The Chit Chat Chit Chat Thread

[rshell68]

Believe me, I wasn’t making light of aging, I was just trying to lighten up the situation a bit at the time. And yes, I have seen that pic and others of how he looks these days.

We have an 88-year-old terminally ill mother/mother-in-law/grandmother/great grandmother living in the front room of our house, which is likely where she will pass, in about 6-8 months, at the outside.
She has lung cancer, and is too old and infirm to have surgery, or receive chemo or radiation…any of which could kill her outright/sooner.
She was recently admitted into hospice care.
Currently, she is not suffering, but she can do almost nothing on her own, except feed herself…she couldn’t even sign her name on the hospice care papers. She’s also about half deaf and half blind, and that’s erring on the generous side.
Until hospice, we (Carolyn, myself, Matthew and Sarah) were taking care of her exclusively.
Everything from bathing her, changing her, transferring her from her chair to her bed and back, etc. Hospice care is now bathing her, but for now anyway, we’re still taking up the slack.
All of those things involve various amounts of pain for her, and even though she tries to hold back, it is obvious and gut-wrenching for her, as well as us to witness.
Some parts or our house are starting to look like a medical supply store, and we make sure she takes her meds, check her BP, oxygen levels, etc.

On a lighter/brighter note…
So far, her sense of humor is still in tact, she still has an appetite for different foods, and she loves her some Houston Astros baseball, with the season just having started.
We’ve watched baseball with her the last 4 nights in a row (I think I’m now going deaf because of the TV volume ), and since things have slowed down a bit at the firm, I took today off to watch the Astros v Royals game with her at 1p, to provide play-by-play as needed, and be here in case she needs anything.
So yea, I was definitely not making light of aging, as she has been living with us for the past 2 years, and I have witnessed her deterioration first-hand.
I was just trying to lighten things up a bit at the time.
I, sincerely, apologize for not making that more clear.

The love was for the care you are providing. She is very lucky to have all of you!!

 

[Lilofan]

Physical aging is a drag. But I'm far more concerned that I have my brain operating on all cylinders, by the time I get to his age. That's waaaay more important to me.

With money one can hire home health aides 24/7 but in another country its a whole different story. One mom I knew was recovering from a stroke being cared for by RNs and CNAs in the recovery unit . With the average salary on a RN in Manila Philippines making the equivalent of $6 US dollars per day or $30 per week, the family of the mom presented an offer to the RN to be her nurse / caregiver 24/7 at home paying the RN $1K US dollars per month. The nurse promptly quit her job at the hospital . The mom also has a maid and cook coming to her home 6 days a week each earning $300 US dollars per month.

 

[93boomer]

View attachment 778608

Definitely NOT our group!!

 

[Lilofan]

Believe me, I wasn’t making light of aging, I was just trying to lighten up the situation a bit at the time. And yes, I have seen that pic and others of how he looks these days.

We have an 88-year-old terminally ill mother/mother-in-law/grandmother/great grandmother living in the front room of our house, which is likely where she will pass, in about 6-8 months, at the outside.
She has lung cancer, and is too old and infirm to have surgery, or receive chemo or radiation…any of which could kill her outright/sooner.
She was recently admitted into hospice care.
Currently, she is not suffering, but she can do almost nothing on her own, except feed herself…she couldn’t even sign her name on the hospice care papers. She’s also about half deaf and half blind, and that’s erring on the generous side.
Until hospice, we (Carolyn, myself, Matthew and Sarah) were taking care of her exclusively.
Everything from bathing her, changing her, transferring her from her chair to her bed and back, etc. Hospice care is now bathing her, but for now anyway, we’re still taking up the slack.
All of those things involve various amounts of pain for her, and even though she tries to hold back, it is obvious and gut-wrenching for her, as well as us to witness.
Some parts or our house are starting to look like a medical supply store, and we make sure she takes her meds, check her BP, oxygen levels, etc.

