How can I, as a white gay man, tell them what they need or feel is invalid or wrong?
Because white gay men for most of history were treated at least as badly as the entire LGBT community. Glad you didn't have to live that yourself.
While we may have some advantages if we "blend," we are not only part of the community, but a part that played a very integral role in opening the closet door for the rest. And it would have been very easy to leave off the "T." We, as a community, chose not to do that.
And then how can I reconcile the history of the police, which is really the reason we have pride in the first place, and the lack of any true amends by the police? They have work to do - and until that is done, the institution can stay away from our parades.
Because that's not the entire history of the police. Part of the history of the police is when they stopped raiding gay bars and then decades later started to participate in Pride events. That was a huge coup/win to have them physically join in and be present, to show solidarity either as members of the community or allies. Those of us who were around remember how important it was. Now they often have recruitment booths at pride to encourage LGBT folks to join the force.
Today some are taking that win away and saying, "Come back when you're perfect." As if any of us are perfect, no matter how we watch our words. We should also eliminate all white men from Pride, since so many of us fetishize black, latino, trans, etc., and since there is blatant racism throughout the community. Or just cancel it altogether because of the (thankfully dwindling) legendary feud between gay men and lesbians.
No, we're not perfect, no one is perfect, and there is a disturbing and pointless trend of purity testing among the younger generations, IMHO. I get in trouble here for acknowledging the simple truth that perspective comes with age, that we're all know-it-alls at 24, but now all the 24 year old know-it-alls are organized via twitter, although they aren't yet aware of the all important factor to "know what you don't know."
It's as asinine as those who said, "But Hillary was against gay marriage!" Well, duh! Of course she was, along with 90% of the rest of the world! The point is, she came around when it was properly explained to her, as so many people did.
We, in the 80's and 90's, marching, educating people including politicians, living by example, changing hearts and minds by coming out to loved ones with preconceived notions who could then no longer reconcile those notions and had to dig deeper on the LGBT questions - we are the reason why people born in the 90's and 2000's were able to come out at younger ages, to have Will & Grace on TV (to start) to have gay/straight alliance clubs (unheard of in my day, there was not one single out person in my high school of 1500 students.)
And we are
thrilled that the younger gay people can take our wins for granted and push for the next level. But I resent when our achievements are minimized because we were only two decades ahead of our time and not four.
I have been hearing your exact arguments all over the internet and vehemently fighting back against them on all fronts.
Sometimes, you take the win. And then keep going.
www.cbr.com
www.avclub.com
