Nov 2007 Report

*WARNING*


This is pretty much like my previous trip reports . . . not a lot of actual Disney World, but plenty of references to p00p.

The “underpants incident” alone probably falls into the category of extreme bad taste and Too Much Information.

You see, I’ve got a little devil on my left shoulder with the sense of humor of a five year old constantly saying: “Do it, do it, post another p00p reference!”

. . . and I know what you’re thing: “What about the little angel that sits on you right shoulder?”

Well a couple years ago . . . I think it was right after I posted this one:


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. . . He got so disgusted that he took off, and I’ve never seen him since.
So if you’re hoping for actual information about and photos of Disney World, I’m afraid you’ll be disappointed.

If, on the other hand, you have the sense of humor of a 5 year old - like me - enjoy!






We flew down this year rather than driving. Ryan said the only thing he would miss is staying at the slimy motels along 95 on the way down. I assured him that we could probably find a slimy place along 192 and stay there for the first night before we checked into All-Star music.

The Motel 6 seemed just about perfect:

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I give it 4.5 trucker's butts out of 5.

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Ryan wanted to find a good, slimy pizza place to go along with the slimy room. We found this place which didn’t quite meet his standards for squalor, but I thought it was pretty good.

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“Orange World” was right down the street. We popped in to check it out. After seeing what they had there, I thought it would have been more appropriate to make the building shaped like a giant T-shirt:

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I have no idea how this happened, but somehow we ended up bringing three tubes of toothpaste. The Mousekeeping staff must have thought we Donny and Marie Osmond were staying there (I would have been tempted to cut out such a dated reference lest people think I was old:lookaroun . . . But Marie’s recent incident on that dancing show makes the reference hip and happening and "now" . . . Doesn’t it?:lookaroun

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mouselvrmom

Well-Known Member
Very funny! I loved the muffin top, I need to show that to my daughter so she knows how not to dress. :lol: I'm waiting to see what happens to your mickey ants.
 

garyhoov

Trophy Husband
Original Poster
So when last we left our intrepid heroes (Fatman and the Boy Blunder) we were waiting to see if the ants would form the shape of a Mickey around this sugar I had poured:

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Drumroll please.













I believe this may be my first trip report cliff-hanger.





:lookaroun




Wel it turned out to be something of a "good news/bad news" scenerios.

Good news for those of you who prefer that your Disney resort is NOT infested with ants, but bad news for those of us (that would include me:lookaroun) who were hoping for a really cool hidden Mickey.

This is what it looked like the next day:

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Nary an ant in sight.:(





Last year, as we were headed to Gatorland, we heard on the radio that they were burning. So we were really looking forward to seeing it this year, but I told Ryan I’d have to call the concierge to make sure they weren’t burning.

A normal person would have just left it there . . . But Fatman isn’t normal, so I called the front desk and had the following conversation:

Me: Hello, I’m in room 5525, and last year when we went to Gatorland, we found out they were burning.

Front Desk: Yes, I remember that. That was a shame, but they’re back up and running now.

Me: Well I just wanted to make sure we’re not making another wasted trip, so I just wanted to check. They’re not burning now, are they?

Front Desk: (nervous laughter), No sir. As far as I know, they are not currently burning.

Me: Thank you. I just wanted to check. (click)

Ryan: You know, that might not have been the best idea. If they actually do end up burning, you’ll be a prime suspect.

Me: Yeah, you’ve got a point there.


On the way to the car, I saw this cool plant growing out of a rock. As I was taking the photo, I noticed the really cool, HUGE grass-hopper next to it. I hoped he wouldn’t move as I took the shot, so I snapped it quick - expecting the grasshopper to take off at any time.

. . . Then I said to Ryan: “uhhhhh, I think it’s dead.” So I got a great shot of a dead grasshopper . . . Which, it turns out, is a lot easier than getting a good shot of a live grasshopper.:king::lookaroun

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I saw after the Gatorland fire that the concrete gator jaws were still standing, so I told Ryan I was really looking forward to getting our traditional shot of him standing in the jaws. . .

. . . unfortunately, they're still using a side entrance while the they work on the front, so I got the next best thing:

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garyhoov

Trophy Husband
Original Poster
Ryan: Get behind it, get behind it. You’re too fat. You're hanging out.

Me: (Through gritted teeth) Well I’m not going to get much thinner in the next 15 seconds. Just take the photo.

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I noticed this alligator with what looked like splotches of white paint on it. I pointed it out to Ryan, and he said: "Uh, dad, I think it's bird feces."


Oh. . .:lookaroun

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This is pretty cool. You can see the Jaws through the wall:

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garyhoov

Trophy Husband
Original Poster
Believe it or not, this one actually represented a great deal of self-restraint for me.

Whenever we're at a zoo and we see an animal p00ping or peeeing, I always snap a shot of it . . . and Linda always says something like: "What are you? Eight years old or something?"

So this llama came right up to us and started peeeing.

