The Chit Chat Chit Chat Thread

StarWarsGirl

StarWarsGirl

Well-Known Member
In the Parks
No
Andrew C said:
DW and I were gonna do that...wait a while after we got married before we had kids. But then...2 months after our wedding..she was pregnant. Life is funny sometimes. ;)
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I was supposed to be an only child...whoops. :joyfull: That's how my brother and I ended up so far apart in age.

Tell you the truth, I'm grateful that he came around. Not just because we're extremely close and I love him, but I would NOT have wanted my parents' full attention on me. I have a feeling they would have been helicopter parents with just one child. Having two kids, especially a second one who has special needs, took a lot of the attention off of me and made me far more independent. Though in a way, it's like having two only children.
 
StarWarsGirl

StarWarsGirl

Well-Known Member
In the Parks
No
donaldtoo said:
DWifey and I dated for 4 years. She was 25 and I was 26 when we married. When our oldest was born, we were both 28, and we had been in the home we purchased for 18 months.
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My parents dated for two years. They had planned on dating for a few more years and then get married after my mom finished college, but circumstances changed that. My mom's parents pulled her college fund after she continued to date my father. They weren't happy with her life choices, even though she wasn't making bad choices; she was making choices different from what they wanted. My grandparents (well, mostly grandmother) were very controlling. And then my dad was living with his father, and his father told him he had to move out as soon as he graduated from law school, even though my dad had no job lined up. My step-grandmother most likely had something to do with that. My dad was planning on job hunting through the summer and then moving out once he had saved up some money. My grandfather dropped the bomb on him a few weeks before he graduated. Financially, my dad needed a roommate, and my mom needed to get out of her mother's house because her mother was making life hell for her. And they weren't going to live together without being married (for religious reasons). So they got married earlier than they had intended to. It took them years before they had saved up enough for a house, and then they fixed up the house before they were ready for kids.

Sad thing is that my grandparents did not come to my mother's wedding. They were so against it that they absolutely refused. And my grandfathers were friends! From college! My paternal grandfather spent over an hour on the phone with my maternal grandfather begging them to come to their wedding. Nope. After my grandmother died, my mother reestablished relations with her father, and my grandfather now approves of my father (which since my mother is the only one of his children not divorced...yeah)
 
Goofyernmost

Goofyernmost

Well-Known Member
I went out with my wife for 6 months before we got married. I was 23 and she was 31. Both sides of the family predicted that it wouldn't last. Partially because of our age difference and also because I was Catholic and she was Protestant. Well, they were right, it only stayed together for 29 years. We split up within three months of when our youngest daughter got married. Whenever, I start to feel like the marriage was a complete failure, 29 years seems like a long time for anything to last.

I make no attempt to find someone, because, well it's complicated, but, it has to do with trust issues. I would rather be alone then play the dating game again. Not to mention the fact that no woman sane enough to want to spend time with wants an old, bald, overweight grump. (and believe me, anyone that I would want to be with MUST BE SANE.) We all have some baggage, but, I would prefer that the baggage not take up a freight train car.
 
StarWarsGirl

StarWarsGirl

Well-Known Member
In the Parks
No
Eric1955 said:
I'm the exact opposite. I wish someone would set me up. I hate being single. But it's hard to meet someone when you're as shy as I am.
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Some girls prefer quieter personalities. I know I do. I would sooner date a shy guy who worked up a lot of courage to ask me out than some guy who came over to me and started hitting on me. Best thing you can do, quite honestly, is to be a gentleman. No matter how feminist a woman may say she is, she always likes it when a guy holds a door for her. And for me personally, that means watching your language (I had a crush on a guy in high school. He was gorgeous and very sweet. He dropped the f bomb one time, and that was it. I was done. I don't even remember his name now), looking at my eyes, not my chest (or butt) when I'm talking to you, and listening to what I have to say.

But don't look at it as, "I'm single and it sucks." Think of it as, "I'm single and it's a great opportunity." There's so much you can do while you're single that you can't do in a relationship. You have to think of the other person. And when you're single, you don't. It's also an opportunity to experience life. And when you've done all that, you'll have much more to bring to a relationship. And when you're not desperate to be in a relationship, you're 10x more attractive.