On a lighter/brighter note…
So far, her sense of humor is still in tact, she still has an appetite for different foods, and she loves her some Houston Astros baseball, with the season just having started.
We’ve watched baseball with her the last 4 nights in a row (I think I’m now going deaf because of the TV volume ), and since things have slowed down a bit at the firm, I took today off to watch the Astros v Royals game with her at 1p, to provide play-by-play as needed, and be here in case she needs anything.
So yea, I was definitely not making light of aging, as she has been living with us for the past 2 years, and I have witnessed her deterioration first-hand.
I was just trying to lighten things up a bit at the time.
I, sincerely, apologize for not making that more clear.

Much respect to you in taking care of your loved one. Even though hospice who are angels on earth come daily , it is important that the person gets cleaned up after going number 1 or 2 in a very timely
manner to prevent infections and or C-diff ( ie family members being on top of this ). Also hospice trained our family on how to inject morphine and supplied us with it when that time came to use it. Transferring and helping the loved one is crucial because slips trips and falls could be drastic.

 

[donaldtoo]

The love was for the care you are providing. She is very lucky to have all of you!!

Thank you.

 

[donaldtoo]

Much respect to you in taking care of your loved one. Even though hospice who are angels on earth come daily , it is important that the person gets cleaned up after going number 1 or 2 in a very timely
manner to prevent infections and or C-diff ( ie family members being on top of this ). Also hospice trained our family on how to inject morphine and supplied us with it when that time came to use it. Transferring and helping the loved one is crucial because slips trips and falls could be drastic.

Thanks.
At this point, hospice is only coming on Monday and Friday (and it actually just started this week), so we’re still taking care of the vast majority of cleanup, etc.
And yes, hospice has already given us a “comfort pack”, containing liquid morphine, etc., and we also have morphine pills for her.
We gave her a morphine pill this past Saturday for pain. It did the trick and she took a nice, long nap, but the side effect itching kicked in with a vengeance later. She could not reach her back and it was drivin’ her (understandably) up the wall. I was the only one home at the time, so I gave her a Benadryl and then used a soft hair brush to gently scratch her back so as not to irritate or possibly break the skin, as her skin is very thin these days. She was pretty much fine after that, but still had some residual itching in her hands.
On Tuesday she needed some pain relief again, but this time we gave her half a morphine pill and half a Benadryl together. Worked perfectly, if only for now. She had just enough pain relief with almost no side effect itching.
As far as the falling, etc. goes…
We weren’t even in our new house 12 hours (at the end of December), when she took a fall trying to get up on her own.
Fortunately, she didn’t break anything, but was still pretty bruised up, so she was taken to the hospital, where they found a walnut-sized growth on one of her lungs.
She ended up spending a week in the hospital, along with a follow up month-long stay in a rehab facility, before we could bring her home.
She hated everything about that place, including the food, so we brought her better food every night. She’s, obviously, much happier here with us.
At this point though, she is completely immobile.
And, we go on…

On a side note…
The radiologist that took her x-rays in the hospital in December ended up researching back and found an x-ray from November before last showing only a marble-sized growth, when she was still ambulatory and in much better shape, and something could have been done about it.
We have no clue why/how this was never brought to our or, apparently, her doctors attention.
Talk about being p***ed off…and we still are.
BIL (Carolyn’s older brother) is looking into possible legal action.
It still sickens us to think about it.

 

[donaldtoo]

Good grief, already…!!!!!!!
Astros are down to the Royals 9-0 in the bottom of the first…

 

[donaldtoo]

The Astros bullpen is so shallow right now because of pitching issues, but they still finally made a change.
15 batters and 11 hits for the Royals, in the bottom of the first.
MIL and I are just chuckling at it all, at this point…!!!!!

 

[MinnieM123]

 

[MinnieM123]

 

[Grimley1968]

As a Kentuckian I have to say the last couple of days, and probably the next several days or possibly weeks, really show Kentucky basketball fans at their worst. It is true that John Calipari had pretty much run his course at UK, and his leaving for Arkansas will probably give him a fresh start and releases UK from having to pay a huge buyout. But there is so much negativity toward Cal in social media, etc. that isn't warranted. He was at UK for 15 years, which is an eternity in coaching. Then whenever one of UK's prospective targets turns them down, that same vitriol is turned toward that coach who for whatever reason just wants to continue his successful career elsewhere. Baylor's Scott Drew, who apparently is one of the nicest people in sports, was the victim of that today after he said no. UK is now trying to poach Dan Hurley, UConn's repeat national champion coach. He'd be off his rocker to accept even the money he'll be offered (since he could just leverage the offer with UConn to stay and also be rewarded for the last 2 years), but he'll probably be treated to the same scorn when he inevitably says no. We did this when Rick Pitino left, then when Tubby Smith left, and now with Calipari leaving. I'll always be a passionate fan for UK sports, but this is ugly and embarrassing.

