Songbird76
Well-Known Member
Um...what were you TRYING to take a picture of?
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The Chit Chat Chit Chat Thread
- Thread starter The Mom
- Start date
ajrwdwgirl
Premium Member
Looks nice there. Sunny and colorful.
ajrwdwgirl
Premium Member
Greetings from Wisconsin!
Cesar R M
Well-Known Member
Loving that pterodactyl!
21stamps
Well-Known Member
I can definitely tell that they’re having a great time!! Looks fun!
This is so cool!
O. M. G.
I’m so sorry
Is the weather supposed to warm up anytime soon?
StarWarsGirl
Well-Known Member
- In the Parks
- No
Should I bring up our weather again?
ajrwdwgirl
Premium Member
I can definitely tell that they’re having a great time!! Looks fun!
This is so cool!
O. M. G.
I’m so sorry
Is the weather supposed to warm up anytime soon?
In a few days it should start warming but slowly. I looked at the 10 day forecast and towards the end of it is I saw some 60’s.
ajrwdwgirl
Premium Member
Should I bring up our weather again?
Mine would offer you another way to cool down besides water rides.
Songbird76
Well-Known Member
When I get a friend request from someone I don't know, or I'm not sure whether I know them, I send a message asking how I know them. I explain that for safety/privacy reasons, I do not add people I don't know, so if they know me, tell me how, and I'd be happy to add them. Pre-social media, I used to get tons of emails from guys on campus at my university. The student directory was open to the public, so anyone could look you up, and I would get guys telling me they just HAD to meet me, because my username was so "poetic" or "beautiful" or whatever. And I would tell them I was in a relationship. MOST of the time, that was enough, but occassionally it wasn't. And when I moved over here, I had to go to the language school to learn Dutch. There was a guy from Liberia? Libya? I remember it started with an L and was in Africa. But the guy was in my orientation class, and took a liking to me, and kept following me to school and asking me out, telling me he loved me. I told him I was married, but he didn't believe me. He came in with friends and tried to get a picture with me to show his friends back home "his girlfriend." He wouldn't take no for an answer and I finally had to turn him in for harassment. Then there was a guy who saw me walking to school...I had to walk right by the red light district. Not actually through it, but it was on a side street I walked past. So I'm walking and this guy starts calling out "Jessica! Jessica!", which isn't my name, so I ignored it. He came up behind me and called me Jessica, so I told him that he had the wrong person, my name isn't Jessica. And he told me someone had told him I was Jessica and I was....part of the merchandice. I said no, he had the wrong person. He said it was no matter...would I like to come home with him. I said no thank you, I'm married. He said "that has nothing to do with you and me....maybe you'd like a change." I assured him I was quite happily married and had no wish for a change. He told me I should try it....I might like it. No one would ever know. After the 3rd day he followed me down the street, I changed my route. It added an extra 10-15 minutes to get to school, but I didn't have to go down that street. Then one day, I was walking down the street about a block from where we lived. It was a really busy street in a really nice neighborhood...and up comes this same guy on his bike with 2 little boys in a bike trailer....probably 2 or 3 years old. And he propositioned me in front of his kids!! I didn't want to walk home because I didn't want him to know where I lived, so I ducked into a video store and hoped he wouldn't follow and planned how I could get rid of him if he did, since my husband was still at work and couldn't come rescue me. I was so scared. Then I got a job here and I started riding my bike because it took over an hour to get there by bus, and could take up to 2 hours to get home if I missed a bus, So I was riding my bike home, came to an intersection, looked both ways before I crossed, and had to wait as some guy coming from another direction had the right of way. After he got past, I looked both ways again, and the guy turned around to look at me, and actually turned his bike around and started following me. I ignored him and sped up. But he was on a bike with a motor, and was keeping up easily, asking me to go get coffee with him. I said I was married, he asked if I was HAPPILY married. I said yes. He asked if I was sure. I said yes. He followed me almost the whole way home, and I was biking so fast I could hardly breathe and my lungs hurt. He just kept after me...again, I didn't want a creeper to know where I lived, so I didn't dare go home....so I went to the grocery store that's just a couple of blocks from my house, and miracle of miracles, my husband had JUST gotten home and had stopped to get something, so I got in the car with him and went back to get my bike later. I was shaking!! There are just so many creepers out there who need no invitation, and who think that being polite means you want them. Or that existing means that you want them. Or that if they compliment you, you owe them something in return. Blech.
StarWarsGirl
Well-Known Member
- In the Parks
- No
I don't need to be that cooled off.Mine would offer you another way to cool down besides water rides.
Songbird76
Well-Known Member
AMEN!! There is no excuse for that, even if you WERE looking for relationships. Like I said, there's a HUGE difference between "I see you play beach volleyball, so do I, would you like to catch a game sometime together?" and "He baby, that swim suit would look great on my floor!" You don't approach someone that way....male OR female. It's not appropriate, no matter what pictures I have posted. Unless I specifically have it on my profile that I want some casual flings, no strings, it's not an invitation.There is no defense for these guys.
