The Chit Chat Chit Chat Thread

MySmallWorldof4

MySmallWorldof4

Well-Known Member
Tony the Tigger said:
Had to switch to the computer to respond lol. I started to reference this in my TR, but that felt really weird.

We thought he was doing better as well. In the rehab facility, he participated more in the rehab than he did at the hospital. He was still easily agitated (we figured out certain meds seemed to make that worse) and panicked/stressed a lot. One brother flew down from NC and decided "we have to get him out of here." That was exactly what the Dr. warned Brian against doing. But they got him out on Tuesday. He could walk a certain distance and had some energy. Brian "moved back into" the house at least for the transition, but we thought he would end up staying there long term, even for one shift per day, alternating with a nurse. But there was no nurse yet except for a quick visit per day.

He has had congestive heart failure for a few years, has oxygen tanks, etc. I don't know whether he was weakened by the stroke and other recent issues, but simultaneously, that has worsened. When I woke up yesterday morning (feels like a week ago) there was a text from Brian around 3:30AM. (I had mentioned to him that I wasn't sleeping well and if he was up in the middle of the night, he could reach out.) I woke up around 6, saw the text, and we had a call. B was very freaked out. The "gurgling sounds" while breathing at night had gotten much worse. B was the primary caretaker (in his 20's!) when his mom passed from Ovarian cancer at a young age. She didn't want anyone else in the room but him. He said this was the same thing that happened with her before she passed.

I told him he can't have this on his head - possibly making the "wrong" decision in the middle of the night, trying to handle this by himself. He said Dad was mostly sleeping, I said but what happens when he isn't? What if something happens and he's in sudden pain and looking at B for help? I didn't want him to have to live with that. I found the number for Hospice and said please call them, they will know what to do, they will make him more comfortable - and they will tell you if they are not needed.

So hospice and one brother came, and they agreed the best plan was to deactivate the pacemaker and let whatever happens naturally unfold. He has a DNR. He wants to go. That was supposed to happen last night, we were waiting for the magnet (required for that procedure) to be hand delivered - and we didn't realize they had just left it in the mailbox. By the time we found it, the night nurse was there and she didn't know how to do that. The brother went home in the afternoon.

The wrinkle: they had put in a catheter the day before. He was still having issues and he pulled on it, which led to a lot of bleeding - and ever since, a lot of pain, which leads to more pulling. Even with morphine, this man is in pain, uncomfortable, and nothing can be done with it until we can get a doctor out, or it could get much worse.

So even on morphine, he will sleep for 3 to 5 minutes at a time, and then with slurred speech from the stroke cry out, "help me help me HELP ME! BRIAN!" (I'm amazed how loud he can be!) But there's nothing to do. Brian ends up reprimanding him like he's a child to stop messing with the catheter. It's 100% awful to hear this, to see it, every 5 minutes over and over, with the nurse right there. The stepmother is not in her right mind and gets in the way. I left about 1AM and actually went to one of my stores to drop off some merch I meant to bring earlier in the day. I got to bed around 4.

The estranged brother is not coming. His choice. The brother who was here yesterday is coming back tomorrow. (***.) Not sure about NC brother. Brian is basically alone with this, and it's not just babysitting, it's torture. I am frantically trying to finish up our taxes due in 4 days (biz taxes are complicated!) but I am on call for when they are going to do the pacemaker procedure. I don't want Brian to be by himself in case he passes right away. He got choked up telling me this morning that he was telling the closer brother: "I listened to Mom drowning, I don't wan't to do it again with Dad." omg.

And I just got the pacemaker text. Heading out.
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Tony the Tigger said:
Ok. He passed this morning.
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My deepest sympathies to you, Brian, and his family. Thank goodness the poor man is out of pain. Sending many hugs and prayers yours and Brian’s way.
 
MinnieM123

MinnieM123

Premium Member
figmentfan423 said:
Attention furbaby parents and grandparents https://www.chewy.com/?utm_source=p...0&clickref=1011lbHTQb3J&utm_term=1011lbHTQb3J is doing a blue box sale starting tomorrow
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Thanks! They have good prices on Frontline (flea, ticks). I've sometimes bought the generic (PetArmor Plus) label at Target, and the price isn't too much lower from Frontline. I try to get (any label) of them on sale, but sometimes the sales don't coincide when Jack needs a refill of the monthly ointment. Will keep Chewy in mind for the future; never used them before.
 

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