Really, my MIL is pretty great. She just thinks her taste is superior so I should do what SHE wants so my house will look better. I'm someone who doesn't really care about trends and what's "in". I care about what I like...I buy clothes because I like them and they are comfortable, not because everyone else is wearing such and such. Same with my house. When I first moved here, we lived with them and it was right around Christmas. My mom had just passed away the July before, and because we lived with my in-laws, everything I owned besides my clothes was in storage..she wouldn't let me put any of my own furniture or decorations in our room and I HATED the decor in our room...it's everything I hate. Stark white furniture, yellow walls, wicker chair, linoleum flooring....ugh...but it wasn't my house, so I wasn't allowed to change anything. I didn't speak a word of Dutch, I hadn't gotten my placement in school yet to learn it, so I was stuck at home all day while DH was at work. I was just in a really bad place emotionally, and I jumped at the chance to go to a garden center with her for Christmas decorations. I saw some beautiful blue Christmas ornaments that I loved and I put a box in the cart...she took them out and put them back on the shelf. I was like...no, I want to buy those....with my own money. She said no, because they were blue...blue hasn't been in style for a couple of years now. I wasn't hanging up blue ornaments in HER house. What would the neighbors think??? Um..that your American daughter-in-law likes blue and doesn't care what anyone else thinks? Nope...I could get a box of smaller blue ornaments to hang in our room, but not near the window, but that was it.
When my DH and I bought this house and were moving out of their house, they were helping us fix this place up so we could move. We had been in their house or 3 years. So she was used to calling the shots because I didn't want to make waves. But this was OUR house and I wasn't going to let her paint my walls yellow or tell me what kind of wallpaper to put up. She helped put up the wallpaper and then announced she didn't like it, we were going to take it down and she would pick something better out and put it up. I said no, this is what DH and I had picked, it's what we like, and it's staying up. And she said "But...people will know I helped put it up and they will wonder why I allowed you to put this ugly wallpaper up!" I said I didn't care what other people thought...it's MY house, I am the one who has to live with it, not them. She said "But don't you want people to feel comfortable here? And there are a couple of places where you can see it puckered a little bit!" I said no one was going to be looking that closely, and that people coming here are coming to see US, not our wallpaper. "But it looks bad! Those little places where you can see it isn't perfect". I was getting so frustrated. I said "Then I'll put a clock or a painting over those 2 little spots! We're NOT changing the wallpaper!!" Now that we've been in this house for 12 years, she doesn't try to change things anymore. She knows I'm not going to listen. She DOES still try to tell me stuff like...that I need to get a new winter coat for my son. Or that I should wear a blouse over my top. I just ignore her. She MEANS well, she just doesn't understand how anyone could choose something different than she does because she thinks her taste is so much better. Like...WHY would anyone choose to hang up blue ornaments instead of silver with red ribbons? Silver with red ribbons looks so much better! Sometimes I wear my Christmas sweater just to annoy her...she thinks it's so gaudy and "Dutch people would never wear such a thing". I said "Good thing I'm not Dutch!" Most of the time I play nice, but once in a while, I think it's good for her to be reminded that I have my own tastes and that I'm perfectly capable of making my own decisions about what I buy, what I wear, how I cook, etc. She doesn't have to like it, but she has to accept it.