I was in my mid 20s when MySpace came out.. it was my first time on social media. We had a group of around 20 of us, no one had kids yet.. we all lived in either SoBe, downtown Ft Laud, downtown WPB, or downtown Boca.. we were the cliche ‘work hard play hard’ SoFloridian 20somethings.
We traveled and when not traveling were constantly at a restaurant, nightclub, bar, or beach during weekend days..sand volleyball leagues and scuba diving and such. This is what our photos and “wall” (or whatever the MySpace profile comments were called) were full of- Our group having fun.
We were obviously not looking for relationships via the Internet..and there is absolutely no other word but “Creepy” to describe a man who would send a message such as- “hey baby wanna chat” or “what are you wearing” etc etc etc. Men like that have Zero defense for that kind of predatory and disrespectful behavior towards women.
So, we quickly figured out how to get out of their twisted searches.
21stamps
Well-Known Member
I hope for you that the warm weather comes quickly!
Songbird76
Well-Known Member
FB you can pretty much make as private or as open as you'd like. I have mine set so that only friends can see most posts. Memes I allow publicly, but anything I post about my kids is private, pictures are only for friends except for a couple of profile pictures so friends who are looking for me know they have the right person, and I have one album of pictures from Angel Action that I have public because there's no reason to hide it and I'm proud of what we stood for. But you don't HAVE to put in schools, work, birthday, etc. I have some things set to "only friends" and I have some things, like my birthday, set to "only me". But you can add as much personal information as you like, or restrict. Some people have their profiles set so you can't see who they are friends with. And you can even customize posts to exclude certain people, so if you wanted to plan a surprise party for your brother, you could post something to everyone except him. And I think a lot of those options came in because of complaints. It used to be that if you sent someone a friend request, they could see all your content for a month as though they were already on your friends list, or if you sent them a message, they could see your photos and posts. They changed that after people complained because if they were looking for someone with the same name, and you sent a person a message asking if they were this John Smith, they could see everything you posted, even if they weren't the John Smith you were looking for. It was CREEPY.
Cesar R M
Well-Known Member
holy crap, that is beyond nightmare.
I would have tassed that dbag or called the cops on him. "merchandise"? seriously???
Also, why you didn't take a photo and report him?
My response now would be to tape it and report as harassment.
21stamps
Well-Known Member
I’m sorry that happened to you. I had a very similar experience in Turkey several years ago. I decided to visit Turkey for 28 days, 2 weeks in Istanbul and the rest traveling around the country. Friends couldn’t take the time off work, husband didn’t want to spend a month in Turkey. So, I went alone.
I didn’t expect for the men to be as aggressive as they were. Even when I said I was married and made up a story of “my husband is waiting for me at our hotel” while purposely yet inconspicuously showing my wedding ring.. they didn’t care.
It resulted in me coming back to my room before 7pm every night.
I was extremely lucky that one of my room attendants noticed, he brought me tea one night and noticed I was crying. He apparently told the manager of the hotel.. the next morning when I was going out for my daily walk and read, the manager said “please come talk to me”. Asked me why I was sad and why I returned so early every night, I told him.. and he introduced me to locals later on that day. My whole time in Istanbul changed at that point.
. I was so grateful, but it should have never had to happen in the first place.I LOVED my 20s.. no doubt about it, but there are certain things that I don’t miss. Being at a nightclub and having a random guy grab you.. being propositioned by an old man trying to get you and your girlfriends to ‘come hang out on his yacht’ or ‘I have my Ferrari out front’. UGH.
We rarely ever went out without a VIP table.. mostly so we could be separated from the masses of sweaty people and sometimes groping men (but also so we didn’t have to wait in line for a drink
). Luckily I also had an amazing group of guy friends.. our whole group had a blast together, and most of the time we were just left alone..but when it did happen, it was so super annoying.I lived a couple of blocks from the beach, my best friend and I would rollerblade almost daily.. I can’t even count how many cat calls and disrespectful shouts we got.. for no other reason than we were -women.
Sorry.. I’m not trying to pick on men.. I know there’s plenty of disrespectful women as well.
Just saw Guadalajara and remembered my MySpace profile.. and the reason for it.lol
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21stamps
Well-Known Member
Exactly. The settings and search options are so different now than they were in the early/middle 2000s when MySpace was huge. I think there had to be a ton of complaints over the years.
Songbird76
Well-Known Member
Well, merchandice was my word....family forum. I can't post what he actually said. But basically he implied that he heard I worked in the red light district and he was interested in my services.
And this was 15 years ago, and I was still learning Dutch. I didn't have a cell phone at the time, and if I had, this was before every cell phone had a camera. So I couldn't. And, as StarWarsGirl mentioned, you report something like that and the first question is "What were you wearing? Did you give him any indication you were interested?" And if I were to tell police where I was walking, they would have just told me maybe I shouldn't be walking in that area if I didn't want to be mistaken for a working girl. Unfortunately, as a woman, you have to prove that it's not your own fault you get harassed. This was cold weather and I was wearing a long coat, buttoned up all the way. It's not like I was wearing skimpy clothing or anything that would give the impression I belonged in the red light district. But just the fact that I walked down a street NEAR it would have been enough evidence for police to assume it was just a mistake. I actually went to someone at the school and asked what to do about it, and I was told to change my route. So I did. But these were 3 separate guys who followed me and I told all 3 of them I was married and not interested, and it didn't matter to any of them.
