Church Weddings or Not

[Gucci65]

I often enjoy telling my mother that one night she will be awakened at 3am by a phone call...me, in Vegas, wearing a black leather mini skirt and fishnet stockings yelling into the phone 'WE GOT MARRIED!'. She is not amused :lol:

You truly are a wicked queen!! :fork:

It appeals to my nasty sense of humor. :lol:

 

[barnum42]

I like looking at churches, the styles, the stained glass, etc.

Speaking of attractive churches, I used to live in the city of Bath, which has an impressive church – Bath Abbey. One time I was walking through the Abbey Churchyard when I saw a mother and her two kids say something that had me laughing. You cannot write comedy like this.

The mother was trying to control her kids and was saying to them “Look! Look! That’s Bath Abbey. Listen, pay attention and you might learn something. That’s Bath Abbey”.

The little boy turns to her and says, “What is it?”

The Mother replies, “It’s a Cathedral”

:lol: :brick:

 

[Maria]

I completely understand those who are very religious who want to do the whole church service/wedding thing, and I am not saying anything bad about it. since my husband and I are not religious, we found that when others before us were getting married, we found that even though it is a wedding, how few times their names were said, and how little they got to stand next to each other. As a personal preference, we wanted to make sure that it was about us, and how we were there to not only get married, but to share in our joy with our families and friends.

Though, I should say that the millions of weddings we have gone to in the last year and a half, most all of them were catholic. the ones that were methodist and ...lutheran...I think....were fairly quick, and put a bit more emphasis on the couple.

As a Catholic, I can tell you that the Catholic ceremonies are longer because they are a Mass with a wedding in it... two people celebrating a Sacrament during the Mass. How many times the names of the couple are mentionned and how the sermon is, depends on the priest you pick to marry you. I have witnessed beautiful sermons about marriage and the couple, and of course, I´ve witnessed others... If I ever get married, it would be cool to have one of my friends who are priests and have known me for years.

 

[Wckd Queen]

You truly are a wicked queen!! :fork:

It appeals to be nasty sense of humor. :lol:

Mwahahahahahahaa!! :drevil:

Actually, she's pretty immune to me now, but it's still fun to get that initial rise out of her :lol:

 

[barnum42]

If I ever get married...

I do not think I’m alone in saying that based upon your personality exhibited on the boards and your looks that it’s more a case of when not if. :wave:

 

[Maria]

I do not think I’m alone in saying that based upon your personality exhibited on the boards and your looks that it’s more a case of when not if. :wave:

Thanks! :kiss: (you earned a rep. point for that) LOL
As my mom says, it´s more a matter of "the older you get, the pickier you are"... Scary!

 

[barnum42]

Thanks! :kiss: (you earned a rep. point for that) LOL
As my mom says, it´s more a matter of "the older you get, the pickier you are"... Scary!

I can identify with that :lol: My mum is putting my extended batchelorhood down to the O'Gorman blood, as aparently with the exception of her father all the O'Gormans married later in life.

 

[Debbie]

My grandma had me pumped up about my big wedding production since I was a tot. In my teens and twenties, I felt marriage wasn't in the cards unless I got my 'big production'. So, I married the first person who was eligible to marry in the Church; I couldn't settle for anything less. I had to have the 10 foot train, the big 19th century Church etc. Well, when I was walking down the aisle, escorted by my father, my train got caught on one of the candelabras and was coming down on my dress. Everyone waved for me to stop; they had the look of panic in their eyes! Now, I feel that it was a sign :hammer: ...... I should have turned around and bowed out with dignity.
All I can do is chalk it up and put that experience in my files entitled "if I knew then what I know now". I remarried before a justice of the peace, we spent about $500.00 on everything, catering our wedding ourselves, and the only regret I have is that we didn't take a honeymoon. Hopefully for our 10 year anniversary on October 15th, we can go somewhere for the weekend.
One question I do feel qualified to ask a young girl planning her wedding is this: Do you love him enough to marry him anywhere? Would you give up your big production if you could be guaranteed a lifetime with this person? Sometimes the answer can be disturbing...........and it's like seeing myself in the mirror all over again.

 

[barnum42]

One question I do feel qualified to ask a young girl planning her wedding is this: Do you love him enough to marry him anywhere? Would you give up your big production if you could be guaranteed a lifetime with this person? Sometimes the answer can be disturbing...........and it's like seeing myself in the mirror all over again.

That's a good question. I often get the feeling that many people are in love with the idea of getting married and all the glitter that entails, rather than being in so in love with someone you want to get married to them.

Regarding your past dream to get married in a 19th Century church - were you not interested in getting married in an old chruch? :lol: Couldn't resist, just because we have some really old churches over in the UK :animwink:

 

[Debbie]

Regarding your past dream to get married in a 19th Century church - were you not interested in getting married in an old chruch? :lol: Couldn't resist, just because we have some really old churches over in the UK :animwink:

LOL :lol: . I bet you have some really, really old chuches! Over here, the old churches that make for beautiful wedding pictures cost the most money to rent.

