Well if you are concerned about cost of living.. DC shouldn't be high on your list Even way out in our suburbs, many drive an hour to work simply because they can't afford to live near where they work And I'm not talking about 'commuting to the city' - I'm talking about can't live in suburb ABC, so you live in BFE county and commute in.
Anywhere nice in the DC suburbs costs a fortune. Not SF or NYC... but considering I live 45mins from the city and still have those kind of urban comparisons... that should tell you something
Of course you could move out to the country here.. we have really nice stuff out to the west.
In my wife's profession, DC would increase her earning potential enough to more than offset the increased cost of living. And once she's settled in, I can search for a local job that would pay better.
I've tried to convince her to move west, but other than Denver and Portland, she's not interested. She loves to visit, but other than those two cities, she's not interested in being off the east coast, as to be closer to home.