and guilt along with anger isn't a normal parenting skill it is toxic. Any parent that cannot accept their child will grow up and make their own decision and interferes with passive aggressive manipulation is not typical of an older generation of child rearing especially for a younger middle aged woman, that wasn't even the norm for baby boomer parents to curtail children from growing up, becoming responsible and become educated. It is a sign that they did not recognize boundaries and likely had mental health issues that warped ideas became the normal to them. That isn't love and caring, more psychological abuse to keep control. In my book there isn't any excuse for that.
 
StarWarsGirl

StarWarsGirl

Well-Known Member
In the Parks
No
Songbird76 said:
Oh man...my kids want to stay at the Poly sometime. We went there for dinner one night and then we headed there when we were staying with my friend the one day we went back to the parks and the husband was supposed to pick us up around 9 and didn't make it until almost midnight. We had been at Epcot, which was already closed, and then we thought about hopping to MK, but the kids were SOOOOOO tired, and we thought the guy would be picking us up any minute and we thought it would be easier for him at the Poly because he didn't even know there were places to drop off or pick up people at the parks without paying for parking. So we thought it would be easier at a resort. So we went to the Poly and the kids fell in love. There was a guy doing portraits in the lobby, and just the theming and such is amazing there...the kids loved it. So we told them that when DD is a pop star and DS is a professional soccer player, they can bring us to Disney and we can stay at the Poly.
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We stayed at Poly once before my brother was born, and I know my parents stayed over there before I was born, but since Disney built DVC units over there, we've stayed in the studios (not the Bungalows; those are outrageously priced. The studios) two times. Then we switched over to BCV.

Poly's not actually my favorite. I like Contemporary and BCV better. Poly's nice, and the studios have two showers, which is fantastic, but I like the overall feel of Contemporary better, and between the pool and the proximity to Epcot, BC is awesome. To be honest; Poly after having been to Aulani just kind of feels like an Aulani wannabee. I think there are definitely nicer resorts in WDW.
 

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