Giss Neric
Well-Known Member
I do sometimes get second hand embarrassment when I see children having meltdowns and stuff near me. I just pretend I'm navigating my phone but my ears are totally glued to what is happening beside me.
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Unnecessary harsh treatment of children in public spaces at WDW
- Thread starter dsmith51
- Start date
Nemo14
Well-Known Member
When my daughter was little we could take her anywhere and she was always well behaved. Strangers would compliment us on how good she was, especially in restaurants or movie theaters. DH and I would pat ourselves on the back at what a great job we were doing parenting her, and what terrible parents those people with "unruly" kids were...................Then we had our son and learned our lesson! My mom had 7 kids and often reminded us that no 2 kids are the same, and boy was she right!
The irony now is that my daughter has a daughter who is basically a clone of her mom, while our son's son is very much his father's clone. We call it payback!
The irony now is that my daughter has a daughter who is basically a clone of her mom, while our son's son is very much his father's clone. We call it payback!
RustySpork
Oscar Mayer Memer
Finallyinflorida
Member
DryerLintFan
Premium Member
Honestly that's likely not luck. Parents who ensure their kids can rest, reset, get fed, not get too overwhelmed, those are the parents that have kids that melt down. All of us melt down under poor circumstances. With Disney, I try really hard to make sure we don't have poor circumstances because that makes meltdowns likely.
A lot of parents at Disney try to park commando with young kids and don't stick to their known schedules. This isn't all on the kids.
ninjaprincesst
Well-Known Member
No my child has been theme park commando since day 1 we go open to close. i was lucky my child never had a melt down or temper tantrum whatever you want to call it ever not in public or private, and I never told her how to act in public she just always behaved so i can't take any credit, she just always seemed to know behavior expectations, so it was all on her, just good kid.
Nemo14
Well-Known Member
only child? just asking....
graphite1326
Well-Known Member
Both my children were like that.
ninjaprincesst
Well-Known Member
yes my husband passed away when she was 2 so she is it. She was however raised with two cousins who were like sisters to her.
DVCakaCarlF
Well-Known Member
Generally speaking...you can’t expect the average adult to go from rope drop to fireworks without a break...when I see people sleeping in corners and on benches, there’s a problem.
We usually go to a park in the morning, then come back for pool or naps (for those who still take naps), and, head out for the evening.
I never understood the “do or die” all day...the resort is part of the experience, as far as I’m concerned....it is called Disney “World.”
I would guess 99% of melt downs would go away if the little ones, including the adults, had a snack, “beverage,” and a dunk in the pool.
We usually go to a park in the morning, then come back for pool or naps (for those who still take naps), and, head out for the evening.
I never understood the “do or die” all day...the resort is part of the experience, as far as I’m concerned....it is called Disney “World.”
I would guess 99% of melt downs would go away if the little ones, including the adults, had a snack, “beverage,” and a dunk in the pool.
Tanna Eros
Well-Known Member
I only had one foot in either camp. My sister ran off and left me with her kids.
I think because I was not their parent, I only saw the acting up as hitting a boiling point.
At the park I took them too regularly, there was this little enclave in the park with benches and waterfalls, and a canopy of trees overhead. It was cool from the waterfalls and shade, and one of more of the kids would fall asleep for an hour sometimes.
I wish all parks had the "Boiling Point Enclave". Let's all share some snacks and drinks in this place for while. I think they'd just get overwhelmed with everything in the park vying for their attention.
It doesn't help that, especially at an expensive park, that parents sometimes overload kids' circuits by trying to do as much as possible for their dollar.
Sirwalterraleigh
Premium Member
This has some of the best comedy material out there...enjoyable thread 
Remember one thing: people vastly inflate their expectations on a Disney trip - mostly due to the costs.
Especially if you’re not a frequent visitor.
It causes a stress factor they don’t recognize...both to parents and kids.
Remember one thing: people vastly inflate their expectations on a Disney trip - mostly due to the costs.
