objr said:
...So...let us jion the evolusion of the english languege...
Then agen it could be sed that american english is alraedy screwed up... :lookaroun
Reminds me of an email I received...
THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE:
We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; but the
plural of ox became oxen not oxes. One fowl is a goose,
but two are called geese, yet the plural of moose should
never be meese. You may find a lone mouse or a nest
full of mice; yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
If the plural of man is always called men, why shouldn't
the plural of pan be called pen? If I spoke of my foot
and show you my feet, and I give you a boot, would a
pair be called beet? If one is a tooth and a whole set are
teeth, why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?
Then one may be that, and three would be those, yet
hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural
of cat is cats, not cose. We speak of a brother and
also of brethren, but though we say mother, we never
say methren. Then the masculine pronouns are he, his
and him, but imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.
Some reasons to be grateful if you grew up speaking
English:
1. The bandage was wound around the wound.
2. The farm was used to produce produce.
3. The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4. We must polish the Polish furniture.
5. He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7. Since there is no time like the present, he thought it
was time to present the present.
8. At the Army base, a bass was painted on the head
of a bass drum.
9. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10. I did not object to the object.
11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12. There was a row among the oarsmen about how
to row.
13. They were too close to the door to close it.
14. The buck does funny things when the does are
present.
15. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer
line.
16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow
to sow.
17. The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18. After a number of Novocain injections, my jaw
got number.
19. Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
22. I spent last evening evening out a pile of dirt..
Screwy pronunciations can mess up your mind! For
example... If you have a rough cough, climbing can
be tough when going through the bough on a tree!
Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no
egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple
nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented
in England. We take English for granted. But if we
explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work
slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is
neither from Guinea -nor is it a pig.. And why is it that
writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce
and hammers don't ham? Doesn't it seem crazy that
you can make amends but not one amend? If you
have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but
one of them, what do you call it? If teachers taught,
why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats
vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking
English should be committed to an asylum for the
verbally insane.
In what language do people recite at a play and play at
a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have
noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim
chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man
and a wiseguy are opposites?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language
in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in
which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an
alarm goes off by going on. If Dad is Pop, how come
Mom isn't Mop?