 

[Goofyernmost]

Believe me, I wasn’t making light of aging, I was just trying to lighten up the situation a bit at the time. And yes, I have seen that pic and others of how he looks these days.

We have an 88-year-old terminally ill mother/mother-in-law/grandmother/great grandmother living in the front room of our house, which is likely where she will pass, in about 6-8 months, at the outside.
She has lung cancer, and is too old and infirm to have surgery, or receive chemo or radiation…any of which could kill her outright/sooner.
She was recently admitted into hospice care.
Currently, she is not suffering, but she can do almost nothing on her own, except feed herself…she couldn’t even sign her name on the hospice care papers. She’s also about half deaf and half blind, and that’s erring on the generous side.
Until hospice, we (Carolyn, myself, Matthew and Sarah) were taking care of her exclusively.
Everything from bathing her, changing her, transferring her from her chair to her bed and back, etc. Hospice care is now bathing her, but for now anyway, we’re still taking up the slack.
All of those things involve various amounts of pain for her, and even though she tries to hold back, it is obvious and gut-wrenching for her, as well as us to witness.
Some parts or our house are starting to look like a medical supply store, and we make sure she takes her meds, check her BP, oxygen levels, etc.

On a lighter/brighter note…
So far, her sense of humor is still in tact, she still has an appetite for different foods, and she loves her some Houston Astros baseball, with the season just having started.
We’ve watched baseball with her the last 4 nights in a row (I think I’m now going deaf because of the TV volume ), and since things have slowed down a bit at the firm, I took today off to watch the Astros v Royals game with her at 1p, to provide play-by-play as needed, and be here in case she needs anything.
So yea, I was definitely not making light of aging, as she has been living with us for the past 2 years, and I have witnessed her deterioration first-hand.
I was just trying to lighten things up a bit at the time.
I, sincerely, apologize for not making that more clear.

I wasn't offended, I knew why you posted the pictures, but in recent weeks I have had a number of revelations (mostly emotional) and reconning with reality to deal with. I'm not going to list them, but just say that I am far more reflective of my own eventual mortality than I have ever been. Seeing how people age angers me. I see no reason for people to have to deal with things like your MIL. It shouldn't have to be that way. Slight aging can be had without the need for illness and almost complete destruction of what once was as a human being. Why couldn't we all have just stay looking like we always did and moving like we always did? Is it because it's easier to accept dying if we look like we should be dead?

Listen, sorry of all the morbidity. I promise I will stop it at the end of this paragraph. I just really felt the need to express my anger even though I have nothing terminal happening to me at this moment and for my age, from the best I can see, I am doing pretty well and to be honest, have no desire to live forever. I just want it to be an easy way out and can think of no logical reason why it shouldn't be that way for everyone. However, it's kind of to late to change that now and I'm guessing pretty much impossible.

My spirit was just now brought upward by a text was sent to me asking me to join the "Youth voter turnout" group to get young people like myself to join in the cause and to make sure I tell all my friends how important our vote is. The one consolation is that obviously when you sit next to a smart phone it cannot see you, it just probably only hears you. Nothing but rainbows and unicorns from now on.

 

[donaldtoo]

I wasn't offended, I knew why you posted the pictures, but in recent weeks I have had a number of revelations (mostly emotional) and reconning with reality to deal with. I'm not going to list them, but just say that I am far more reflective of my own eventual mortality than I have ever been. Seeing how people age angers me. I see no reason for people to have to deal with things like your MIL. It shouldn't have to be that way. Slight aging can be had without the need for illness and almost complete destruction of what once was as a human being. Why couldn't we all have just stay looking like we always did and moving like we always did? Is it because it's easier to accept dying if we look like we should be dead?

