Should I propose to my BF?

[Ilovewishes]

I'm old fashioned, and I think it's HIS job to propose. Doesn't meant you can't keep making the hints, but if you have to lower yourself and ask yourself, well then.... you know.....

There is nothing demeaning about asking your fella to marry you. Both my best friend and my sister proposed to their partners and both men were over the moon! They just hadn't even thought about proposing.

My two girls have never regretted it for a minute and after they did the initial proposal (complete with rings for their men folk) the boys went out, bought the girls their rings and proposed to them! So they were over the moon too!

I say go for it! We live in a modern world and at least that way you can choose the location and circumstances.

 

[mrscricket]

I'm old fashioned, and I think it's HIS job to propose. Doesn't meant you can't keep making the hints, but if you have to lower yourself and ask yourself, well then.... you know.....

Although i am not a man, lol, but if i were him then I would love you to propse because he might not be expecting the girl to do it.

On these threads I have heard a lot of romantic proposes done at Disney so check them out and steal some ideas . When your at Disney, tell a CM and they might be able to go along with your plan and do something if you get me.

Good luck.

 

[wild01ride]

I completely respect the comments that some of the other posters have made, but, being in a similar situation (from the guy's end), here's my perspective: I have always dreamed of making things perfect for my proposal and I'm completely in love and I am certain that the person I am with is the person that I am destined to spend my life with, but the problem is that the finances aren't in place to pull off the proposal that I've dreamed of. Furthermore, we are in a unique situation like you where she was in a previous marriage and I haven't been married before and there are lots of unique factors involved. It's not that I don't want to propose - I would marry my love today if I could. But there are those criteria, traditions, etc. that "require" the ring, etc., etc. to make it "legitimate".
For me, we have talked about marriage, but no matter what, in my heart, I need to come up with a ring and a moment to put things properly into place.
As others have said, only you know your man. My guess is that he wants to "do things right" according to his dreams in his mind.
Being in my unique situatio, I don't believe in tradition in the typical sense, but at the same time, I know that there is a certain move that I need to make.
Regardless, you mentioned that you haven't specifically talked about marriage- my suggestion is to tell him you want to marry him - not necessarily "propose" to him, but make it clear where you stand with him in the long-term scheme of things.

Good luck and let us know how things play out!

 

[emmersandjack]

My husband proposed to me at the MK in 2000. At the time of his proposal he couldn't afford a ring either. So in lieu of the BIG ring, he purchased a super inexpensive Mickey head ring with a stone in the center (by inexpensive I mean like $11). Then as we walked down the right side of the castle (coming from Fantasyland) he grabbed my hand and asked me to marry him. It's been 7 years since he's asked and over 6 years that we've been married and I still have that ring tucked away as a priceless memory.

Some people dream of the details, I just enjoyed the moment. The ring was secondary to the commitment that the proposal promised.

Maybe you could mosey around when your in the world and casually admire a ring and he'll get the idea himself. Or you could print this post out and edit it a bit and leave out somewhere obvious for him to see.:lookaroun


You'll be fine. You sound like 2 people in love and if Disney has taught us anything it's that true love conquers all.

 

[Uponastar]

This is what stands out to me the most. I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with you asking just because you're a woman...if he's a shy type and you're more assertive, it might make more sense in context of your relationship.

But I don't think it would be a good idea to just pop the question without ever discussing it beforehand. The typical rule for proposals is you only ask if you're pretty sure you know what the answer will be. If you propose without ever discussing the issue with him, you could find some underlying anxiety that causes him to say no, leading to an embarrassing or awkward moment for you.

I'd say you should have a few more of those "forever" conversations and cover more specific ground before going any further. Ask him outright what he thinks of the idea of marrying you, and use that conversation to show your openness to the idea. That's one way to get closer to the response you're hoping for without setting yourself up so starkly, like a proposal out of the blue would.

I totally agree.
The fact that the two of you never discussed marriage sent up a red flag for me. I see nothing wrong with you doing the asking, but I would not advise taking that step until some serious discussion has taken place. You need to hear one another's views on that subject, before the question is popped.

 

[lilclerk]

My husband proposed to me at the MK in 2000. At the time of his proposal he couldn't afford a ring either. So in lieu of the BIG ring, he purchased a super inexpensive Mickey head ring with a stone in the center (by inexpensive I mean like $11). Then as we walked down the right side of the castle (coming from Fantasyland) he grabbed my hand and asked me to marry him. It's been 7 years since he's asked and over 6 years that we've been married and I still have that ring tucked away as a priceless memory.

Oh that is too sweet!

 

[unkadug]

A lot of guys spend a lot of time in coming up with a unique way to pop the question. A lot of planning can take place so that the girl/woman has a memory to last a lifetime.

You may take that joy away from both of you.

 

[emmersandjack]

Oh that is too sweet!

Thanks! I think he's a keeper. :king:

 

[Master__Gracey]

A lot of guys spend a lot of time in coming up with a unique way to pop the question. A lot of planning can take place so that the girl/woman has a memory to last a lifetime.