You've got time yet. Being single could be great for a while. :)
 
JenniferS

JenniferS

When you're the leader, you don't have to follow.
Goofyernmost said:
I went out with my wife for 6 months before we got married. I was 23 and she was 31. Both sides of the family predicted that it wouldn't last. Partially because of our age difference and also because I was Catholic and she was Protestant. Well, they were right, it only stayed together for 29 years. We split up within three months of when our youngest daughter got married. Whenever, I start to feel like the marriage was a complete failure, 29 years seems like a long time for anything to last.

I make no attempt to find someone, because, well it's complicated, but, it has to do with trust issues. I would rather be alone then play the dating game again. Not to mention the fact that no woman sane enough to want to spend time with wants an old, bald, overweight grump. (and believe me, anyone that I would want to be with MUST BE SANE.) We all have some baggage, but, I would prefer that the baggage not take up a freight train car.
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29 years is a very long time. Plus, you had (how many?) children.
Not a failure, by any measure.
 
Goofyernmost

Goofyernmost

Well-Known Member
JenniferS said:
29 years is a very long time. Plus, you had (how many?) children.
Not a failure, by any measure.
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We had two girls. They grew up to be amazing women. Very intelligent, independent and successful in their pursuits. Along with that I have managed, through no effort on my part, to accumulate 4 grandchildren. Although that isn't a large family, comparatively, at Christmas or a family get together, I look around and with my Sons in Law and my X present, I see 10 people that started out as just two and before that just one. It never ceases to blow my mind.
 
Cesar R M

Cesar R M

Well-Known Member
JenniferS said:
Quoting a second time, for a different reason ....

Yes, I am very neat. The men I live with are pigs.

The rooms I inhabit are spotless generally - the living room, kitchen, the upstairs bathroom (which I call MY bathroom), our bedroom, and the spare bedroom (which I call my office).
Every other room in the house is spotless on Wednesdays only. Until about 5:30. :facepalm:

I actually have to close the doors on everyone else's mess, otherwise I would have a stroke.
I am ocassionally kept awake at night thinking of the chaos behind those closed doors.
Pretty soon, I'm going to need everyone to move out or I'm going to need meds. Whichever.
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My suggestion is, better be saving money for that giant cowboy boot.
those es need kicking!
 
Cesar R M

Cesar R M

Well-Known Member
StarWarsGirl95 said:
My parents dated for two years. They had planned on dating for a few more years and then get married after my mom finished college, but circumstances changed that. My mom's parents pulled her college fund after she continued to date my father. They weren't happy with her life choices, even though she wasn't making bad choices; she was making choices different from what they wanted. My grandparents (well, mostly grandmother) were very controlling. And then my dad was living with his father, and his father told him he had to move out as soon as he graduated from law school, even though my dad had no job lined up. My step-grandmother most likely had something to do with that. My dad was planning on job hunting through the summer and then moving out once he had saved up some money. My grandfather dropped the bomb on him a few weeks before he graduated. Financially, my dad needed a roommate, and my mom needed to get out of her mother's house because her mother was making life hell for her. And they weren't going to live together without being married (for religious reasons). So they got married earlier than they had intended to. It took them years before they had saved up enough for a house, and then they fixed up the house before they were ready for kids.

Sad thing is that my grandparents did not come to my mother's wedding. They were so against it that they absolutely refused. And my grandfathers were friends! From college! My paternal grandfather spent over an hour on the phone with my maternal grandfather begging them to come to their wedding. Nope. After my grandmother died, my mother reestablished relations with her father, and my grandfather now approves of my father (which since my mother is the only one of his children not divorced...yeah)
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hah! thats similar to what happened with my parents. My grandmah from my mom side was completely refusing the marriage at first.
funny that every other marriage that she "approved" by a lot, ended in divorce.
my parents were together until my father's death.
 
JenniferS

JenniferS

When you're the leader, you don't have to follow.
Cesar R M said:
you had a dating abacus? such perfect counting.
or did you round the minutes? :hilarious:
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It was a running gag for years.

"How long did you date?"
Me: "7 years, 6 months and 12 days. But, who's counting?"

And trust me, 7 years, 6 months and 12 days (but, who's counting?) is a very long time when you don't live together - even though one of you had her own apartment for 7+ years.
 
MOXOMUMD

MOXOMUMD

Well-Known Member
JenniferS said:
My mom was 17 when she got married; my dad 19.
She had babies at 18, 19, 23, and 25.

Mike and I started dated when I was 18. He was 17.
We dated for 7 years, 6 months, and 12 days. (But, who's counting?)
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My oldest sister started dating her husband at the beginning of 8th grade. They were married right after graduation. Married for 37 years, 42 years together.
 

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