21stamps
Well-Known Member
It never matters how you’re dressed. Like I said, my social media photos had plenty of nightclub photos..with plenty of alcohol involved.. but there’s nothing that could have screamed “I want to have an inappropriate convo with you”.. even if my clothes would have been different, it still shouldn’t matter.
During this convo I actually tried to log on to MySpace..lol.. emailed for a new password.. most of my profile and photos must have been deleted from the server.. but here’s some of what’s left. I don’t think the Random guys thought I was looking for their attention.. I just think they attempted to impose themselves on any female they found. Anyway- whew what a blast from the past! This was fun to see. By contrast, my FB is all photos of kiddo. From SoBe to Midwest Mom.. and loving every second of it.
If anyone else had an account.. apparently it’s still possible to access remnants of it. Try it! Too funny!
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Songbird76
Well-Known Member
Yes, I've heard that about Turkey...and Egypt I think it was. Someone told me that men will follow women into public restrooms. Or grope them on public transportation. I'm glad the hotel manager was so helpful for you! I don't know that I would have dared to even tell him, being male. When you are harassed like that, it kind of makes you wary of anyone you don't know. Or at least that's what it did to me. And it's happened so often, I can't really even count all the times. There was a computer lab assistant who paid attention to which labs I showed up in and when and tried to get shifts in those labs and those times, and he'd come sit next to me and read over my shoulder. (I found out he was keeping track when he saw me once and said "Where have you been? You always used to be here on Wednesdays at 3:00.") There was a kid in my high school who would snap my bra (and I was that girl who wore baggy sweatshirts so no one could see I had any sort of feminine body underneath) and told me he wouldn't stop unless I let him do "upper body lifts" ( wink wink, nudge nudge) . When I visited my DH before we were married, we went out with a group of his friends....I needed to go to the bathroom and I had to go and get DH because the bathrooms were down this hall parallel to the bar and 2 random guys at the bar leaned their bar chairs back against the wall as I approached so I couldn't get to the bathrooms. There was a guy in my dorm who sent me dirty emails when he saw me in the computer room one night and I tried to be polite when he said hello. From then on, he'd stop me in the halls every time he saw me. I would see him and turn around and walk a different way. So many instances come to mind, and not ONE of them where I was wearing anything even remotely revealing, which shouldn't matter anyway, but somehow does to some people. And it doesn't matter if you say you are married, or in a relationship, etc....if your boyfriend isn't standing there next to you, you are fair game. And I know exactly what you mean, you don't want to throw men under the bus....it's not even a majority of guys....but you can't tell just by looking at a guy if he's going to be that one who won't take no for an answer, and you can't lock yourself in your house so that you don't encounter creeps. I had a male friend who was in choir with me who used to walk me back to my dorm after choir rehearsal because it was dark when we got done and the dorms were right next to the frat houses, which were notoriously dangerous places for women after dark. There were 3 of us girls who he escorted back home every Monday and Wednesday night. For 3 years, until I moved out of the dorms.I’m sorry that happened to you. I had a very similar experience in Turkey several years ago. I decided to visit Turkey for 28 days, 2 weeks in Istanbul and the rest traveling around the country. Friends couldn’t take the time off work, husband didn’t want to spend a month in Turkey. So, I went alone.
I didn’t expect for the men to be as aggressive as they were. Even when I said I was married and made up a story of “my husband is waiting for me at our hotel” while purposely yet inconspicuously showing my wedding ring.. they didn’t care.
It resulted in me coming back to my room before 7pm every night.
I was extremely lucky that one of my room attendants noticed, he brought me tea one night and noticed I was crying. He apparently told the manager of the hotel.. the next morning when I was going out for my daily walk and read, the manager said “please come talk to me”. Asked me why I was sad and why I returned so early every night, I told him.. and he introduced me to locals later on that day. My whole time in Istanbul changed at that point.
I LOVED my 20s.. no doubt about it, but there are certain things that I don’t miss. Being at a nightclub and having a random guy grab you.. being propositioned by an old man trying to get you and your girlfriends to ‘come hang out on his yacht’ or ‘I have my Ferrari out front’. UGH.
We rarely ever went out without a VIP table.. mostly so we could be separated from the masses of sweaty people and sometimes groping men (but also so we didn’t have to wait in line for a drink
I lived a couple of blocks from the beach, my best friend and I would rollerblade almost daily.. I can’t even count how many cat calls and disrespectful shouts we got.. for no other reason than we were -women.
Sorry.. I’m not trying to pick on men.. I know there’s plenty of disrespectful women as well.
Just saw Guadalajara and remembered my MySpace profile.. and the reason for it.lol
ajrwdwgirl
Premium Member
Ok, I’m sorry but you are all going to jealous now.....currently in a blizzard warning! . I have to laugh about it otherwise I might go crazy.
. I have to laugh about it otherwise I might go crazy.