How I miss the TTA narration
It's not an entire attraction, but I angrily miss the old narration for the Tomorrowland Transit Authority (TTA) or Blue Line, as it were. The new narration is the most flavorless piece of nothing that Disney has put together. It is little more than a senseless sanitization of fun and character from a great respite attraction, all for little or no purpose other than a plug or two for a gift shop. If that's what they wanted, why not give it some character, such as a deep and official voice saying;
"For our interstellar travelers in need of a gift for that lttle green boy or girl on the home planet, stop at _________ for the latest in Tomorrowland non-radioactive space gizmos, reasonably priced for the alien on an allowance. Free shipping to participating planetary spaceports. All cosmic credit cards accepted."
I came up with that in 4 minutes, with a phone call interruption in the middle. And I must humbly say that it is ten times better than anything in the current version
In our last trip I rode the TTA once and was angry and depressed for the rest of the day. Literally. I still had fun doing other things, but the disappointment was always in the back of my mind.
How Lassiter and the gang could have seen this as an improvement is the most notable piece of stupidity that Disney has committed in some time. Let's all e-mail Lassiter to bring it back, or we will refuse to buy souvenirs in the Magic Kingdom until he does. I'm on board for such a souvenir boycott.
Look, it would take virtually no additional expense to switch it back to the old narration. I challenge anyone to write in with a cogent viewpoint that favors the new nothing that has replaced the silly but wonderful, "Mr. Tom Morrow . . " and "For our intergalactic travelers . . ." They were classic. They were clever. They were fun. Why oh why did anyone think that the new anemia is an improvement? No one, and I literally mean no one, could see this as a plussing; it is the most notable and unnecessary minussing in the parks that I have seen.
A few weeks ago, we offered to come down at my own expense to record the old narration. I have a deep voice and my wife can speak clearly yet dreamily. So far, Disney has not accepted. A great company admits its mistakes and tries to make amends. This is one thing, a small thing, but indicative of so much more.