Especially if you’re not a frequent visitor.
It causes a stress factor they don’t recognize...both to parents and kids.
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Trackmaster
Well-Known Member
Well, kind in mind that clinically, positive reinforcement is always more effective than negative reinforcement... in the long-term at least. However, negative reinforcement can be effective in the short-term... but lead to long-term consequences. In an emergency situation it can be effective, and can also be a courtesy to other people. Its important to start the behavior correction process well before you get to a park, but also be cognoscente about trying to avoid going negative as much as possible unless its an emergency or a safety concern.
No, focusing on positive reinforcement won't turn kids into brats or lose your control over them. Negative reinforcement just won't be very effective in the long-term, and will hurt your relationship with them.
No, focusing on positive reinforcement won't turn kids into brats or lose your control over them. Negative reinforcement just won't be very effective in the long-term, and will hurt your relationship with them.
Club Cooloholic
Well-Known Member
Look we have seen adults argue with each other at WDW so kids are certainly going to do it. You have no idea what caused the outburst. Often it could be that be the kid was running away or putting themselves in danger and the parent was scared(thus the scolding). Hitting is wrong all together but we know the difference between a light spank and a "hit" and if you see a child being abused, verbally(being called a name) or physically you need to stand up for that kid. But if it's it correcting or scolding...probably a reason it happened, so think before getting involved, and maybe offer to lend a hand, if anything the "magical" world seems to bring more stress!
Minnesota disney fan
Well-Known Member
Wow, I have enjoyed this thread a lot
I just have my 2 cents worth from experience with real child abuse to relate.
When I was first married, without children, we had a neighbor across the street who brought her 2 children with to visit.
They were about 3 and 4 y/o. She told them to sit on the couch, and they sat. They did not move, did not speak, did not comment on anything, or ask for a cookie or drink. She stayed for a long while. They were like this the whole time. They looked like they had no expression on their faces the whole time and looked down at their feet. I thought it was strange behavior for younger children, but had no real experience other than rambunctious nephews
I later found out that there was abuse going on, and it made me sad that I might have done something? I just thought it was all strange is all. So, I guess acting out and getting disciplined seems more "normal" to me than the above. Just my thoughts and opinions.
I think that if more children were disciplined in the parks at the time of the incident (I mean talking with them, time out, removal from the line etc) rather than waiting til they got out of the public eye, it would be more effective. Kids are not dumb. If they act out and MOm and Dad tell them to wait til they get back to the room, and then M and D don't carry through, they learn quickly they can do anything.
My biggest complaint is the parent who ignores their kids actions as if they are invisible. You all know what I mean.
I just have my 2 cents worth from experience with real child abuse to relate.When I was first married, without children, we had a neighbor across the street who brought her 2 children with to visit.
They were about 3 and 4 y/o. She told them to sit on the couch, and they sat. They did not move, did not speak, did not comment on anything, or ask for a cookie or drink. She stayed for a long while. They were like this the whole time. They looked like they had no expression on their faces the whole time and looked down at their feet. I thought it was strange behavior for younger children, but had no real experience other than rambunctious nephews
I later found out that there was abuse going on, and it made me sad that I might have done something? I just thought it was all strange is all. So, I guess acting out and getting disciplined seems more "normal" to me than the above. Just my thoughts and opinions.
I think that if more children were disciplined in the parks at the time of the incident (I mean talking with them, time out, removal from the line etc) rather than waiting til they got out of the public eye, it would be more effective. Kids are not dumb. If they act out and MOm and Dad tell them to wait til they get back to the room, and then M and D don't carry through, they learn quickly they can do anything.
My biggest complaint is the parent who ignores their kids actions as if they are invisible. You all know what I mean.
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NelleBelle
Well-Known Member
AMEN!I cannot tell you the number of times I have seen kids climbing on railings/swinging on chains while parent(s) totally ignore behavior! Then when "Jr" falls off and is screaming because he's hurt, then the parent "tunes" in. UGH--when it involves safety and the parents are ignoring that activity, nothing drives me more nuts!!
