I'm going to continue my examination of the story issues (first part linked above). The next issue I'm going to highlight may sound trivial, but is a symptom of a bigger problem. Let's take the premise of the attraction at face value. Bear with me while I do it.
Tiana is throwing a party. She needs a band for the party. So, the night of the event she journeys into the bayou searching for a band of animals. This is the impetus for the attraction. Like a burst of energy propelling an object forward, this is what drives the entire plot forward. Splash Mountain is a long attraction. ~12 minutes for the MK version. That's a lot of time for a pretty weak premise. But that's not the issue I want to highlight.
Who is Tiana? She is what many people would call a Type A personality. She began planning to open her restaurant when she was like 5 years old. She worked multiple jobs trying to earn enough money for the downpayment on her restaurant. She turned down invitations to events and parties because she was singularly focused on her dream. She is a planner. She doesn't leave things up to chance.
By the end of the film she's learned that some things are more important than her dream. That includes friendship and romance. She's also learned that sometimes things are out of her control and that she needs to accept more spontaneity in her life. But I think it's fair to say she still is good at planning and working hard. The film isn't against hard work and planning. It was a caution against magnifying them at the expense of other important values. Naveen needed more hard work and planning to get him out of the rut he was in. Tiana helped him focus his life.
So, what does all this have to do with Tiana's Bayou Adventure?
Tiana looking for a band the day of a party doesn't make sense with what we know about her. She's a planner. She plans things out years in advance. She is not going to launch an expedition into the dark recesses of the bayou looking for reptiles and small mammals the night of a party. That's out of character. If she was bound and determined to have a critter band, she would have organized it well in advance. I don't know how many of you have journeyed into a bayou before, but I can guarantee that it's not an easy environment to navigate. It's beautiful, but it's also wild and untamed. It's a little like saying, "I'm going to mount an expedition into the Amazon Rainforest so I can find some small creatures to man my cocktail bar later this evening."
It's just not the Tiana we know from the film.
One remedy is to have a crisis. Say Tiana is in the midst of her party planning and finds out that the band she had booked weeks ago has cancelled because they've come down with a cold. She is distraught until Louis suggests they find the animal band he used to play with in the bayou. With no other option, Tiana is forced to journey into the bayou to save her party. And of course, we come along to help.
This would have improved the story in multiple ways. As our protagonist, Tiana would suddenly find herself knocked off her feet. That's important for any good story. We have to see our protagonist struggle for some reason. Our protagonist would also need to exercise humility and put her trust in her friend and the audience. There would also be stakes. She might not find the critter band and then her whole party would be ruined. Her friends who admire her as a hostess might not think of her as a good party planner if the promised music doesn't emerge.
But nothing like the above happens. It's as if the creators of the attraction never stopped to wonder whether Tiana from the film would go galavanting into the bayou night of a big event. It's out of character.
What's the big deal, though? Who cares if the attraction has a different characterization? Isn't it just a ride?
Disney promises us that we will encounter our favorite characters in the park. While I'm dismayed by the IP invasion of the park, I get that this is the business model they've chosen. But if Disney promises Tiana, they should deliver Tiana. Not just something that looks like Tiana and sounds like Tiana. But something that is Tiana. Tiana is not just a voice actor or an image created by artists. She has attributes and characteristics. The fact that attraction that is said to be honoring the Princess and the Frog does not accurately reflect its character is disturbing. What we get is something that looks and sounds like Tiana, but that is hollow and soulless. Again, this is where the "Disney Junior" Tiana comes from.
