I need to vent very, very badly.

[figmentisgreat]

Ok, so here's the background.
I don't drink because: 1) I am under 21 and it is illegal 2) I come from a family of alcoholics and I don't want to personally drink.

My roommate knows both of these factors. She is also under 21. The one request (ground rule if you will) that I made upon moving in was that there wouldn't be drinking in my room (which isn't allowed as per Rutgers rules anyway). Well, surely enough, I noticed plastic cups making their way into my room. Ok...nothing too unusual there. Then today my roommate told me that her 2 friends were coming to stay the night. Fine. Would have liked advance notice, especially since I have work at 9:30 AM tomorrow, but again. w/e. Then, for lunch today I wanted a smartones frozen meal. Well, I open my freezer and found a bottle of vodka. I was pretty surprised. Then, I looked around and found another bottle of vodka in the freezer. In addition, there were two water bottles with a darker liquid in them. As I found out later, they were tequila and rum. Then, after looking around the room, I noticed that there were 4 bottles near her desk as well as shot glasses on her desk. I got a really annoyed. Then, I went shopping and came back. Well, she and her 2 friends came in at that point. Then, another friend came. Then, 3 people came in from my building. Now, there were 7 people in my room besides myself at 9:00 at night. I am wearing my bathrobe and trying to prepare for the class that I have to teach tomorrow. They are so loud that even with my earphones in and the TV blaring into my ears, I can hear them and the music over the TV. Then, they start doing shots on my floor. Yeah. As if that wasn't enough, they were doing shots on MY $100 carpet. The one that my grandmother bought me. The one that I need as my carpet for next year too. Oh yeah, as if everything above wasn't bad enough, not a SINGLE person in the room acknowledged my presence. Not even a hello. That shouldn't be a surprise though, because the people in my dorm like to knock on the door, ask for my roommate, and then leave. Or, they walk in, invite my roommate to grab lunch/dinner with a whole group of people, and don't bother to even ask me if I'd like to go.




WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO COMMON COURTESY?!?!?!?!?!??!?!??!??!?!?!

 

[Fluxuated]

Dump their booze down the toilet, that'll get their attention, and it's Guaranteed that they will indeed notice your presence.

 

[Number_6]

Or, go for a walk to "get some air" and casually mention in passing to a Resident Assistant(or whatever the equivalent is for your University) about possible underage drinking going on. Let them sort it out.

 

[tigsmom]

Hopefully you have chosen another room mate for next year.
You have 2 choices - ignore them or turn them in. Its your room too and you have paid good money to be there so you have every right to speak up. You can throw everyone out who doesn't belong there, but that won't make you friends. Princess #1 went to a dry campus school for a year and a half and there was more booze than you could believe. She was hoping things would be better when she transferred (she got into a dry building), but its the same old thing. She has found a great room mate for the next 2 years so she is happy about that.
Its your life and you will only be treated poorly if you allow yourself to be. Have another talk with your room mate and tell her enough is enough.

 

[maelstrom]

You need to alert your RA to your roommate's behaviour.

 

[Nemo14]

DS is going through the same problems at Hofstra, except that in his case, there are drugs involved too. Your semester must be nearly over, so you probably won't get any changes made now, but plan for a different roomate next year.

 

[Erika]

Common courtesy? What's that?

Hopefully next year you'll end up with someone who respects you more. It is bad enough when a friend lets you down, much less a person you have to live with.

 

[WDW Monorail]

It is too bad that you are having these experiences.

This was one of the few reasons why I opted not to go to Rutgers, even though it is a heck of a lot cheaper than where I will be going.

 

[Pongo]

I've had to deal with much of the same you are dealing with since college started. Yes, there have been many nights where I've wanted to strangle my roommates and the people who live on my floor, but I've learned to live with it, and they really are a great group of people (when they're sober).

 

[joanna71985]

I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I don't have to deal with this for school (I am a commuter). But I am hoping I won't have any problems when I go down on my College Program in FL (so far I haven't before).

 

[ClemsonTigger]

It is too bad that you are having these experiences.

This was one of the few reasons why I opted not to go to Rutgers, even though it is a heck of a lot cheaper than where I will be going.

I don't think this situation is in any way unique to Rutgers...

Like Mad said, you don't have to stand for it, but do it in a way that provides the type of courtesy you would want. Tell her that your room is a shared space and you need to be respected. State clearly that you do not want drinking or "a party" in the room. This is a request, if it happens again it will be reported to the RA. If you do report it to the RA, cc the housing office. You will get appropriate action.

Just dumping the booze or behind the back actions will only lead to retribution and escallation.

 

[unkadug]

Food for thought:

At some schools, both roommates are held responsible for any rule infractions when caught.

One for doing it and one for not stopping/reporting it.

 

[MAF]

Trust me, I had the same problems my freshman year of college. My whole floor were a bunch of drunks and I just wasn't interested at that time in getting wasted. As soon as everyone found out that I didn't drink, I became like the outcast. People would just barge into my room looking for my roomate w/out ever acknowledging that I was there. It was horrible. My roomate was a psycho and an alcholic. Once I came home to find our whole fridge filled w/ beer and no room for me to put anything in there. I guess that's why I went home on the weekends a lot. I would come back after the weekend to find my food and other stuff missing and destroyed. It was horrible, but I lived. Just wanting to let you know that I feel your pain! :wave:

 

[JimboJones123]

That is why I let go of any far away college and lived w/Ma and Pa. I commuted the big 18 miles north to Denton, TX. It was hard enough trying to escape it while crossing campus after night classes. And any SA's that you would think would not have Drug/Drinking problems are just as bad if not worse than the Greeks. Sometimes worse because they feel like they have more to prove. The Greeks are pretty straight forward on Drinking being preferred. Drugs, not so much. But the SA's -- they have no problem promoting their Drug agenda.

