Things are getting worse with MIL.
She tried to get up by herself again, unbeknownst to us, and fell. She started calling for us. All is as well as can be for now, but, she’s also having night terrors, hallucinations and panic attacks, so we’re just not getting much sleep these days.
Sorry to dump this here. I just really worry about what might happen to her while we’re at work.
The lung cancer is also getting worse.
Again, sorry for dumping this here, but, our brains are fried.
Having had more than a little experience with that type of situation when I owned the level four nursing home. It is a heart breaker when someone has to finally realize that they took on a chore that they have had very little experience in and, even worse, really don't have the time. When a loved one gets to the point where they can no longer care for themselves, even though their family loves them dearly and really don't want to place them under someone else's care, one must realize that they are not doing that person a favor by burning out in the effort to not do the unwanted and up to that point unimaginable.
When my wife got sick all of her family was living in NC and she was by herself in Vermont. My girls decided to move their mother down here where they could better monitor her condition. My son in law and myself flew up to Vermont, rented a U-haul and moved her down here. We had owned that home together, in fact, she was an RN and the business was primarily her operation, and the last thing she wanted was to be placed in one and my daughters felt the same way. However, they also had busy lives and it was impossible to provide the round the clock care she needed. My wife had been a very active and had been a very intelligent and caring woman. However, that didn't negate the fact that she no longer could take care of herself and the girls had no facilities or abilities to care for her. She managed to be close by for around 3 years and then she had a stroke and it was pretty much over a year or so after she moved into a care facility.
I know it is a very hard decision, but sometimes it is just something that has to be done for the health of everyone. This, of course, is my opinion and everyone has their own feelings about the situation. I know that in spite of my hatred of the thought, I have told both my girls that I love them and I love that they have said, no way, dad you are going to be taken care of by us, that when I become a heavy burden I would be very, very unhappy to know that I was causing the people that I love stress, lack of sleep or constant anxiety. Put me someplace where I can make people, I don't care about, worn out and tired, but at least getting paid for it and can go home and rest after eight hours while someone else takes over as a caregiver.
SORRY... I posted all those massive number of words before I went on with the thread and therefore have repeated some of the thoughts of others and obviously thoughts that you have had yourself. Hope all goes well for all of you.