Am i crazy to breakup with someone over WDW? Advice PLease!!!

[BawanaBrandon]

Here is the background:

I was raised on all things Disney, matter of fact I was brought home from the hospital in a Disneyland Blanket. Every year growing up it was either trips to Disneyland or WDW, and when we weren’t in the parks, we spent our time either planning the next trip, watching TV specials (RIP Inside Out), or even to get a little of the Disney fix, we would pile in the car and head down to the nearest Disney store. Matter of fact, we never went anywhere on vaca besides there, it was just assumed that’s where we would be going.

Now as an adult, and a DVC owner, I try and make it down to the world at least 2 to 3 times a year, with either my family or just solo. It’s were I feel at home. The place I love to be.

And now my choice...

I’ve been with NDL( Non Disney Lover) for two years now, and well, let’s just say she hates all things that have to do with Disney, and even mentioning going to the parks for a vacation is simply not allowed. Every time I leave to go on a trip alone, its hassle and more hassle about how dumb it is that I love this (as she likes to call it) "theme park" so much. And the sad part is I have to go alone, and I don’t get to share the smiles, and the laughs, the food, the dole whips, the corny jokes, parades, fireworks, the romance of this amazing place, and most importantly, I don’t get to share the place I love with someone that I love

We have had every discussion in the book about what my reasons are for this love, and desire to go to wdw are. And well there not her memories, so she doesn’t really understand.

Maybe I’m crazy but, this effects me extremely, and it really puts doubts in my mind about her. Please tell me if I’m being crazy for feeling this way? Is this a dumb reason? Any advice would help.

Wishing Everyone the Best

BawanaBrandon



Please help.

 

[Wilt Dasney]

My snap analysis:

You would be crazy to break up with someone because she dislikes Disney.

You would not be crazy to break up with someone because she demeans and belittles your passions, and refuses to spend time with you unless it's entirely on her terms.

In an ideal relationship, you'd agree to spend less time and money traveling to Disney, and she'd agree to bite the bullet and come along on those less frequent occasions when you did go.

 

[Master Yoda]

You did the right thing. Disney is a major part of your life. For your partner not going to Disney was a big part of her life. The two types just don't mix. It does not make either of you bad people just different people. Never change who you are to suit another.

 

[CP_alum08]

Here is the background:

I was raised on all things Disney, matter of fact I was brought home from the hospital in a Disneyland Blanket. Every year growing up it was either trips to Disneyland or WDW, and when we weren’t in the parks, we spent our time either planning the next trip, watching TV specials (RIP Inside Out), or even to get a little of the Disney fix, we would pile in the car and head down to the nearest Disney store. Matter of fact, we never went anywhere on vaca besides there, it was just assumed that’s where we would be going.

Now as an adult, and a DVC owner, I try and make it down to the world at least 2 to 3 times a year, with either my family or just solo. It’s were I feel at home. The place I love to be.

And now my choice...

I’ve been with NDL( Non Disney Lover) for two years now, and well, let’s just say she hates all things that have to do with Disney, and even mentioning going to the parks for a vacation is simply not allowed. Every time I leave to go on a trip alone, its hassle and more hassle about how dumb it is that I love this (as she likes to call it) "theme park" so much. And the sad part is I have to go alone, and I don’t get to share the smiles, and the laughs, the food, the dole whips, the corny jokes, parades, fireworks, the romance of this amazing place, and most importantly, I don’t get to share the place I love with someone that I love

Personally, I think relationships should be give and take, so this conversation could be about anything. Your NDL should be able to put up with this 'theme park' for at least a couple days if it really makes you happy and you are both in a loving relationship. Assuming you do things with/for her that you don't particularly love to do (ie: going to the mall, walking her stupid tiny dog, watching sappy movies, etc.) she should be doing the same for you.

So yes, breaking up simply over Disney may be a bit extreme but breaking up because the relationship is one sided is completely different and totally justifiable.

 

[blackthidot]

What does Kenny Powers say to people all the time?

 

[powlessfamily4]

Look .... I don't like anything about fishing. But I go to a cabin with my husband and fish because I know it is something he loves and I want to see the person I love happy. I don't get snarky and do a good job at finding something fun and exciting about it. Before I know it I am actually having fun. When he says lets rent a cabin and go fishing... I smile and say "Lets"!

