I was the same way. My curfew was "Be home before it gets dark", which is 5:00 in the winter. I was allowed to go to school functions like dances and ball games, but I was NOT allowed to wear make-up or date. When I was 17, my mom told me I could go out in a group that included boys, but I was not allowed to go out with the group including the same boys consistently. I think that's maybe why I was in so many activities...that was my social life. And the rules on school trips were much more relaxed than the ones at home. I didn't have to be in our hotel room on speech trips until 9, which felt late to me. And I was accepted in the speech and debate, music, student council circuit...basically the nerds. In my school, our area is big in coal mining so all the kids were pretty well off. My parents didn't work for the mine, they were divorced, we were poor. I didn't fit in there like I did in the activities arena. I know my mom loved me, and she supported me ALWAYS with my extra curriculars. She was at EVERY home game for which I cheered and a lot of the away games, too, and she came to speech tournaments...she knew my oratory speech almost as well as I did. And she used to listen from the front porch when I sang the national anthem at football games. So I know it mostly came from fear...she was terrified of what would happen if she didn't always have control over where I was and what I was doing. But it could have gone completely the other way if it hadn't been my personality to be a rule follower and people pleaser. My high school calculus teacher told me I was going to go wild when I went to college because I was such a prude in school and never let my hair down, but I only ever went to one party because it was a friend of mine and my brother's who was throwing it, and I locked myself in the bedroom and took a nap. I had no interest in drinking myself to oblivion and the music was far too loud to enjoy sober.
I am just not a big partier. But knowing how those rules and my mom's disapproval affected me, I try really hard to be different with my kids. My rules are more loose. As long as the clothes cover everything that should be covered, I don't care if you wear a red checkered dress over pink polka dot pants and wear mall bangs! (mall bangs and peg-legged jeans were both verboten in my house) And my daughter has a faux-leather jacket. My mom said leather jackets were for prostitutes. My mother would be horrified by my parenting if she were still alive. LOL But DD is very mature and responsible already at 9. I imagine she'll be like your daughter...we'll let her fly pretty early. DS is 7, but acts more like he's 5. He's going to be a late bloomer.
Maybe he can still eat some smaller portions of things he enjoys 
, along with 2/3rds of his plate being the "healthy" 
stuff.