You may take that joy away from both of you.

This is my thought also. And even if you say "But I don't really care about all that", he might. It might be that he wants to be able to say it was perfect when you recollect it later and he's waiting to be able to make that possible.

 

[LoriMistress]

Don't propose to your boyfriend!!!

There are numerous reasons on why but I'll at least list a few:

1. If you propose to your boyfriend, you're basically stripping him of his manhood and you'll always be known as the "romantic" one.

2. He could be planning to propose to you.

3. There's always a chance that he may not WANT to marry you. He may think that you're a great girl, but not marriage material. Bottom line: if he truly is interested in you--he'll propose to you. If a guy truly loves you his actions show. If you've been together for numerous years and he avoids talking about marriage/commitment/etc. then he's not ready to commit...to YOU. It sounds painful but that may be the sitaution.

Please don't take this as a personal attack...you're asking our options and I'm providing you my opinion.

 

[mousermerf]

Well, i'll give you the advice I learned from various reality TV shows, mini-series dramas, relationships for dummies, and lifetime television.

It's time for the "where is this relationship going?" conversation. Two people being in the same boat about the future, particularly of them together, is quite important to a relationship. Sounds silly, but if you don't talk about it you don't know where the other person stands - nor does he know where you stand. Neither party is psychic nor should be expected to be. "How come you don't know i feel that way" Umm, maybe because you didn't mention it?

Now, this is where we diverge from lifetime television in that we're not going to be in a love triangle with the repair man and we're not going to solve hard criminal cases with our feminine wit and ingenuity. You just need to say "Let's talk about us.. Where is this relationship going in your opinion?"

It sounds like you've asked some of the right questions, but you still need to really discuss the matter. You said he's broke - he may well want a big fancy wedding and thus not want to get involved in it until he has the proper finances. Me nor my other half want to really tie the knot until we're out of grad school. All kinds of circumstances. Discuss discuss discuss.

Then maybe solve one of those hard hitting criminal cases.

 

[J_Krafty24]

My advice to anyone who is planning on proposing - Make sure you have talked about marriage and are on the same page and have at least mentioned in passing in the past couple months. Being suprised is great - being caught compleatly off guard can lead to a mighty uncomfortable situation - even if they fully intend to say yes.

 

[kshark]

I'm gonna have to go with no. Personally I agree with alot of what the guys had to say on this thread!! I have been with my guy for 5 years now and yes I badly would like that ring - but I know whatever he planning is going to be worth the wait!

 

[HeySuburbia]

...

 

[Wilt Dasney]

The OP has had a week to soak up all our brilliant advice. I'm curious if she's any closer to making a decision yet. :lol:

 

[Fluxuated]

She's probably not replied, because no doubt she didn't get the advice she wanted to hear. At least that's my impression from her replies at the beginning of the thread.

 

[Ravenclaw87]

...Didn't Britney Spears propose to Kevin Federline??? :shrug:

Just kidding. I think you just have to do whatever YOU feel you should do.

 

[Cole'sMom]

As long as you two are on the same wavelength, I don't think it matters who asks whom. If you two are not in a position to buy a diamond right now, why not pick out a fun sterling Disney ring from one of the jewelry shops at WDW that symbolizes your special bond? I think that would take a lot of the stress off of your shoulders! I saw a lot of rings I liked when I was down there last. I wish you the best of luck; you two will know when it is the perfect time. Keep us updated!

 

[sbkline]

All I can do is give you MY point of view as a traditionalist, old school and, from the point of view of some, a male chauvanist. :lol:

From my old school point of view, I believe that the husband should be the head of the household and the primary breadwinner, and the traditional "man of the house" in regards to his duties in the home.

So it should come as no surprise that I'm not a big fan of the idea of the woman proposing to the man. And just as I would not feel comfortable with my wife being the primary breadwinner of the family, I most certainly would not be comfortable with her being the one to open up a ring and "pop the question".

I think you should let your boyfriend be the "man" and be the one to do the proposing.

But again, that's just me and I know people of my point of view are rapidly becoming the minority, so I don't expect many people to jump up and agree with me.

 

[unkadug]

All I can do is give you MY point of view as a traditionalist, old school and, from the point of view of some, a male chauvanist. :lol:

From my old school point of view, I believe that the husband should be the head of the household and the primary breadwinner, and the traditional "man of the house" in regards to his duties in the home.

So it should come as no surprise that I'm not a big fan of the idea of the woman proposing to the man. And just as I would not feel comfortable with my wife being the primary breadwinner of the family, I most certainly would not be comfortable with her being the one to open up a ring and "pop the question".

I think you should let your boyfriend be the "man" and be the one to do the proposing.

But again, that's just me and I know people of my point of view are rapidly becoming the minority, so I don't expect many people to jump up and agree with me.

I agree...did I just say that?

We finally agree on something! :wave: :lol: