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- Thread starter Maria
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FanofDinsey1981
Active Member
though it is funny... and clever.....
tenchu
Well-Known Member
Originally posted by Maria
LOL!! :lol:
This is another one I got today... Seems very "appropriate" for this community... hehehe
------------------------------------
Sometimes it DOES take a Rocket Scientist (true
story):
Scientists at NASA built a gun specifically to launch
dead chickens at the windshields of airliners,
military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at
maximum velocity. The idea was to simulate the
frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl,
to test the strength of the windshields.
British engineers heard about the gun and were eager
to test it on the windshields of their new high speed
trains. Arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to
the British engineers.
When the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as
the chicken hurled out of the barrel, crashed into the
shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens,
blasted through the control console, snapped the
engineer's backrest in two and embedded itself in the
back wall of the cabin, like an arrow shot from a bow.
The horrified Brits sent NASA the disastrous results
of the experiment, along with the designs of the
windshield and begged the US scientists for
suggestions.
NASA responded with a one-line memo: "Defrost the
chicken."
The only problem with this story is that britain doesn't have any high speed trains. They all break down when they go above 20 mph!
Originally posted by Maria
The things you always wanted to say.... they could apply any day here too!
------------------------------------
The things you'd really like to say...
I can see your point, but I still think you're full of it.
I don't know what your problem is, but I bet it's hard
to pronounce.
How about never? Is never good for you?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself
in public.
I'm really easy to get along with once you see it my way.
I'll try being nicer if you try being smarter.
I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
It sounds like English but I can't understand a word
you're saying.
I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
This isn't an office. This is hell with fluorescent lighting.
I started out with nothing...and I still have most of it left.
If I throw a stick, will you leave?
Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
Chaos, panic, and disorder - my work here is done
You don't have my favorite...
"It's not attention deficit, I'm just ignoring you"
(hehehe, I have that on a shirt)
Michael the Dragon Slayer was an official in King Arthur's
court. He had a long standing obsession to nuzzle the beautiful Queen's voluptuous , but he knew the penalty for this would be death.
One day he revealed his secret desire to his colleague,
Haratio the Physician, who was the King's chief doctor. Haratio the Physician exclaimed that he could arrange for Michael the Dragon Slayer to satisfy
his desire, but it would cost him 1,000 gold coins to arrange it.
Without pause, Michael the Dragon Slayer readily agreed.
The next day, Haratio the Physician made a batch of itching
powder and poured a little bit into the Queen's massive brassiere while she was taking a bath. Soon after she dressed, the itching commenced and grew intense.
Upon being summoned to the Royal Chambers to address this
incident, Haratio the Physician informed the King and Queen that only a special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and that tests had shown that only the saliva of Michael the Dragon Slayer had present the antidote to cure the itch.
King Arthur quickly summoned Michael the Dragon Slayer.
Haratio the Physician then slipped Michael the Dragon Slayer
the antidote for the itching powder, which he quickly put into his mouth, and for the next four hours, worked passionately on the Queen's voluptuous and magnificent .
The Queen's itching was eventually relieved, and Michael the
Dragon Slayer left satisfied and as a hero.
Upon returning to his chamber, Michael the Dragon Slayer
found Haratio the Physician demanding his payment of 1,000 gold coins. With his obsession now satisfied, Michael the Dragon Slayer couldn't care less, and knowing that Haratio the Physician could never report this matter to the King, shooed him away with no payment made.
The next day, Haratio the Physician slipped a massive dose of
the same itching powder into King Arthur's loin cloth. The distraught quickly summoned Michael the Dragon Slayer . . .
MORAL OF THE STORY: Pay your bills.
:animwink:
court. He had a long standing obsession to nuzzle the beautiful Queen's voluptuous , but he knew the penalty for this would be death.
One day he revealed his secret desire to his colleague,
Haratio the Physician, who was the King's chief doctor. Haratio the Physician exclaimed that he could arrange for Michael the Dragon Slayer to satisfy
his desire, but it would cost him 1,000 gold coins to arrange it.
Without pause, Michael the Dragon Slayer readily agreed.
The next day, Haratio the Physician made a batch of itching
powder and poured a little bit into the Queen's massive brassiere while she was taking a bath. Soon after she dressed, the itching commenced and grew intense.
Upon being summoned to the Royal Chambers to address this
incident, Haratio the Physician informed the King and Queen that only a special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and that tests had shown that only the saliva of Michael the Dragon Slayer had present the antidote to cure the itch.
King Arthur quickly summoned Michael the Dragon Slayer.
Haratio the Physician then slipped Michael the Dragon Slayer
the antidote for the itching powder, which he quickly put into his mouth, and for the next four hours, worked passionately on the Queen's voluptuous and magnificent .
The Queen's itching was eventually relieved, and Michael the
Dragon Slayer left satisfied and as a hero.
Upon returning to his chamber, Michael the Dragon Slayer
found Haratio the Physician demanding his payment of 1,000 gold coins. With his obsession now satisfied, Michael the Dragon Slayer couldn't care less, and knowing that Haratio the Physician could never report this matter to the King, shooed him away with no payment made.
The next day, Haratio the Physician slipped a massive dose of
the same itching powder into King Arthur's loin cloth. The distraught quickly summoned Michael the Dragon Slayer . . .
MORAL OF THE STORY: Pay your bills.
:animwink:
FanofDinsey1981
Active Member
another great one maria!
Camelot
Active Member
A doctor was having an affair with his nurse, and shortly after this started, she told him she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a large sum of money and asked to go to Italy anad have the baby there.
"But how will I let you know the baby is born?" she asked
He replied, "Just send me a postcard and write ' spaghetti' on the back."
Not knowing what else to do, the nures took the money and flew to Italy. Six months went by and then one day the doctor's wife called him at the office and explained, "Dear, you received a very strange postcard in the mail today and I don't understand what it means."
The doctor said, "Just wait until I get home and read it and I will explain it to you."
Later that evening the doctor came home, read the postcard and fell to the floor with a heart attack, and died.
So the wife picked up the card and read. "SPAGHETTI, SPAGHETTI,
SPAGHETTI, SPAGHETTI, two with sausage and meatballs and two without."
"But how will I let you know the baby is born?" she asked
He replied, "Just send me a postcard and write ' spaghetti' on the back."
Not knowing what else to do, the nures took the money and flew to Italy. Six months went by and then one day the doctor's wife called him at the office and explained, "Dear, you received a very strange postcard in the mail today and I don't understand what it means."
The doctor said, "Just wait until I get home and read it and I will explain it to you."
Later that evening the doctor came home, read the postcard and fell to the floor with a heart attack, and died.
So the wife picked up the card and read. "SPAGHETTI, SPAGHETTI,
SPAGHETTI, SPAGHETTI, two with sausage and meatballs and two without."
mightyduck
Well-Known Member
You guys are great. Very funny!
And Maria, I don't see any filth in your joke at all....
Very funny! And Maria, I don't see any filth in your joke at all....
DisneyWorldGuru
New Member
I have a really dirty one I got today but I am scared of being kicked of WDWMagic.com