I admit, I am absolutely guilty of "quiet", teeth-gritted, yelling at my kids when they were younger. But we've since realized that they tended to act up when they were "bored" and didn't like doing something. So standing in a long line often brought out "mischievous" behavior that was many times ignored when told to to stop. Shopping was another activity that 2 boys absolutely despised so would at times bring out these children I oft claimed were not mine. This had nothing to do with the discipline utilized at home/church/other venues. But if safety was ever a concern, the quiet yelling was abandoned for a brief, loud rebuke about the dangerous activity, followed up immediately by the potential consequences that the specific activity one, or both boys, was partaking in. Working in a trauma center, my DS knew that when I used a certain tone and the activity better stop immediately or beloved items/privelages got taken away. But now that both DS are teens, they are quite well-behave, lovely to be around, and family vacations no longer have "melt downs" over activities that are "boring"! It does get better!!
DimpledDevil18
Well-Known Member
So, I don't have kids of my own, but I'm a former Pre-K teacher who has had her fair share dealing with young kids, so I like to think I can see both sides of things. There are so many different variables at play here, but first and foremost I'm not really too phased by children having tantrums and meltdowns at Disney and parents who lose their cool. As others have mentioned, you are only seeing the end result and not all the events that led to that point. It's hot, you and the kids are tired and hungry, kids are not in their daily routines, they are overstimulated by all the sights and sounds and excitement and could be hyped up on popcorn and ice cream and other sugary snacks they may not eat at home. This alone could cause the best behaved child to act crazier than normal. And the same goes for adults too. We are all grown now and I know my family still sometimes can get snippy towards one another and may be caught speaking to each other in not the nicest tones while in the parks. Disney can be stressful at times!
Speaking as a non parent I'd like to think I wouldn't spank my child in such a public place, but I don't judge. Children need immediate feedback for their actions. At a young age they aren't going to be able to "talk about this later when we get back to the hotel." By then they've forgotten and the opportunity for them to connect their behavior to a consequence is lost. Also every child is different. For instance me and my one brother are two years apart. Yes, we would fight among each other and stuff, but if my Mom told us to sit on the couch for a time out or take something of ours away we shaped right up. My younger brother and sister though... My Mom would put them on the couch and tell them not to move and the minute her back was turned they would be up off the couch running around together. We were very seldom spanked as children, but my Mom had the wooden spoon and all she had to do was just take it out and our behavior would change. My sister on the other hand got my Mom so mad one day that she broke the spoon spanking her while my sister kept telling her "it didn't hurt." Needless to say she had to literally walk away because she was so angry and afraid she was going to really end up hurting her. So for some kids spanking doesn't work.
It's hard for parents these days. Discipline too little, you are judged if your kids are too wild. Discipline too much and you are being abusive and destroying a child's psyche. You can't win.
As far as yelling at kids in public go obviously you shouldn't be screaming, but I know I've been guilty of it in the classroom. After 5 times of, "Please stop doing that honey. You are going to get hurt," gets ignored sometimes you do need to raise your voice. You don't know how many times I've felt so guilty to have a parent walk in just as I finished "yelling" at a child because they hadn't cleaned up when I'd asked them several times before nicely. (Which of course they didn't see).
Bottom line: Perception is not always reality. Relax and have fun and try not to be super judgmental of others. I think I'd rather see a parent trying to discipline a child than them not even be watching their kids and letting them run around like animals.