. . . as if challanging me. . .

. . . but I heard Linda's voice in the back of my head, so I resisted. . .

. . . and the llama kept peeeing. . .

. . . and I resisted . . .

. . . and the llama kept peeeing . . .

. . . and I think it was laughing:lookaroun . . . mocking me. . .

So FINALLY I took the photo.

Hey, I can only take so much. I'm only human.:lookaroun


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garyhoov

Trophy Husband
Original Poster
Alligator wrestling was a little more interesting this year.

The gators were a little more active, and there were a few times that they swung around nearly nipped the ‘wrassler’. I commented to Ryan that if he got bitten, at least he’d have a cool scar he could show people and tell them about how he got it from an alligator . . .

. . . but Ryan pointed out that if anyone actually questioned him further, he’d have to say: “Well I was pulling this alligator by the tail at Gatorland . . . “:lookaroun

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After the fire, I remember seeing a Gatorland representative saying they were coming back bigger and better than ever. He mentioned that they were working on a "water-park".

I didn't really like the sound of that. Gatorland has always been cool because it's small, intimate. . . and sort of cheesy.

The idea of them adding a water-park and becoming more like other Orlando parks was sort of depressing to me.

I checked before we left, and saw from their web-site that Gator Gully Splash Park was now open.




The verdict?


I don't think Blizzard Beach needs to worry about the competition.:lookaroun

Here's a shot of their spectacular new water-park:

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I don't think it's quite spectacular enough to shake the "cheesy" image Gatorland has worked so hard to maintain.:lol:
 

garyhoov

Trophy Husband
Original Poster
Ryan had a great time checking out all the candies in the different countries:

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Japan had a really interesting selection of . . . bizarre . . . offerings.

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Ryan got these pretzel fish that had a soft, strawberry filling:

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Ryan pronounced them "puck-a" . . .


I was pronouncing them "puke-a":lookaroun
 

garyhoov

Trophy Husband
Original Poster
This photo has been giving me nightmares ever since I took it . . .



. . . so I thought I would share.:lookaroun

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haveyoumetmark

Well-Known Member
This is brilliant! :ROFLOL:

I love it, this is perhaps the most bittersweet trip report I have ever read. It's sort of like Hooters.... delightfully tacky, yet unrefined. I can't stop reading, it's hysterical. Eagerly awaiting more. :lol:
 

garyhoov

Trophy Husband
Original Poster
Sometimes it sounds like Linda would gladly surrender him to you! :lookaroun


:ROFLOL:

I think she'd probably trade me for a good cheeseburger. . . :lookaroun

. . . or a bad cheeseburger . . . :lookaroun

. . . heck, who am I kidding, she'd trade me for a smooshed McDonald's cheeseburger that's been sitting on the road for several days getting run over by trucks and nibbled at by crows.:lookaroun

. . . but I don't have anything to worry about, because I'm sure nobody would offer her that much for me.:king:


Thanks for the comments everyone! I've still got a few days, but I'm not sure when I'll get a chance to post them. Hopefully over the next few days I'll get a chance.
 

Monty

Brilliant...and Canadian
In the Parks
No
I think she'd probably trade me for a good cheeseburger. . . :lookaroun

. . . or a bad cheeseburger . . . :lookaroun

. . . heck, who am I kidding, she'd trade me for a smooshed McDonald's cheeseburger that's been sitting on the road for several days getting run over by trucks and nibbled at by crows.:lookaroun

. . . but I don't have anything to worry about, because I'm sure nobody would offer her that much for me.:king:


Thanks for the comments everyone! I've still got a few days, but I'm not sure when I'll get a chance to post them. Hopefully over the next few days I'll get a chance.
Only you could come up with that progression! :ROFLOL:
 

garyhoov

Trophy Husband
Original Poster
I didn't take a lot of photos Tuesday, so I think I can bang this one out fairly quick.


The grasshopper was still dead:

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For this next part, I need to introduce you to the Gold Phantom:

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The Gold Phantom, was our rental Kia. A powerful, asphalt shredding beast if ever I’ve driven one. The exhaust note was uncannily similar to a Ferrari’s V-12 (with roughly 8 spark plugs missing).

I named it the Gold Phantom, because I told Ryan that we were probably flummoxing people. One minute they’d be looking at a gold Kia, and the next moment, it would be GONE. “What the. . . I could swear I just saw a Gold car there a moment ago. Must have been some sort of . . . ghost car.”

Ryan (the donut connoisseur ) decided that the donuts at All Star Music’s food court simply didn’t meet his demanding standards, so most mornings we drove down to this Krispy Kreme to start the day:

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This particular morning, I was whining about the Gold Phantom - “You wouldn’t believe this Ryan. This car is like one of those cars at the Grand Prix in Magic Kingdom. As soon as I lift off the gas, it feels like it’s going to just stop.”

. . . when I pulled into the Krispy Kreme, I realized I had the parking brake on.:eek::lookaroun


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