The Chit Chat Chit Chat Thread

Songbird76

Songbird76

Well-Known Member
SteveBrickNJ said:
Thank you. I know I've often posted photos of what my wife has prepared. Last night my wife expressed her frustration w/ our daughter because our DD spent the entire night in her room talking to her boyfriend for 2.5 hours. My wife had asked her to join us for a family movie, but DD replied: "No thanks...I'm ok". That is just a typical night at our house. DD seems to treat us like a hotel, she just comes down when dinner is ready...and we have to call her. She just appears for food that is lovingly prepared....but DD doesn't say thank you...or realize how much effort goes into it night after night.
When I quietly tell her (when my wife is not around)....DD seems unimpressed.
Our frustration w/ this 18 year old is super high right now:(
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I'm sorry that your wife's feelings are hurt. I think that's a normal teenager thing. Did this mostly start with the social distancing? It always sounded like your daughter was so busy before, and I know when I was in high school, I was spread so thin with numerous activities that I was transparent. We were rarely all home at the same time for dinner, so most days I took a snack to school and then heated up whatever mom made for dinner when I got home after play/musical practice, or cheerleading, or speech and debate, or student council, or my job as a tutor or timing and scoring of ball games. Your daughter sounds like she's about the same, so now that there's no school, but kids can't get together because of social distancing, it's difficult for them to go days/weeks without seeing their friends during the day like they are used to. I know my daughter is having a hard time with that.

Is she still working or has her workplace been closed? It's got to be hard when you have such a packed schedule and school is your only opportunity for socialization with your friends to suddenly be faced with isolation and not having that connection with friends other than via telephone. I'm sure she doesn't mean it to be rude or ungrateful. This is just a lot for teens to be facing. It's a lot for all of us, but for kids, this is possibly the first major upset they've ever had to deal with. And in times of worry, grief, etc, we turn to our friends to get us through, but for minors, all their avenues of socialization and venting are taken away. And especially for seniors who are also looking at not getting a graduation, not getting to celebrate this milestone, they are clinging to whatever vestiges of their former routine they can. Have you tried to sit down and have a conversation about how she's feeling about what's happening in the moment, and what she's doing to cope? My daughter seems like she's fine, but then they announced an extension of the regulations and closures and she just started crying. She misses her friends so much, and they do online schooling, but they don't actually get to be with their friends. There are no lunchtime converstations, no after school trips to get ice cream together...their only outlet is social media. Maybe if you talked to her about how she is feeling, it might put it in a different context...not about how her actions are affecting you/her mom, but how all the changes are affecting her. Maybe that would help her to understand?
 
21stamps

21stamps

Well-Known Member
Rista1313 said:
Today I decided to make homemade egg noodles to go with dinner. I haven't made them in quite awhile, and one good thing that happens when I do make them, is all the stuff that normally sits on the counter gets taken off and the counter gets cleaned! Here's a boatload of pictures!

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My grandmother used to make these!! Her homemade noodles and croutons were my favorite.

Looks delicious!
 
SteveBrickNJ

SteveBrickNJ

Well-Known Member
Songbird76 said:
I'm sorry that your wife's feelings are hurt. I think that's a normal teenager thing. Did this mostly start with the social distancing? It always sounded like your daughter was so busy before, and I know when I was in high school, I was spread so thin with numerous activities that I was transparent. We were rarely all home at the same time for dinner, so most days I took a snack to school and then heated up whatever mom made for dinner when I got home after play/musical practice, or cheerleading, or speech and debate, or student council, or my job as a tutor or timing and scoring of ball games. Your daughter sounds like she's about the same, so now that there's no school, but kids can't get together because of social distancing, it's difficult for them to go days/weeks without seeing their friends during the day like they are used to. I know my daughter is having a hard time with that.

Is she still working or has her workplace been closed? It's got to be hard when you have such a packed schedule and school is your only opportunity for socialization with your friends to suddenly be faced with isolation and not having that connection with friends other than via telephone. I'm sure she doesn't mean it to be rude or ungrateful. This is just a lot for teens to be facing. It's a lot for all of us, but for kids, this is possibly the first major upset they've ever had to deal with. And in times of worry, grief, etc, we turn to our friends to get us through, but for minors, all their avenues of socialization and venting are taken away. And especially for seniors who are also looking at not getting a graduation, not getting to celebrate this milestone, they are clinging to whatever vestiges of their former routine they can. Have you tried to sit down and have a conversation about how she's feeling about what's happening in the moment, and what she's doing to cope? My daughter seems like she's fine, but then they announced an extension of the regulations and closures and she just started crying. She misses her friends so much, and they do online schooling, but they don't actually get to be with their friends. There are no lunchtime converstations, no after school trips to get ice cream together...their only outlet is social media. Maybe if you talked to her about how she is feeling, it might put it in a different context...not about how her actions are affecting you/her mom, but how all the changes are affecting her. Maybe that would help her to understand?
Click to expand...
Today ( for safety) my daughter put in her last day at McDonald's. She has taken a leave of absence and is welcome to come back when it is deemed safe health wise.
Thank you for your post sharing your thoughts and for caring about us.
 
Figgy1

Figgy1

Well-Known Member
SteveBrickNJ said:
Thank you. I know I've often posted photos of what my wife has prepared. Last night my wife expressed her frustration w/ our daughter because our DD spent the entire night in her room talking to her boyfriend for 2.5 hours. My wife had asked her to join us for a family movie, but DD replied: "No thanks...I'm ok". That is just a typical night at our house. DD seems to treat us like a hotel, she just comes down when dinner is ready...and we have to call her. She just appears for food that is lovingly prepared....but DD doesn't say thank you...or realize how much effort goes into it night after night.
When I quietly tell her (when my wife is not around)....DD seems unimpressed.
Our frustration w/ this 18 year old is super high right now:(
Click to expand...
{{HUGS}} it stinks when they think they were hatched out an egg that was left in the woods but it's just a phase and she'll grow out of it. Best of luck my friend
 
SteveBrickNJ

SteveBrickNJ

Well-Known Member
figmentfan423 said:
{{HUGS}} it stinks when they think they were hatched out an egg that was left in the woods but it's just a phase and she'll grow out of it. Best of luck my friend
Click to expand...
Most of you are giving the time proven and correct response: It's a phase and she'll grow out of it. The problem is that the three of us are all stuck here and there is no "normalcy in sight". Without a return to life as normal all flaws seem to be magnified and blown out of proportion. I'm concerned that my wife will not have the patience for my daughter to grow out of her phase. My wife's voice is getting louder and her patience is gone. My DD recognizes the seriousness of our current family dynamic and I think she is gonna change.
OK....there...I've filled you guys in honestly and now I'd like to trust that you'll pray for us.
Personally, it would be helpful to me if I stopped posting on this subject now.
Thanks for understanding (re me not talking about this further) and thanks for caring.
 
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