Speaking as a non parent I'd like to think I wouldn't spank my child in such a public place, but I don't judge. Children need immediate feedback for their actions. At a young age they aren't going to be able to "talk about this later when we get back to the hotel." By then they've forgotten and the opportunity for them to connect their behavior to a consequence is lost. Also every child is different. For instance me and my one brother are two years apart. Yes, we would fight among each other and stuff, but if my Mom told us to sit on the couch for a time out or take something of ours away we shaped right up. My younger brother and sister though... My Mom would put them on the couch and tell them not to move and the minute her back was turned they would be up off the couch running around together. We were very seldom spanked as children, but my Mom had the wooden spoon and all she had to do was just take it out and our behavior would change. My sister on the other hand got my Mom so mad one day that she broke the spoon spanking her while my sister kept telling her "it didn't hurt." Needless to say she had to literally walk away because she was so angry and afraid she was going to really end up hurting her. So for some kids spanking doesn't work.
It's hard for parents these days. Discipline too little, you are judged if your kids are too wild. Discipline too much and you are being abusive and destroying a child's psyche. You can't win.
As far as yelling at kids in public go obviously you shouldn't be screaming, but I know I've been guilty of it in the classroom. After 5 times of, "Please stop doing that honey. You are going to get hurt," gets ignored sometimes you do need to raise your voice. You don't know how many times I've felt so guilty to have a parent walk in just as I finished "yelling" at a child because they hadn't cleaned up when I'd asked them several times before nicely. (Which of course they didn't see).
Bottom line: Perception is not always reality. Relax and have fun and try not to be super judgmental of others. I think I'd rather see a parent trying to discipline a child than them not even be watching their kids and letting them run around like animals.
I agree with you OP, and yes I have 2 kids. They act out sometimes and do require discipline, but ideally (no one is perfect) the discipline is administered in a calm manner with minimal shouting. And never with physical violence (or event the threat of it).
My observation is it's parents who scream the loudest who often have the most unruly kids.
My observation is it's parents who scream the loudest who often have the most unruly kids.
Pepper's Ghost
Well-Known Member
I couldn't get through all the posts in this thread, but had to comment on something. Apologies if to some degree I repeat someone else's comments...
Speaking not only of WDW, I appreciate the comments of parents in this thread who actually discipline their kids for rampant misbehavior. Far too many parents appear to be soft these days. I can't tell you how many times I'm in a public place and kids are running wild without a single comment from a parent. I have no kids, but it's as if some parents think that EVERYONE thinks their kids are so darn cute and playful... NOT! I can't count how many times I'm sitting at lunch on a weekend and three kids are running in a circle around something for 10 mins and passing my table every 5 seconds. Every time they knock into the table, bump me while I'm trying to eat, or they screaming while I'm trying to have a conversation.... oh, that's adorable! Kids say and do the darndest things!
Thank you to all you parents who properly discipline your kids... sincerely! I'm not saying those who beat their kids, or spank them for the most minor of infractions, but sometimes a swift thump on the bottom is necessary after not listening to your repeated pleas. If I have kids I will remember patience and restraint, but also that I have a responsibility to raise a respectable adult which sometimes requires discipline.
Just remember, the first few disciplines might be the thump on the bottom. After that happens a few times, hopefully a stern look will suffice for the rest of their childhood.
Speaking not only of WDW, I appreciate the comments of parents in this thread who actually discipline their kids for rampant misbehavior. Far too many parents appear to be soft these days. I can't tell you how many times I'm in a public place and kids are running wild without a single comment from a parent. I have no kids, but it's as if some parents think that EVERYONE thinks their kids are so darn cute and playful... NOT! I can't count how many times I'm sitting at lunch on a weekend and three kids are running in a circle around something for 10 mins and passing my table every 5 seconds. Every time they knock into the table, bump me while I'm trying to eat, or they screaming while I'm trying to have a conversation.... oh, that's adorable! Kids say and do the darndest things!
Thank you to all you parents who properly discipline your kids... sincerely! I'm not saying those who beat their kids, or spank them for the most minor of infractions, but sometimes a swift thump on the bottom is necessary after not listening to your repeated pleas. If I have kids I will remember patience and restraint, but also that I have a responsibility to raise a respectable adult which sometimes requires discipline.
Just remember, the first few disciplines might be the thump on the bottom. After that happens a few times, hopefully a stern look will suffice for the rest of their childhood.