My husband and I do that, but we have a deal not to say anything in front of the kids. The kids have to believe that we agree on everything or they will USE it and play us against each other. So if one of us is being ridiculous, depending on the situation, the other will jump in and say "I'll handle this, go cool down" or wait until the kids are in bed and say "hey, don't do that, because...." Like, DS HATES being tickled...I think he has some sensory issues because he doesn't like loud noises and he always wants to take socks and pants and stuff off because they itch. So tickling is very uncomfortable for him and I don't tickle him. But hubby started tickling him the other day and wouldn't stop until he said "Mercy" but he didn't understand he was supposed to say it, so hubby just kept going and DS is saying "stop!" (he was laughing, so I wasn't TOO worried) so I told him to say Mercy, but there's this whole series here that you say..first it's "Mercy, Father" and then "A pot of ink" and then " <child's name> stinks"...anyway, he kept going until DS said the things, but he got so frustrated he finally just started crying and hubby got mad at him and told him if he didn't stop crying he would have to go to his room. In hubby's mind, he was just playing a game and DS got mad for no reason because all he had to do to make him stop was repeat the phrases. So later, I explained to hubby that that wasn't fair. He KNOWS DS hates to be tickled, then you tell him you'll stop if he says a certain phrase, so he does, but you don't stop, and then tell him he has to say something ELSE to make it stop....which he does, and then you STILL don't stop, you want him to say something else. He doesn't know how long it's going to go on, and you've basically now lied to him 3 times, telling him you'll stop if he repeats it, and then you don't. There's a certain point at which that's being a bully...he's not having fun anymore and you are torturing him for your own amusement because it's funny to YOU. So hubby went and talked to DS later and apologized for it. But if I'd said something in front of the kids, it makes daddy look bad, whereas if he goes back later and apologizes, it makes them respect that he can admit when he's wrong. It sets a good example.
