Proud to be British

CAPTAIN HOOK

Well-Known Member
Original Poster
Being British is about driving a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab, sitting on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.

Oh and......

Only in Britain ... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Only in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in Britain... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.

Only in Britain... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.

Only in Britain .. do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the driveway and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

Only in Britain... are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.

NOT TO MENTION..

3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.

142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.

58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.

31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.

19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.

British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling accidents.

101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.

18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper (sweater) with a lit cigarette in their mouth.

A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.

5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of control Scalextric cars. And finally.........

In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet.

I am proud to be British :sohappy:
 
CAPTAIN HOOK said:
Only in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

We do that here too, dahling!

LOVED your post.
 

disney_nutter

Active Member
nighttimewisher said:
now i am just plain sad! stupid Portugal!


Your sad, im over the moon at the news if they had won we wud be hearing ab it for another 40 years as they still havent shut up ab 1966. I was good match and the portugal goalie knew what he was doing.
 

nighttimewisher

Well-Known Member
disney_nutter said:
Your sad, im over the moon at the news if they had won we wud be hearing ab it for another 40 years as they still havent shut up ab 1966. I was good match and the portugal goalie knew what he was doing.

lol you may be right there. At least we dont have to watch them anymore.
 

Pumbas Nakasak

Heading for the great escape.
Brings a tear to a glass eye.

But us Jocks do it better....

Shortest life expectancy in developed world
why pizza and Mars bars but for added thrills we deep fry them

Glasgow highest murder rate per head of population outside of war zones

Highest rates of Cancer and heart disease in Europe

90 hour wait for a patient in A&E

Edinburgh highest rate of heroin use in Europe

But dont worry Scotlands First Minister Joke McConnell has identified that football fans singing "bigoted" songs and waving flags is Scotlands secret shame and top of his agenda.
:mad: :eek: :rolleyes:
 

tenchu

Well-Known Member
Pumbas Nakasak said:
Brings a tear to a glass eye.

But us Jocks do it better....

Shortest life expectancy in developed world
why pizza and Mars bars but for added thrills we deep fry them

Glasgow highest murder rate per head of population outside of war zones

Highest rates of Cancer and heart disease in Europe

90 hour wait for a patient in A&E

Edinburgh highest rate of heroin use in Europe

But dont worry Scotlands First Minister Joke McConnell has identified that football fans singing "bigoted" songs and waving flags is Scotlands secret shame and top of his agenda.
:mad: :eek: :rolleyes:

We are the salt(ed peanuts, with an extra large coke and a couple of haggis suppers while you're at it) of the earth.
 

dopey

New Member
CAPTAIN HOOK said:
British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling accidents.

Is "cracker pulling" something naughty?

I can't imagine such accidents being caused by a dry, salty biscuit. Then, again, British cuisine is notorious.

Congratulations and all on your Britishness.
 

DMC-12

It's HarmonioUS, NOT HarmoniYOU.
dopey said:
Is "cracker pulling" something naughty?


Its what happens to people at the Dan Ryan and 35th. They be pulling crackers out of their cars left and right. I think its British slang for "car-jacking". :lol: :lookaroun :eek:
 

dopey

New Member
Pumbas Nakasak said:
What you deep fry Mars bars in Carolina, must be a kick back to the Empire days:animwink:

I actually saw someone serving deep-fried Twinkies on the North Side of Chicago.

I think they were serving them Cosmopolitan martinis.
 

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