Ok. Time for me to get real. Beware...LONG rant and lots of negativity ahead. If anyone can help me, it's this group.
I hate running. I have for 30+ years. I have associated running with being the literal worst thing for as long as I can remember. I never ran as a kid. I was always "sick" or "injured" when it was time to run the mile at school. I was the artsy kid, not a jock or athlete.
I attempted to start running about 7 years ago, did C25k and ended up with terrible knee pain about 3 weeks in. Ended up at OI and they pretty much told me "you'll never be a runner." Unless I wanted to go through lots of physical therapy. More negativity associated with running.
I've been overweight my whole life. I've always thought I'm too fat to run. A couple years ago when I was over 300 pounds I got a hair-brained idea that I was going to run the Disney Marathon before I turned 40. I also won a free year membership to Sanford Profile and I managed to lose 70 pounds the 1st year. I started working out more on Profile just because I had the extra energy.
I decided to giving running another shot about a year and a half ago. I got fitted for running shoes at 605 and started c25k again. No knee pain this time (yay!) but I could never make it past week 3. Running for more than 5 consecutive minutes was impossible on the treadmill. So I'd start, and restart, and start and restart c25k. Dreams of a full marathon before March 2019 were quickly fading from my mind.
I was at Disney in January during the marathon. I didn't participate this year. I was totally silently judging everyone I saw walking around with medals. If THESE people can do the Disney Marathon and if THOSE people can do the Dopey challenge...then my *** can do at least the half marathon!
I came home with new motivation. I signed up for a few 5Ks and when my birthday rolled around in March I was gifted with a month of personal training. I chose my AMAZING trainer who is also a runner to help me. I couldn't run for more than 3 minutes without having to walk. Slowly, but surely my stamina and pace increased. I ran the Avera 10k without walking.,..SLOWLY but I didn't walk. It was nice and cool in March & April...great beginner running weather...
Then the heat came...I can NOT run on a treadmill anymore...I just can't...I also can't run in this heat. I'm way too fat to deal with the heat/humidity right now. I just got home from a run and I had a mental breakdown at mile 2.25...like sitting down on the curb and literally bawling breakdown. I finished my run but I was miserable the whole time.
I have this awful habit of never finishing anything I start...I need to get out of my own head and figure this **** out. I am NOT a morning person and I just started a 2nd job. I know I need to train, especially since I'm now signed up for THREE half marathons between now and February but I'm seriously ready to say f-it and sit my *** on the couch until the Sioux Falls half in September
Alright...that's my story...someone kick me in the *** now.
I think just about everyone here will have a similar story. It's tough doing what you're doing. Especially if you're doing it alone.
I was always active as a kid, come from a family populated by tall, skinny genes. Ran for about a year back in the 70s when running became popular. Was never a great runner - not fast and couldn't get my breathing right. Started again in the 90s when I started working with people who ran and/or swam daily. Did that for about a year. Over the past 10-15 years, I would get these "really need to be more active" spells and would start walking. And then stop. And eventually The Change caught up with me. And I started putting on weight, about 55-60 pounds. Then my very fit, active 6'2" almost 67 year old brother died of cancer. I'd already watched my dad atrophy after retirement. Decided I didn't want to become like my dad and my brother's death really threw me. So I joined a gym. Started the Monday morning after I retired. The trainer they assigned me wasn't a good fit -she was good, but had other things on her mind. Trainer #2 became my running buddy and friend. And then she moved to Utah. My current trainer is great, she won't take any of my crap - "are you forgetting I'm 65 years old and broke my left arm 2 years ago? No way I can press 75 pounds!".
Sounds like you're burned out. It happens. To ALL of us. My advice? Don't quit, but dial it down for a couple of weeks. Maybe switch to brisk walking most of the time and run one day a week. I think a lot of first timers - me included - get really motivated and perhaps try to do too much, too soon. Yeah, it's tough training for a half marathon. Especially if you're older or overweight to start or other things. And living in the South isn't fun when training starts in the summer. But you can do it. You've been doing it. And yes, it's in your head. That first morning of race weekend, when my alarm goes off at 2:30am for the 5k, I always think, every single time, "why the hell am I doing this?!" And then I mentally slap myself, get up and prepare to go run. After that, I'm fine.
We're not going to kick you in the rear - you're beating yourself up enough right now. But we'll give you little nudges to help you stay motivated. And encouragement.
By the way, you ARE a runner.
And yes, running on a treadmill sucks, big time....
. My knee started bothering me Friday as I was going to the airport and it felt pretty stiff after the plane ride. The next day I had ups and downs but by race morning I decided I could just take it easy. The start was fine but a couple minutes in I decided that I shouldn't continue. The worst was that I ended up walking so far to get back to the exit area that I should have just walked the race as the distance was more or less the same. Oh well, at least I got to visit a city I've never been to before.
) but it was a great way to try my new running shoes, the Nike pegasus 34! 
