That's the new Mickey Mouse ride? THAT?!
Is this a joke????
You know what that THING makes me think of? You guys remember those games that came with your copy of the Lion King and Snow White? You know, Timon and Pumbaa's Safari and Dopey's Wild Mine Ride? And remember how cheap-looking and stupid they were?
Welp, that's pretty much what this new Mickey Mouse ride is. Instead of an iconic new ride based on Disney's signature character with great AAs a la Pirates, what we're getting is an overblown, poorly-located DVD extra!
One can imagine how this joke came about:
ROBERT IGER: We gotta do something about that Great Movie Ride. It costs us a fortune in maintenance and it's showing its age.
LACKEY: Well, we could always gut it and stick in an ill-fitting IP like we did with Frozen Ever After and Guardians of the Galaxy, sir. Of course, we did get a lot of complaints and some bad publicity doing that...
ROBERT IGER: Hmmm, yeah. Tell you what, stick Mickey Mouse in there. Those true-believer saps can't complain about that.
LACKEY: Yes, sir. (Starts to leave)
ROBERT IGER: AND MAKE IT CHEAP!
LACKEY: (hurrying out the door) Yes, SAH, Mr. Iger, SAH!
Look, I happen to like the new Mickey Mouse shorts. I've watched every one Disney's made so far, and with only one or two exceptions, I think they're pretty good. And I know that someone here mentioned that the new ride would feature that particular incarnation of the Mouse. But for some reason, it didn't sink in that THAT version would be the whole show. Frankly, a little of that style goes a long way. (Mickey's drawn off-model far too often in those shorts for my taste. I know it's done for laughs, but still. Why mess so much with the world's greatest character design?) And it should NOT be the definitive version of Mickey for the only ride in all the parks that's built around him! It looks chintzy and tacky. And I agree with another poster here about Goofy in those cartoons. He IS awful. That was brought home to me again when, during the presentation, a clip featured a scene from the cartoon that focuses on Goofy's buttcrack. For crying out loud, Disney, put some pants on that Dawg! Oh, you say that's the way he was originally portrayed, without pants? Well if authenticity is your reason, then your Mickey shouldn't have gloves! Or shoes!
And another thing...how is this ride going to fit into its venue in any way that makes sense? Think about it...you walk into an elegant, glamorous Golden-Age-of-Hollywood movie palace, and the next thing you know you're riding through a tacky TV cartoon. How does this mesh thematically? How does this justify gutting a ride that was for ALL ages and lived up to its lavish exterior? This proposed abomination is a desecration both to that beautiful building and Mickey himself.
Oh well, guess TDO had to save a few bucks because it's spending so lavishly on Star Wars LAND and the Star Wars HOTEL. Not on Walt Disney's greatest character. Why should they spend serious coin on him? He's genuine Disney, part of the Disney vault, or as Iger undoubtedly thinks of it: "That old junk!"
Screw you, Iger. The Mickey ride was the only thing about D23 (that I watched live) I was looking forward to, and it SUCKS. I thought the Guardians intrusion was horrible. This is sacrilege. I can't believe TDO nowadays. I can't believe that so many so-called talented people have such lousy taste. And wasn't it just wonderful of them to use a clip of good ol' Walt to try to justify their crappy priorities.
That's all I have to say. That's a wrap. I need a beer. Thank you and good night.
Finally! A voice of tempered moderation!
