The Chit Chat Chit Chat Thread

donaldtoo

donaldtoo

Well-Known Member
Goofyernmost said:
This is something everyone has to face at one time or the other and it isn't easy. As the eldest child I had to be the one that made all the arrangements and trying to figure out what they wanted to have happen. They never cared to discuss it. My dad left us at just a few months younger than I am right now (74). My mom was so distraught that she just couldn't think straight so I had to guess. Ten years later she left us at age 87, after a long illness. Again, it was me that had to do the arrangements and since she had never mentioned any displeasure in what I had done with dad, I just repeated the same thing. But, it wasn't any easier. A few years ago I spent a year setting up and informing my girls what I wanted to transpire, because I didn't want them to have the same anxiety as I did or what they had when their Mom passed. Since we were divorced I had no legal right to do anything, but I did try my best to guide my girls in that process as well, but she had never spoken about that at all during the 29 years we were married.

I honestly don't think about mom and dad everyday It's been almost 30 years for dad and almost 20 for mom, but they still linger in memories and sometimes if I'm sitting here feeling down and/or lonely, I really do wish I would just pickup the phone and listen to her complain about how many naps that dad takes or about some of her friends that she went to casino's in Montreal with. You know the "she said, she said" stuff.

However, it is something that cannot be avoided forever and one can only hope that things happen to keep them around for a little longer. I remember a little about what you said happened, and I can assure you that as we age more and more threats show up, almost on a daily basis. I'm not sure what physically they were experiencing, but both seemed pretty healthy and hopefully will be able to just keep going. It is really strange how that all works. Health and aging do not seem to be compatible.
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I haven’t known a moment of my life without them, of course, so when the time comes, although it won’t be easy, at least we’ve had time to prepare ourselves a bit, emotionally.
I know many others haven’t had that opportunity, as their folks were taken from them at much earlier ages. I can’t imagine how rough that would be, and again, feel beyond blessed to have had our loving parents with us as long as we have.
Funny thing is (and I’ve posted about this before), it was just a few years ago I caught Pop on the roof with the leaf blower again…!!!!! :hilarious:
They’ve both slowed down considerably since, but, are both still ambulatory…no canes, walkers, etc., needed.
And yes, the whole health/longevity dynamic is different for all families.
My Pop’s father passed at age 77 in 1978 from colon cancer. My Pop’s mother lived for another 26 years, to just short of 96.
Mom’s folks lived into their late 80’s/early 90’s, and passed only a few years apart.
Again, I loved my grandparents on both sides. They were “salt of the earth” beautiful people, hard working, but, with hilarious senses of humor at the same time…visiting with them on their farms, or anywhere for that matter, was always a hoot…!!!!! :hilarious:
Another cool thing about my folks being around for so long is the relationship they have with their great granddaughters…four generations !!!!! :inlove::happy:
Emmy for sure will remember them, and hopefully they’ll be around long enough that Audrey will too…!!! :)
Bottom line, I don’t complain, as I’m blessed, and have had a better life than others that are more deserving.
 
L

Lilofan

Well-Known Member
MinnieM123 said:
What really matters here (aside of the fact that they are home and things have calmed down), is their quality of life. And a big part of that is due to the love and support of their wonderful family members. :)
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Agree/ for me being a caregiver is the most rewarding but demanding role in my life. But for my mom I would continue to do anything for her even with medical and mental illness ongoing.
 