Listen, sorry of all the morbidity. I promise I will stop it at the end of this paragraph. I just really felt the need to express my anger even though I have nothing terminal happening to me at this moment and for my age, from the best I can see, I am doing pretty well and to be honest, have no desire to live forever. I just want it to be an easy way out and can think of no logical reason why it shouldn't be that way for everyone. However, it's kind of to late to change that now and I'm guessing pretty much impossible.

My spirit was just now brought upward by a text was sent to me asking me to join the "Youth voter turnout" group to get young people like myself to join in the cause and to make sure I tell all my friends how important our vote is. The one consolation is that obviously when you sit next to a smart phone it cannot see you, it just probably only hears you. Nothing but rainbows and unicorns from now on.

Nah, life isn’t all rainbows and unicorns, so, IMO anyway, it doesn’t need to be that way here either.
Rant as needed…!

 

[wdwfan4ver]

Physical aging is a drag. But I'm far more concerned that I have my brain operating on all cylinders, by the time I get to his age. That's waaaay more important to me.

True. I know how my great uncle was before the last 7 or 8 years of his life. How he was in those last 7 or 8 years of his life was a sad thing to see.

My great uncle had emergency appendix surgery when he was 79 with him being given anesthesia at the time. Less than 2 years after the surgery, he was losing it mentally. He was so bad off mentally that he couldn't recognize who his wife was. Him couldn't recognize was a problem considering they were married since the 1940s and his wife played a big role in his professional life besides his personal life.

 

[Songbird76]

And then you wake up to your husband saying "oh sh..!" and you have to evacuate because the neighbor's shed is on fire. It had died down a lot before I came in to get a picture... Police were banging on doors to get everyone out and I had to go get the kids up and go out and they no more got out than a policeman asked us to go back in so the firemen could do their work. But I got a picture.

 

[StarWarsGirl]

I would also choose the later time! I had no idea that was typical to have those flexible hours...anddd 100% remote. Sounds like the perfect job to combine pool side . I am not a morning person at all but my job is on demand 24/7 -- I have a 3 month old baby who is my "boss", ha!

I have worked on vacation before. It's actually pretty distracting. Like, I don't wanna do this...

 

[Dead2009]

It got super windy all of a sudden. Wheres the cat to save me.

 

[Figgy1]

It got super windy all of a sudden. Wheres the cat to save me.

Chatting with @StarWarsGirl's cats to make sure they get your estate, sleep with one eye open

 

[Cesar R M]

so.. moooooom.. when you start giving me classes? XD

 

[Lilofan]

I wasn't offended, I knew why you posted the pictures, but in recent weeks I have had a number of revelations (mostly emotional) and reconning with reality to deal with. I'm not going to list them, but just say that I am far more reflective of my own eventual mortality than I have ever been. Seeing how people age angers me. I see no reason for people to have to deal with things like your MIL. It shouldn't have to be that way. Slight aging can be had without the need for illness and almost complete destruction of what once was as a human being. Why couldn't we all have just stay looking like we always did and moving like we always did? Is it because it's easier to accept dying if we look like we should be dead?

Listen, sorry of all the morbidity. I promise I will stop it at the end of this paragraph. I just really felt the need to express my anger even though I have nothing terminal happening to me at this moment and for my age, from the best I can see, I am doing pretty well and to be honest, have no desire to live forever. I just want it to be an easy way out and can think of no logical reason why it shouldn't be that way for everyone. However, it's kind of to late to change that now and I'm guessing pretty much impossible.

My spirit was just now brought upward by a text was sent to me asking me to join the "Youth voter turnout" group to get young people like myself to join in the cause and to make sure I tell all my friends how important our vote is. The one consolation is that obviously when you sit next to a smart phone it cannot see you, it just probably only hears you. Nothing but rainbows and unicorns from now on.

I disagree with some points. Aging is a fact of life so we need to face it. Taking care of my loved ones who brought me into this earth , disciplined me with tough love, provided me a good life while they worked hard to raise their boys I am forever thankful. Whatever condition my loved ones are in , my world is to take care of them regardless of situation. I seek out help so I am not alone in this. Being a caregiver is the toughest but most grateful job a son/daughter can do to take care of their aging parent , End of rant!