My husband wants me to annull my first marriage so we can get married in the Church (he's a widower in their eyes :lookaroun ). Not only has the Church cracked down on this, but I feel that until we are regular churchgoers, why bother?

 

[mightyduck]

We never planned for a church wedding, much to my parents' disappointment. My husband and I don't agree on religion, and he couldn't marry in a Catholic church (and I wouldn't marry in *his* church) so we had a civil ceremony.

As some of you know, his deployment forced our hand and I married him in the living room with a local mayor presiding. And Debbie, like you said, I knew it was right because I didn't care about the spectacle--just being married.

We held another ceremony upon his return where we wrote our own vows--it was lovely. But I never got crazy about the day--just about having the groom back in time from the Persian Gulf!

 

[TAC]

My husband wants me to annull my first marriage so we can get married in the Church (he's a widower in their eyes :lookaroun ). Not only has the Church cracked down on this, but I feel that until we are regular churchgoers, why bother?

My father passed away a number of years ago. My mom wanted an annulment in order to marry again. The priest, (and whomever else was going to make the final decision) initially said NO. My mom said "What about having a father to raise my two Catholic sons?" They then said: "Ok, for a $1000..." :fork:

My mom said GOODBYE to the Catholic church.

And priests wonder why people stop coming to church, leave the church, etc.

 

[barnum42]

My father passed away a number of years ago. My mom wanted an annulment in order to marry again. The priest, (and whomever else was going to make the final decision) initially said NO. My mom said "What about having a father to raise my two Catholic sons?" They then said: "Ok, for a $1000..." :fork:

My mom said GOODBYE to the Catholic church.

And priests wonder why people stop coming to church, leave the church, etc.

$1000! What happened to the vows of poverty?

 

[Erika]

My father passed away a number of years ago. My mom wanted an annulment in order to marry again. The priest, (and whomever else was going to make the final decision) initially said NO. My mom said "What about having a father to raise my two Catholic sons?" They then said: "Ok, for a $1000..." :fork:

My mom said GOODBYE to the Catholic church.

And priests wonder why people stop coming to church, leave the church, etc.

That doesn't happen everywhere. Just so you know :wave:

There is corruption within every institution. The church is no exception to that, unfortunately.

 

[TAC]

That doesn't happen everywhere. Just so you know :wave:

There is corruption within every institution. The church is no exception to that, unfortunately.

Oh, I'm not saying it is that way everywhere. It just leaves a bad taste in your mouth.

Now, I am a member of a growing Christian church that both my wife and I are very happy with. In fact, since our Church did a "church plant" to an area a little North of the original, I have taken my mom to the new one (same values, etc). She loves it!

 

[Wckd Queen]

My father passed away a number of years ago. My mom wanted an annulment in order to marry again. The priest, (and whomever else was going to make the final decision) initially said NO. My mom said "What about having a father to raise my two Catholic sons?" They then said: "Ok, for a $1000..." :fork:

My mom said GOODBYE to the Catholic church.

And priests wonder why people stop coming to church, leave the church, etc.

In much the same way, my uncle was married in the church and it didn't work out. When he wanted to remarry, he went for an annulment based on the fact that his previous wife had not wanted children and was told ok, for $10,000 we will grant an annulment! Well, he didn't get the annulment, and he and his new wife had a little ceremony at the catering hall. They must have done something right, because they just celebrated 20 years married and have two daughters. Maybe they charge for annulments like that to try and discourage people from getting them? :veryconfu

 

[TAC]

Maybe they charge for annulments like that to try and discourage people from getting them? :veryconfu

Well, it isn't quite the same. I was 10 when my mom wanted to get an annulment. She told me (later) she told the priest: "My husband is DEAD!"

Charging anything more than $100 for an annulment because the spouse is deceased is "blackmail."

 

[The Mom]

My father passed away a number of years ago. My mom wanted an annulment in order to marry again. The priest, (and whomever else was going to make the final decision) initially said NO. My mom said "What about having a father to raise my two Catholic sons?" They then said: "Ok, for a $1000..." :fork:

My mom said GOODBYE to the Catholic church.

And priests wonder why people stop coming to church, leave the church, etc.

That's very strange. Why would she need an annulment to get remarried? The vows are until death do us part, so God in effect ended the marriage. I've known a few RC widows and widowers who have gotten remarried, and annulment of their first marriage was never even mentioned.

 

[The Mom]

Thanks! :kiss: (you earned a rep. point for that) LOL
As my mom says, it´s more a matter of "the older you get, the pickier you are"... Scary!

As MY mom always said, "Better to spend your life wanting someone you don't have than spending even a year having someone you don't want." :lol:

 

[mightyduck]

That's very strange. Why would she need an annulment to get remarried? The vows are until death do us part, so God in effect ended the marriage. I've known a few RC widows and widowers who have gotten remarried, and annulment of their first marriage was never even mentioned.

I was thinking the same thing, Mom. No annulments were needed for any of the Catholic widows/widowers I've known, either. It may be a diocese thing, though, because I also know that the "donation" required for a wedding varies from parish to parish, too.