Songbird76

Songbird76

Well-Known Member
donaldtoo said:
I haven’t known a moment of my life without them, of course, so when the time comes, although it won’t be easy, at least we’ve had time to prepare ourselves a bit, emotionally.
I know many others haven’t had that opportunity, as their folks were taken from them at much earlier ages. I can’t imagine how rough that would be, and again, feel beyond blessed to have had our loving parents with us as long as we have.
Funny thing is (and I’ve posted about this before), it was just a few years ago I caught Pop on the roof with the leaf blower again…!!!!! :hilarious:
They’ve both slowed down considerably since, but, are both still ambulatory…no canes, walkers, etc., needed.
And yes, the whole health/longevity dynamic is different for all families.
My Pop’s father passed at age 77 in 1978 from colon cancer. My Pop’s mother lived for another 26 years, to just short of 96.
Mom’s folks lived into their late 80’s/early 90’s, and passed only a few years apart.
Again, I loved my grandparents on both sides. They were “salt of the earth” beautiful people, hard working, but, with hilarious senses of humor at the same time…visiting with them on their farms, or anywhere for that matter, was always a hoot…!!!!! :hilarious:
Another cool thing about my folks being around for so long is the relationship they have with their great granddaughters…four generations !!!!! :inlove::happy:
Emmy for sure will remember them, and hopefully they’ll be around long enough that Audrey will too…!!! :)
Bottom line, I don’t complain, as I’m blessed, and have had a better life than others that are more deserving.
Click to expand...
I love that they have gotten to know their great-granddaughters. They must have so much joy from getting to have that time. It won't be easy on any of you when the time comes to say goodbye, I'm sure. I thought I was prepared when my dad died a week after his 84th birthday, and I guess I sort of was, but it was still so hard. And the stupid thing was, I had JUST posted here the day before that I was happy to have had as long as I did with him, and that I couldn't really complain when it was his time, because I had had so much longer than other people got with their parents. And then the next day I got the call that he was gone. It was like a cruel joke. Hopefully you will still have a few years with yours, and the grandbabies will be old enough to remember them and all the fun they had with them.
 
donaldtoo

donaldtoo

Well-Known Member
MinnieM123 said:
What really matters here (aside of the fact that they are home and things have calmed down), is their quality of life. And a big part of that is due to the love and support of their wonderful family members. :)
Click to expand...

Thanks, Minnie…!!! :)
Yes, they know they are dearly loved, but, are also both fully mentally aware, thus prepared (as best as they can be) for the eventualities. Although, we know Pop will be a bit of a tougher nut to crack.
Other than the events of earlier this week, quality of life is still good for now.
 
Figgy1

Figgy1

Well-Known Member
More carp expected Monday night 1677963860145.png
Snow No Thanks GIF
 
W

wdwfan4ver

Well-Known Member
Goofyernmost said:
This is something everyone has to face at one time or the other and it isn't easy. As the eldest child I had to be the one that made all the arrangements and trying to figure out what they wanted to have happen. They never cared to discuss it. My dad left us at just a few months younger than I am right now (74). My mom was so distraught that she just couldn't think straight so I had to guess. Ten years later she left us at age 87, after a long illness. Again, it was me that had to do the arrangements and since she had never mentioned any displeasure in what I had done with dad, I just repeated the same thing. But, it wasn't any easier. A few years ago I spent a year setting up and informing my girls what I wanted to transpire, because I didn't want them to have the same anxiety as I did or what they had when their Mom passed. Since we were divorced I had no legal right to do anything, but I did try my best to guide my girls in that process as well, but she had never spoken about that at all during the 29 years we were married.

I honestly don't think about mom and dad everyday It's been almost 30 years for dad and almost 20 for mom, but they still linger in memories and sometimes if I'm sitting here feeling down and/or lonely, I really do wish I would just pickup the phone and listen to her complain about how many naps that dad takes or about some of her friends that she went to casino's in Montreal with. You know the "she said, she said" stuff.

However, it is something that cannot be avoided forever and one can only hope that things happen to keep them around for a little longer. I remember a little about what you said happened, and I can assure you that as we age more and more threats show up, almost on a daily basis. I'm not sure what physically they were experiencing, but both seemed pretty healthy and hopefully will be able to just keep going. It is really strange how that all works. Health and aging do not seem to be compatible.
Click to expand...
I understand what you are saying.

My younger brother and I had were prepared if Dad were to die when we were growing up. My younger brother and I also understood death because My mom's parents died before we were born due to health issues.

I said prepare at such a young age because of the nature of dad's job. People died on the job at dad's work and it was explained in simple terms that a kid can understand with no problem. My dad held multiple positions dealing with electricity at his work and he did witness co-workers that died. Dad matter of fact considered his biggest accomplishment at his work was working for 46 years without dying.

The other thing is I've extremely ready for dad's death in the future. I mention this since he is a senior citizen. My dad had triple bypass when he was 57 years old and a heart attack when he was 67 years old. I was told my dad's triple bypass procedure could last another 20 to 25 years and that meant he'll need another one in the 87 to 92 years old range. The problem with that age is during any procedure that is heart related at that age range is hard to survive through it. I mentioned the procedure because my dad has a friend that lost his aunt last year during heart surgery in her late 90s.
 

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