The Chit Chat Chit Chat Thread

Goofyernmost

Goofyernmost

Well-Known Member
catmom46 said:
I totally agree with your outlook. I wish I could be more positive at this time, but it's difficult when there's so much negative energy in my own household right now. We still have to wait until the end of the year before we can finalize the divorce and live separately (assuming we can agree to a settlement without going to court). :banghead:

But, I have to say that chatting with all of you on this thread has really helped keep me distracted and feel some semblance of normalcy throughout this process. Plus, it's nice to have a place where I don't feel like I'm being judged or criticized. So thank you! :inlove:
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Listen, what you are experiencing has happened to a lot of us. We know the emptiness, the emotions and uncertainty that goes with it. I can remember spending hours thinking... what happens now? When I got married I thought it was for life and I never looked beyond that. What was the need? Then I found myself thinking things like, how will I live, where will I live, was I at fault, was I a failure, could I have done more to prevent this outcome?

I was fortunate that my children were all grown and married so I didn't have that to deal with. I was able to drive to the coast of Maine and walk along the beach and think about what I should do now. It took about a year from my divorce to complete the task of figuring out my next step and taking the positive steps toward achieving those goals. But, achieve I did, and you will too. That doesn't stop it from being a heart wrenching experience, but, if you are lucky you will come out the other side a stronger and happier person. Sometimes bad has to happen to make room for the good.

You have one advantage over me as I didn't have this group to help me through it. What helps is the fact that we don't really have to show some degree of super strength here on the boards. We have no one that we have an unreasonable need to be a rock for and can sort of easily express fears and concerns knowing that none of the people we are addressing have a vested interest, but, do have a genuine concern. AND it's a lot cheaper then psychoanalysis.

I expressed my recent diagnosis of Prostate Cancer to three people. My daughters and my sister. I did, however, share with you folks. I didn't post it on Facebook so none of my friends are aware of it. It is something that I have to deal with, not them, but I knew that this was a good place to come and just release my silent primal scream to an audience that I knew would be concerned but not personally connected. I'm thankful for that and I know that your connection to us, just helps to deal with problems that sometimes seem insurmountable.
 
catmom46

catmom46

Well-Known Member
betty rose said:
I fixed the best lunch ever, according to my taste buds! A baked potato with, green onions, bacon and cheese (for hubby). I think I may need to repeat for dinner! (I added broccoli to mine)!:hungry: And no cheese. :(
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Here's my lunch for today from our office cafe - actually pretty yummy!

15%2B-%2B1
 
Songbird76

Songbird76

Well-Known Member
Goofyernmost said:
Listen, what you are experiencing has happened to a lot of us. We know the emptiness, the emotions and uncertainty that goes with it. I can remember spending hours thinking... what happens now? When I got married I thought it was for life and I never looked beyond that. What was the need? Then I found myself thinking things like, how will I live, where will I live, was I at fault, was I a failure, could I have done more to prevent this outcome?

I was fortunate that my children were all grown and married so I didn't have that to deal with. I was able to drive to the coast of Maine and walk along the beach and think about what I should do now. It took about a year from my divorce to complete the task of figuring out my next step and taking the positive steps toward achieving those goals. But, achieve I did, and you will too. That doesn't stop it from being a heart wrenching experience, but, if you are lucky you will come out the other side a stronger and happier person. Sometimes bad has to happen to make room for the good.

You have one advantage over me as I didn't have this group to help me through it. What helps is the fact that we don't really have to show some degree of super strength here on the boards. We have no one that we have an unreasonable need to be a rock for and can sort of easily express fears and concerns knowing that none of the people we are addressing have a vested interest, but, do have a genuine concern. AND it's a lot cheaper then psychoanalysis.

I expressed my recent diagnosis of Prostate Cancer to three people. My daughters and my sister. I did, however, share with you folks. I didn't post it on Facebook so none of my friends are aware of it. It is something that I have to deal with, not them, but I knew that this was a good place to come and just release my silent primal scream to an audience that I knew would be concerned but not personally connected. I'm thankful for that and I know that your connection to us, just helps to deal with problems that sometimes seem insurmountable.
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I hadn't heard about your diagnosis. I hope all is going well!!
 