On the other hand.... I know he thinks Disney is okay but doesn't get the repeat trips. But he goes because he loves me and he ends up having a great time.

I guess what I am trying to say is that when you love someone you want to see them happy. This is something important to you, that alone deserves respect. Can you live without Disney? Can you live without her? I don't envy your dilemma.

 

[MichWolv]

Wilt Dasney speaks intelligently.

My wife likes scuba diving. I do not. So she goes scuba diving now and then without me. I don't laugh at her for liking scuba diving, and she doesn't call me a coward for not liking it.

I like vacations that involve amusement parks, hikes, sightseeing. She likes vacations that involve relaxing. We do some of my kind of vacation, and some of hers. And on some vacations, she'll lay by the pool while I go do something else.

I am Jewish. She is Catholic. I help her celebrate Christmas. She helps me celebrate Passover.

Those kinds of things are what being in an adult relationship is about. If either you or she is not willing to accept such differences or make such compromises, then the relationship isn't built for the long term.

 

[C&D]

You seem to be using 'Disney' as the example but I believe there is much deeper things wrong with this relationship. And the ultimate question, irregardless of example, are you better with or without each other?

 

[2princesses]

I have a friend who had a similar situation....His wife hated everything Disney, he loved it....so he stopped going because she didn't like it and she made it so miserable every time he wanted to go. As it turns out after years of marriage she left him and as he went through the process of putting his life back together, he realized it wasn't just Disney she didn't like about him, it was everything that he enjoyed as hobbies/past times. So what I am saying is, if this is just isolated to Disney, then it's ok accept each others differences...But if you step back and notice that it is so much more then just a vacation spot she doesn't want in her life, you might want to give a little thought as to if she is the right person for you. Good Luck!

 

[ddbowdoin]

Relationships are a two way street... you have to give and take, push and pull. Hey we all love WDW, sometimes it's over the top... especially when dealing with people who are "NDL's" but at the same time you can't let ANYONE, never mind your partner, belittle your passions. That's disrespectful... if people drop the "isn't that for kids" bomb on me... that is their opinion, but they should keep crap like that to themselves. It's frustrating how people at work give me crap for my Disney stuff on my desk and how I love WDW, but if I say "yeah, well it beats wasting my money on alcohol every weekend in an attempt to bury my emotions"... I'd get fired.

 

[ddbowdoin]

I have a friend who had a similar situation....His wife hated everything Disney, he loved it....so he stopped going because she didn't like it and she made it so miserable every time he wanted to go. As it turns out after years of marriage she left him and as he went through the process of putting his life back together, he realized it wasn't just Disney she didn't like about him, it was everything that he enjoyed as hobbies/past times. So what I am saying is, if this is just isolated to Disney, then it's ok accept each others differences...But if you step back and notice that it is so much more then just a vacation spot she doesn't want in her life, you might want to give a little thought as to if she is the right person for you. Good Luck!

sometimes something as "stupid" as a Disney passion can bring out peoples true feelings and character... at the end of the day you have to take care of yourself.

 

[sweetpee_1993]

I think everyone here has had good stuff to say.

Relationships are give & take. Even if a hobby or interest isn't shared there should be mutual respect and support for each other in what their interests are even if they aren't yours. What you described sounds like you are belittled and ostracized for your interest. Personally, I wouldn't want to be with someone who treated me that way. If it bothers you now it's not likely to get better unless the attitude towards you and your interests changes. Yeah, it's 2 years to walk away from but it's a lifetime of what that 2 years has been that you'll be gaining. How does that thought make you feel? Go with your gut. If it feels wrong............ :shrug:



Similar situation: Our dearest friends are also huge Disney fans although they don't obsess as bad as me (LOL) or go as often as us. Their daughter, now grown, was raised on the awesomeness of all things Disney and the magic is extremely real for her there. The daughter was dating a guy very seriously. His only experience at WDW with his family was a disaster. Her family talked him into going on a family vacation with them and on many levels this was an ultimate test for this poor guy. If he didn't "get" the magic the daughter was totally prepared to cut him loose (she TOLD me this!). As it turned out, he was immediately taken in and was converted. That happy trip totally sealed the deal for both the daughter and the boyfriend. They were all googly-eyed for each other before but they were madly head-over-heals after the trip. They're now happily married and you'll never guess where they honeymooned! LOL! Just so you see, you're not the first to put this weight on the Disney hinge. For some people it's important enough to be understood. For others having someone who can share that part of them is essential. It's up to you decide.

