PRIDE: Community

Songbird76

Songbird76

Well-Known Member
I have a question. As I am just an ally, I don't always know what's offensive to someone in the LGBTQ (ETC) community. My daughter watches a lot of videos on tiktok and talks about various things, and she identifies as A-romantic at this point. She's been calling the LGBTQ community the "alphabet mafia" because there are so many letters to identify the different groups. I think it's a pretty creative name, but is this acceptable or is this considered offensive?
 
Goofyernmost

Goofyernmost

Well-Known Member
Songbird76 said:
I have a question. As I am just an ally, I don't always know what's offensive to someone in the LGBTQ (ETC) community. My daughter watches a lot of videos on tiktok and talks about various things, and she identifies as A-romantic at this point. She's been calling the LGBTQ community the "alphabet mafia" because there are so many letters to identify the different groups. I think it's a pretty creative name, but is this acceptable or is this considered offensive?
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I think that the word mafia might be the more offensive word. Maybe a substitute word like Movement or ID or Co-op or Coalition. I think Alphabet Coalition would be a strong inoffensive descriptional name. I can be corrected on my opinion though.
 
Songbird76

Songbird76

Well-Known Member
Goofyernmost said:
I think that the word mafia might be the more offensive word. Maybe a substitute word like Movement or ID or Co-op or Coalition. I think Alphabet Coalition would be a strong inoffensive descriptional name. I can be corrected on my opinion though.
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I don't think it's for me, as a straight ally, to tell people who are actually part of the LGBTQ movement what they should and shouldn't be offended by. My brother wasn't offended by it, but then not everyone is offended by the same things. I'd rather get the ok from many people from the group affected, not just one. Just like I know some women call each other the B word....I don't use it, but being a woman, I feel differently about another woman using it than I do about a man using it. When you are part of the community, the label placed on you can change your feelings, depending on who is using the term. If it's something offensive for a straight ally to say, I won't say it.

I think of it like any nickname. My name is Susan. A common nickname for Susan is "Suzy", which I HATE. I don't particularly like to be called Sue, either. There may be many people who don't think there is anything wrong with the name "Suzy", but I don't like being called that. It shouldn't matter what OTHER people think is offensive or not. It matters how it makes ME feel, as the person being called by that name. It's not for someone named Bob to tell me that Suzy is a perfectly acceptable nickname for Susan.
Sorry....I hope that's not too close to getting into a political discussion. I just don't want to be offensive, so I'd like to get the opinion of people to whom the term would actually apply.
 
Goofyernmost

Goofyernmost

Well-Known Member
Songbird76 said:
I don't think it's for me, as a straight ally, to tell people who are actually part of the LGBTQ movement what they should and shouldn't be offended by. My brother wasn't offended by it, but then not everyone is offended by the same things. I'd rather get the ok from many people from the group affected, not just one. Just like I know some women call each other the B word....I don't use it, but being a woman, I feel differently about another woman using it than I do about a man using it. When you are part of the community, the label placed on you can change your feelings, depending on who is using the term. If it's something offensive for a straight ally to say, I won't say it.

I think of it like any nickname. My name is Susan. A common nickname for Susan is "Suzy", which I HATE. I don't particularly like to be called Sue, either. There may be many people who don't think there is anything wrong with the name "Suzy", but I don't like being called that. It shouldn't matter what OTHER people think is offensive or not. It matters how it makes ME feel, as the person being called by that name. It's not for someone named Bob to tell me that Suzy is a perfectly acceptable nickname for Susan.
Sorry....I hope that's not too close to getting into a political discussion. I just don't want to be offensive, so I'd like to get the opinion of people to whom the term would actually apply.
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Well, that was my point. The Mafia is an illegal organization that has murdered, maimed, stolen and done a number of things that are socially and morally reprehensible. To associate LGBTQ with that group is adding a negative to a group of people that are seeking approval and acceptance. It also implies violence. It is a cute name but probably more harmful than needed. You can use Susan, Sue and Suzy without any connective tissue to negativity. It's not the same thing at all. That is not offensive, it is just against your desires. My name is Russell and I want everyone to call me Russ, but they don't. Annoys me, yup, but quickly forgotten and hard to connect anything to directly. My middle name was used throughout my childhood by my family and friends because my first name is the same as my Dad's and to have both of us in the same household seemed confusing to my parents so they used my middle name for everything, school, church, everything. The family that remains still calls me by that name, and I hate it and always have. But, they mean no harm and it is my name after all.

Off topic, and for the benefit of teaching an old person something new, in LGBTQ what is the difference between LG and Q. To me the Q was used as a slur, does it stand for something different now.
 