Songbird76

Songbird76

Well-Known Member
catmom46 said:
Those look so cute, and yummy! :hungry:
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I saw it on Facebook and had to try them. My kiddos actually did the eyes. So easy! A bit time consuming as you have to split all the oreos and sort out the M&Ms (or maybe that's just me because I refused to use anything but blue or brown for the eyes and orange for the beaks. My son wanted the blue eyes and my daughter wanted the brown), but with them doing the actual assembly, it saved me some time and they loved it. They will be going to my son's soccer game tomorrow to share with his team.
 
catmom46

catmom46

Well-Known Member
Goofyernmost said:
Listen, what you are experiencing has happened to a lot of us. We know the emptiness, the emotions and uncertainty that goes with it. I can remember spending hours thinking... what happens now? When I got married I thought it was for life and I never looked beyond that. What was the need? Then I found myself thinking things like, how will I live, where will I live, was I at fault, was I a failure, could I have done more to prevent this outcome?

I was fortunate that my children were all grown and married so I didn't have that to deal with. I was able to drive to the coast of Maine and walk along the beach and think about what I should do now. It took about a year from my divorce to complete the task of figuring out my next step and taking the positive steps toward achieving those goals. But, achieve I did, and you will too. That doesn't stop it from being a heart wrenching experience, but, if you are lucky you will come out the other side a stronger and happier person. Sometimes bad has to happen to make room for the good.

You have one advantage over me as I didn't have this group to help me through it. What helps is the fact that we don't really have to show some degree of super strength here on the boards. We have no one that we have an unreasonable need to be a rock for and can sort of easily express fears and concerns knowing that none of the people we are addressing have a vested interest, but, do have a genuine concern. AND it's a lot cheaper then psychoanalysis.

I expressed my recent diagnosis of Prostate Cancer to three people. My daughters and my sister. I did, however, share with you folks. I didn't post it on Facebook so none of my friends are aware of it. It is something that I have to deal with, not them, but I knew that this was a good place to come and just release my silent primal scream to an audience that I knew would be concerned but not personally connected. I'm thankful for that and I know that your connection to us, just helps to deal with problems that sometimes seem insurmountable.
Click to expand...

I'm actually not worried so much about what I'm going to do or how I'm going to move forward - it was my decision to divorce and so I feel once it's finalized and we're no longer living under the same roof I can breathe more freely and not feel oppressed. The main issue is that I want joint custody and he doesn't agree, which would be the only reason why we'd need to go to court. Yes, I do work a 9-5, but I'm planning to work at home in the afternoons, so I can care for our daughter. He thinks all of a sudden I want to be a better parent now, which is partly true, but that doesn't mean I haven't been there for her all her life. So my prime emotion right now is anger toward him for not being fair and thinking that I should be OK with visitation rights. And the stress of not knowing the outcome is exhausting, which is why I made an appointment with a therapist because I definitely need guidance on how to work through all this negativity.
 
Goofyernmost

Goofyernmost

Well-Known Member
Songbird76 said:
I hadn't heard about your diagnosis. I hope all is going well!!
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Yea, it's fine. It has been caught in a very, very, very early stage. So early that there isn't anything that can be done about it yet. Also, because of my age and the idea that it might be a very slow growing type it might not affect me for what is left of my life. We are monitoring it closely and if they see significant growth then we will take aggressive action with it. That didn't stop the words "you have cancer" seem any less shocking".

catmom46 said:
I'm actually not worried so much about what I'm going to do or how I'm going to move forward - it was my decision to divorce and so I feel once it's finalized and we're no longer living under the same roof I can breathe more freely and not feel oppressed. The main issue is that I want joint custody and he doesn't agree, which would be the only reason why we'd need to go to court. Yes, I do work a 9-5, but I'm planning to work at home in the afternoons, so I can care for our daughter. He thinks all of a sudden I want to be a better parent now, which is partly true, but that doesn't mean I haven't been there for her all her life. So my prime emotion right now is anger toward him for not being fair and thinking that I should be OK with visitation rights. And the stress of not knowing the outcome is exhausting, which is why I made an appointment with a therapist because I definitely need guidance on how to work through all this negativity.
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Is that a new trend. When I was divorced people didn't continue to co-habitat until it became official. Once it was over, it was over. I can see where that might cause some stress. Having to deal with custody issues has to be stressful as well. I hope you didn't think that I meant that psychoanalysis was a bad thing, it was just a flippant remark to say that having someone else to talk to can be almost as good. I also incorporated a bit of that as well, just until I started hearing myself saying the same thing over and over. Then I figured it wasn't worth the money.
 