 

[plaz10]

It's not the fact that it is Disney that she doesn't like...it's that she won't even go with you. Like many of the above posters say, relationships are give and take. My boyfriend enjoys Disney World but is nowhere near the status of us here on the forums. But he knows it's my happiest place on Earth and there is no place I'd rather be.

She should want to see you in "your glory" enjoying your passion regardless of what it may be. My boyfriend and I already decided that our next vacation will be Vegas. He has been wanting to go for years yet our past 3 (soon to be 4) vacations have been to Disney World. So while I would love to go back to Disney, he wants to try something new. And this is where the "give" comes in because I have to give up my trip so he can choose the destination. (little does he know my family is planning their annual vacation there instead of the beach next year...so we're going anyways! :lol: But "our" vacation will be Vegas.)

It's not the Disney aspect, it's the belittling of your favorite place aspect. No relationship is ever going to be 100% we love all the exact same things and places and we never fight about anything. I think breaking up with her is needed just because she won't "give" at all...and making you go on vacation by yourself is just mean! (IMO) Good Luck! Hope it all works out for the best!

 

[wvdisneyfamily]

My snap analysis:

You would be crazy to break up with someone because she dislikes Disney.

You would not be crazy to break up with someone because she demeans and belittles your passions, and refuses to spend time with you unless it's entirely on her terms.

In an ideal relationship, you'd agree to spend less time and money traveling to Disney, and she'd agree to bite the bullet and come along on those less frequent occasions when you did go.

Well said.

 

[Hakunamatata]

If she knows how much it means to you and yet she is unwilling, then I say find a curb with her name on it and kick her to it. There is much more wrong with the equation than her dislike of Disney if she truly knows what it means to you.

 

[oommggitskait]

My snap analysis:

You would be crazy to break up with someone because she dislikes Disney.

You would not be crazy to break up with someone because she demeans and belittles your passions, and refuses to spend time with you unless it's entirely on her terms.

In an ideal relationship, you'd agree to spend less time and money traveling to Disney, and she'd agree to bite the bullet and come along on those less frequent occasions when you did go.

This is EXACTLY what I was thinking. It would most certainly be crazy to break up with someone for not liking something as much as you did, or at all for that matter. It would not be crazy though if that person didn't make an effort in this and other areas of your life/relationship to come to a common ground or appreciate your interests for what they are. My boyfriend is an avid homebrewer and loves all things beer. I like beer, but not nearly as much as him! But I make an effort to act interested and attend different beer events because it matters to him and it makes him happy. And vise versa, like him agreeing to a WDW vacation!

What does Kenny Powers say to people all the time?

I play real sports, not tryin to be the best at exercising.

 

[blackthidot]

I play real sports, not tryin to be the best at exercising.

Hahaha not quite.

 

[MickeyPeace]

I'll keep this one really simple. Every relationship is different, but what remains the same are the morals, values and standards you set for yourself. I personally would not stop going to WDW because my partner doesn't enjoy it. You do need to find a compromise if you love each other and are both willing to make it work. If so, that shouldn't be a problem. You can go alone (like I did in a similar situation and had great times) or with friends while you allow the same for your partner. Then have some vacations together.

If your relationship problems really are deeper issues, like someone said, maybe your partner wants to make you feel bad or make you unhappy, well then the answer is obvious. You should not be together. But not because of Disney, because that person doesn't fit with the standards, morals or values you have set for yourself.

 

[cowanfamily]

Dump her! It will only get worse. You will continue to give and she will continue to take.
I agree with most on this board, your problems are deeper than you realize.
Get out now, go get some pixie dust and start over!

 

[oommggitskait]

Hahaha not quite.

It seemed to be the most appropriate for this website. But I knew what you were aiming at