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MisterPenguin

MisterPenguin

President of Animal Kingdom
Premium Member
Songbird76 said:
I have a question. As I am just an ally, I don't always know what's offensive to someone in the LGBTQ (ETC) community. My daughter watches a lot of videos on tiktok and talks about various things, and she identifies as A-romantic at this point. She's been calling the LGBTQ community the "alphabet mafia" because there are so many letters to identify the different groups. I think it's a pretty creative name, but is this acceptable or is this considered offensive?
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Your daughter may not fully understand what 'the mafia' is all about: organized crime that enforces its control through terrorism and assassination.

So, no, it's not appropriate unless you're actually making the point that one thinks that the recognition the queer community is asking for is akin to criminal activity, terrorism, and assassination. Even if meant figuratively, it's not a positive portrayal.

If one thinks the multiplicity of letters goes too far (and some in the queer community do... no group is homogeneous in their thoughts), then maybe calling it "alphabet soup" would get across the point. But... even then... outsiders shouldn't try to be funny or witty about matters an oppressed group is trying to deal with. It would be better to say truthfully, "I can't keep up with and get confused by all the letter-abbreviations."

For people in that camp, use the "+" as in LGTB+ as a shorthand for "and all others with differing sexual identities."
 
uncle jimmy

uncle jimmy

Premium Member
Songbird76 said:
I have a question. As I am just an ally, I don't always know what's offensive to someone in the LGBTQ (ETC) community. My daughter watches a lot of videos on tiktok and talks about various things, and she identifies as A-romantic at this point. She's been calling the LGBTQ community the "alphabet mafia" because there are so many letters to identify the different groups. I think it's a pretty creative name, but is this acceptable or is this considered offensive?
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Community, we are the LGBTQ Community.

"Alphabet mafia is a slightly controversial term used to refer to LGBTQIA people. Originally coined by intolerant people who intended to mock the ever-growing LGBTQIA (or LGBTTQQIAAP, if you really want to go for broke) acronym, alphabet mafia has since been reclaimed by LGBTQIA people who think the label sounds dope as heck.

The bigots who created the term alphabet mafia intended to demonize non-heteronormative people by implying they were members of a secret, unsavory cabal. In years past, similarly intolerant people attempted to label gay people as part of the gay or homosexual mafia.

However, the name alphabet mafia did not catch on among bigots - possibly because they realized how cool it sounded. Claiming the term as their own, LGBTQIA people have since begun referring to themselves as members of the alphabet mafia. There is now even an LGBTQ+ podcast and clothing brand that calls itself The Alphabet Mafia.

Even among LGBTQIA people, however, there are some who would prefer their community stop using the term alphabet mafia. For example, those who live in countries where the mafia is a real, threatening presence may be uncomfortable thinking of themselves as members of the alphabet mafia." - From Slangit
 
Songbird76

Songbird76

Well-Known Member
uncle jimmy said:
Community, we are the LGBTQ Community.

"Alphabet mafia is a slightly controversial term used to refer to LGBTQIA people. Originally coined by intolerant people who intended to mock the ever-growing LGBTQIA (or LGBTTQQIAAP, if you really want to go for broke) acronym, alphabet mafia has since been reclaimed by LGBTQIA people who think the label sounds dope as heck.

The bigots who created the term alphabet mafia intended to demonize non-heteronormative people by implying they were members of a secret, unsavory cabal. In years past, similarly intolerant people attempted to label gay people as part of the gay or homosexual mafia.

However, the name alphabet mafia did not catch on among bigots - possibly because they realized how cool it sounded. Claiming the term as their own, LGBTQIA people have since begun referring to themselves as members of the alphabet mafia. There is now even an LGBTQ+ podcast and clothing brand that calls itself The Alphabet Mafia.

Even among LGBTQIA people, however, there are some who would prefer their community stop using the term alphabet mafia. For example, those who live in countries where the mafia is a real, threatening presence may be uncomfortable thinking of themselves as members of the alphabet mafia." - From Slangit
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That was very interesting to read! Thank you! I didn't know the history, and I doubt my daughter does either....she just heard it and thought it sounded cool.
 
uncle jimmy

uncle jimmy

Premium Member
Tony the Tigger said:
This is me going on record disagreeing with Pride NYC banning police groups and police presence from Pride. Only non-organized police may march.

For 4 or 5 years!
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I saw that and was a bit taken back by NYC Pride banning them for that long.

But, we still want you to protect our crowds, close streets for us, keep protesters away... you just can't celebrate pride with us as a gay NYPD officer. They are a highlight!
 
Tony the Tigger

Tony the Tigger

Well-Known Member
uncle jimmy said:
I saw that and was a bit taken back by NYC Pride banning them for that long.

But, we still want you to protect our crowds, close streets for us, keep protesters away... you just can't celebrate pride with us as a gay NYPD officer. They are a highlight!
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Actually, not even that. On-duty police have to stay a block away, and disturbances will be handled by “private security.” (How many of those are ex-police, anyway?)
 

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