It sucks that it has to be a battle. But it does. There is no escaping. Living off campus DOES NOT HELP, especially if you are one who likes an early evening on the weekends.

 

[YQY747]

Before you go turn them in, which could get awkard bewteen you and your roomate, just weather this storm then try and talk to them tomorrow. I don't know how strict your university could be on underage drinking, for us it doesn't matter what age you are or where you do it, as long as its not in a glass bottle that can break.

And how much longer could your year possibly be? We were done a couple weeks ago.

 

[songbird]

Talk to your RA NOW. If the powers that be come into the room and see the booze in your freezer, you could be in as much trouble as your roommate because they won't know if it is hers or yours.

 

[ClemsonTigger]

Before you go turn them in, which could get awkard bewteen you and your roomate, just weather this storm then try and talk to them tomorrow. I don't know how strict your university could be on underage drinking, for us it doesn't matter what age you are or where you do it, as long as its not in a glass bottle that can break.

And how much longer could your year possibly be? We were done a couple weeks ago.

There was a alcohol poisoning death at Rutgers a few years ago, one at Rider (also in NJ) last year, and an alcohol related death at TCNJ two years ago. You will get attention from administration!

 

[wedway71]

or........

Drink a bunch of THEIR Booze. Get sick and barf all over the roomies room.

 

[figmentisgreat]

Hey all...thank you for your kind (to me) and not so kind (to my roommate, haha) words. To answer a couple of questions and as a little follow up...the semester ends in 2 1/2 weeks. I am going home this weekend too, so I will have less than 20 days of being in the room! Next year, I am living in an on campus single, so I won't have to put up with any of this crap.
I'm too much of a wuss to confront her, and I don't know if the aggravation would be worth it. I am very lucky though, because Bob, my boyfriend of the past 2 years, lives at Rutgers as well. He has a single though. Well, he is so incredibly nice that he offered to let me stay the week so I don't have to put up with her crap. This came about because there was even more stuff that happened yesterday. Essentially, I didn't go to bed until nearly 1:30. By the time I almost fell asleep (2:20AM), they walked back in drunk and were very loud. By the time I actually fell asleep (3AM), they had already fallen asleep. 4 1/2 hours later I woke up to get ready for work. When I was getting ready, I noticed that my roommate had woken up and was getting ready for the day. Meanwhile, HER FRIENDS ARE STILL ON MY FLOOR. I figured that she just got up early, but nope. I got on the bus to work and she was right behind me! She just left wtwo people that I don't even know in my room alone with all my stuff. As the topper, whe I got home from work, lunch, and the gym, I walked into my room, and they were STILL THERE! I asked when they were leaving and they said they were staying for another night. I walked out of the room and called Bob. Then, he came and we took everything important from my room and put it in his. Now, I'm staying in his room with him.

So, that has been the saga. I do think I will casually mention to my RA that if she were to happen to do a room check and find alcohol that it isn't mine... THANK YOU EVERYONE! I really needed you guys

 

[Nemo14]

Hey all...thank you for your kind (to me) and not so kind (to my roommate, haha) words. To answer a couple of questions and as a little follow up...the semester ends in 2 1/2 weeks. I am going home this weekend too, so I will have less than 20 days of being in the room! Next year, I am living in an on campus single, so I won't have to put up with any of this crap.
I'm too much of a wuss to confront her, and I don't know if the aggravation would be worth it. I am very lucky though, because Bob, my boyfriend of the past 2 years, lives at Rutgers as well. He has a single though. Well, he is so incredibly nice that he offered to let me stay the week so I don't have to put up with her crap. This came about because there was even more stuff that happened yesterday. Essentially, I didn't go to bed until nearly 1:30. By the time I almost fell asleep (2:20AM), they walked back in drunk and were very loud. By the time I actually fell asleep (3AM), they had already fallen asleep. 4 1/2 hours later I woke up to get ready for work. When I was getting ready, I noticed that my roommate had woken up and was getting ready for the day. Meanwhile, HER FRIENDS ARE STILL ON MY FLOOR. I figured that she just got up early, but nope. I got on the bus to work and she was right behind me! She just left wtwo people that I don't even know in my room alone with all my stuff. As the topper, whe I got home from work, lunch, and the gym, I walked into my room, and they were STILL THERE! I asked when they were leaving and they said they were staying for another night. I walked out of the room and called Bob. Then, he came and we took everything important from my room and put it in his. Now, I'm staying in his room with him.

So, that has been the saga. I do think I will casually mention to my RA that if she were to happen to do a room check and find alcohol that it isn't mine... THANK YOU EVERYONE! I really needed you guys

Boy does this sound familiar. DS left his cell phone charging in his room one afternoon, and his drunken roomate and friends took it and sent some rather tasteles text messages to a few people. He has since moved all of his valuables to his GF's common area of her suite. He went to the resident director at the beginning of the semester, and her suggestion was that he sit down with his suitemates and the RA to iron things out....as if they're going to admit that they're doing drugs in the room. He asked for a transfer, and the only room that they showed him that was available was equally bad. It's really irritating, knowing how expensive campus housing is!