Remember, this is a guy who doesn't know the difference between the cold and flu.
Because it's Christmas, and this issue seems very important to you, I'm going to offer the official TP2000 explanation of what I think the difference between a cold and flu is for about the seventh or eighth time.
TP2000 Explains The Cold vs. A Flu
Cold = Sniffles, runny nose, mild cough, nasal congestion. You head is all stopped up, but you don't run a fever and you can generally get on with your life with some Dayquil and pocket Kleenex. There is no vaccine for what Americans call "the common cold". You get to sit in bed having soup and watching The Price Is Right.
Flu = More severe symptoms than a cold. Symptoms aren't just confined to your head, but can get down into your lungs with a worse cough. Often has a fever and body aches. You often lose your appetite and don't even want to watch The Price Is Right. Old and infirm people need to treat the flu more seriously. There's a vaccine for flu, but it varies year to year on how effective that year's vaccine is because there are dozens of strains, and tens of thousands of Americans die each year from the flu.
Also, when I open my medicine cabinet to grab something to treat a cold, I instantly start humming this jingle even though it's not really cold medicine. Sing it with me friends!