catmom46

catmom46

Well-Known Member
Goofyernmost said:
Is that a new trend. When I was divorced people didn't continue to co-habitat until it became official. Once it was over, it was over. I can see where that might cause some stress. Having to deal with custody issues has to be stressful as well. I hope you didn't think that I meant that psychoanalysis was a bad thing, it was just a flippant remark to say that having someone else to talk to can be almost as good. I also incorporated a bit of that as well, just until I started hearing myself saying the same thing over and over. Then I figured it wasn't worth the money.
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No, not a new trend. The house we live in actually belongs to my mom, so you'd think he'd move out, but he can't afford to. He actually expected me to find him a new place to live, in order for him to continue taking care of our daughter. I definitely don't make that much money, so he's clearly delusional! :confused:

Oh, I totally knew you weren't bagging on therapy - I agree being able to vent and mull things over with friends and family can be just as good. I just need help making sure I don't go off the deep end. I never understood until now how some people can simply snap. Now I know! :p
 
ajrwdwgirl

ajrwdwgirl

Premium Member
catmom46 said:
I'm actually not worried so much about what I'm going to do or how I'm going to move forward - it was my decision to divorce and so I feel once it's finalized and we're no longer living under the same roof I can breathe more freely and not feel oppressed. The main issue is that I want joint custody and he doesn't agree, which would be the only reason why we'd need to go to court. Yes, I do work a 9-5, but I'm planning to work at home in the afternoons, so I can care for our daughter. He thinks all of a sudden I want to be a better parent now, which is partly true, but that doesn't mean I haven't been there for her all her life. So my prime emotion right now is anger toward him for not being fair and thinking that I should be OK with visitation rights. And the stress of not knowing the outcome is exhausting, which is why I made an appointment with a therapist because I definitely need guidance on how to work through all this negativity.
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Good luck with the therapist. It isn't any fun living with a lot of negativity. When my mom passed away a few years ago, I had some issues with my dad that has lead to a lot of negativity on my end. I am the type of person to bottle up feelings and let them fester. Anyway, long story short, when I finally decided not to bottle it up it was nice to release it and start feeling more positive. What is tough is when those negative feelings pop in from time to time. I had thought about going to a therapist as well, I decided to try a solo WDW trip, it cleared my head and I found my positive path. I think it helped me a lot.
 
ajrwdwgirl

ajrwdwgirl

Premium Member
FutureCEO said:
Might plan a short trip to Disney to see the last of the Obsournes though why can't Disney move it to another location is beyond me.
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I know I'm glad I have a quick trip planned for November, one of the motivating factors for booking was I had a hunch that this would be the last year of the Osborne's. I wish they could move the lights somewhere. I was thinking that the Hollywood area at California Adventure might actually be a good spot for them.
 
catmom46

catmom46

Well-Known Member
ajrwdwgirl said:
Good luck with the therapist. It isn't any fun living with a lot of negativity. When my mom passed away a few years ago, I had some issues with my dad that has lead to a lot of negativity on my end. I am the type of person to bottle up feelings and let them fester. Anyway, long story short, when I finally decided not to bottle it up it was nice to release it and start feeling more positive. What is tough is when those negative feelings pop in from time to time. I had thought about going to a therapist as well, I decided to try a solo WDW trip, it cleared my head and I found my positive path. I think it helped me a lot.
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Yeah, I spent a lot of time in my marriage keeping my feelings to myself because if I didn't, that's when we would fight. And I tried to not let things bother me as much, but after awhile I couldn't ignore them anymore. I'm usually pretty laid-back and able to let things slide, but when I feel like I'm being treated unjustly, my patience goes out the window.

I definitely agree that solo Disney trips are great for clearing out all the clutter, which is why I bought a DL AP. Much cheaper than therapy! :joyfull:
 
catmom46

catmom46

Well-Known Member
ajrwdwgirl said:
I know I'm glad I have a quick trip planned for November, one of the motivating factors for booking was I had a hunch that this would be the last year of the Osborne's. I wish they could move the lights somewhere. I was thinking that the Hollywood area at California Adventure might actually be a good spot for them.
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Ooh, that's a great idea! Especially since I haven't been able to see them yet.
 
ajrwdwgirl

ajrwdwgirl

Premium Member
catmom46 said:
Yeah, I spent a lot of time in my marriage keeping my feelings to myself because if I didn't, that's when we would fight. And I tried to not let things bother me as much, but after awhile I couldn't ignore them anymore. I'm usually pretty laid-back and able to let things slide, but when I feel like I'm being treated unjustly, my patience goes out the window.

I definitely agree that solo Disney trips are great for clearing out all the clutter, which is why I bought a DL AP. Much cheaper than therapy! :joyfull:
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Disney therapy....the best kind.
 

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