just back, etiquette questions

[happymom52003]

But no one shoud EXPECT anyone to give up a seat for them, no matter what their situation is.

Well, I guess you can't *expect* it seeing how self centered so many people in our society are these days, but you can sure hope that if you are truly in need of a seat on a bus, there will be someone in your vicinity who will offer you one.

 

[Flower'sChild]

I have heard many times before when people will say stuff like "I am old-fashioned and I give up my bus seat to any woman" and/or "I was raised to give up my bus seat to any woman who is standing".


Now I don't give up my bus seat to someone just because they are a woman. You see the fact that someone is a woman does not mean that she has more rights than me. I would feel this way no matter if I was born in 1922,1950,1975,1995 or whatever year that I was born in.


Also as to how I was raised. I am not saying my parents raised me to give up my bus seat to women. I am not saying my parents did not raise me to give up my bus seat to women. What I am saying is that I am someone who likes to figure things out for himself.

 

[wdwfan22]

Well, I guess you can't *expect* it seeing how self centered so many people in our society are these days, but you can sure hope that if you are truly in need of a seat on a bus, there will be someone in your vicinity who will offer you one.

I look at it this way, if you want to sit on the ride home then rent a car or wait for the next bus.

 

[Eyorefan]

I look at it this way, if you want to sit on the ride home then rent a car or wait for the next bus.

Thank you! My point exactly.

 

[Phonedave]

I look at it this way, if you want to sit on the ride home then rent a car or wait for the next bus.

But what if you wait for the next bus, and then are expected to stand because some kids came on board?

The only solution is to wait for the absolutely LAST bus of the night, which will be filled with able bodied men, all sitting down.


-dave

 

[happymom52003]

I look at it this way, if you want to sit on the ride home then rent a car or wait for the next bus.

Thank you! My point exactly.

So if there was an elderly person on the bus who would have a hard time balancing, and you noticed them standing...and you yourself were physically able to stand....you would not offer them your seat? You would tell them to get off and wait for the next bus?

Wow. I don't even know what to say to that. I guess it really does not matter what me or anyone else says, though.

Some day, in some way, you are going to need help from a total stranger....we all do at some point. Hopefully for you, that stranger won't have your attitude.

 

[slappy magoo]

Here's how I handle it. If I'm on a crowded bus, I don't even bother sitting. This way, I don't have a seat to give up.

If the bus isn't crowded when I sit, but GETS crowded before we start moving, I stand in front of my wife, so if anyone accidentally stumbles on her, it's someone that won't mind feeling her up...or at least...mind as much.

If I DO wind up giving my seat to anyone, I point to able-bodied people who didn't have the class to do so and bellow in a sing-song voice "I'm better than yoooo-ooooou!" Again and again and again until I reach my stop or the cough medicine kicks in.

 

[UberPlannerMom]

Now- I do have to admit there have been times where I have gotten frustrated at people for not giving up their seats, usually in the waiting area at restaurants, and from the sounds of it, those are the same people who would *never* give up their seats on the bus. I can never understand how someone can look at my grandmother, who has only one leg!, and then continue to sit while she tries to find a way to balance for the 30 minute wait. Usually it would just be a matter of getting to know your neighbor a little better- but no! People do not want to be slightly uncomfortable to help someone else stop being in actual pain!

 

[UberPlannerMom]

Here's how I handle it. If I'm on a crowded bus, I don't even bother sitting. This way, I don't have a seat to give up.

If the bus isn't crowded when I sit, but GETS crowded before we start moving, I stand in front of my wife, so if anyone accidentally stumbles on her, it's someone that won't mind feeling her up...or at least...mind as much.

If I DO wind up giving my seat to anyone, I point to able-bodied people who didn't have the class to do so and bellow in a sing-song voice "I'm better than yoooo-ooooou!" Again and again and again until I reach my stop or the cough medicine kicks in.

While I am sure you were jesting in this post, I do have to admit that if I am getting to sit on a crowded bus I ask my husband to stand in front of me. That way if the person in front of me stumbles and I end up with their nether regions pushed in to my face it is someone where I don't feel like I need to become catholic and go give confession! If there is going to be a case of accidentaly feeling up, I definitely want it to be my hubby! :ROFLOL:

 

[Eyorefan]

So if there was an elderly person on the bus who would have a hard time balancing, and you noticed them standing...and you yourself were physically able to stand....you would not offer them your seat? You would tell them to get off and wait for the next bus?

Wow. I don't even know what to say to that. I guess it really does not matter what me or anyone else says, though.

Some day, in some way, you are going to need help from a total stranger....we all do at some point. Hopefully for you, that stranger won't have your attitude.

That's not really what my comment was about at all. Whether or not I would personally chose to give up a seat has nothing to do with a person feeling entiled to someone else's good will.

 

[Phonedave]

So if there was an elderly person on the bus who would have a hard time balancing, and you noticed them standing...and you yourself were physically able to stand....you would not offer them your seat? You would tell them to get off and wait for the next bus?

Wow. I don't even know what to say to that. I guess it really does not matter what me or anyone else says, though.

Some day, in some way, you are going to need help from a total stranger....we all do at some point. Hopefully for you, that stranger won't have your attitude.

Just to play devils advocate here.

Lets say you are a physical fit middle aged man, it's been a long day in the parks, and you are hot and very tired.

You wait in the bus line, the bus comes up, and just before you get on you realise there are no seats left, so you tell others to go before you. You are going to wait for the next bus.

The next bus comes and you get on and take your seat. The bus fills up and then becomes standees only. the last standee to squeeze on is ...

A middle aged physically fit woman - do you offer your seat
A older man - do you offer your seat
A older woman - do you offer your seat
A small child (with parent) - do you offer your seat
Someone who is clearly handicapped / disabled (missing limb etc) - do you offer your seat.

Remember, you decided to wait and let other people on, so you could get a seat.

Lets say I really want to sit, but I am a middle aged fit man. How can I do so? Even if I wait for the next bus, the chances are very good that SOMEBODY on that bus is going to be "more deserving" of that seat than I am. How can I arrange it so I can sit, and still keep my karma clean?

-dave

 

[Pumbas Nakasak]

Sit and smile and let your karma ooze out like a silent fart.

 

[RedBaron]

Oh, I am so glad that we will have a car with us this year. We can all have a seat at the end of the day and feel good about it.

 

[sbkline]

Just to play devils advocate here.

Lets say you are a physical fit middle aged man, it's been a long day in the parks, and you are hot and very tired.

You wait in the bus line, the bus comes up, and just before you get on you realise there are no seats left, so you tell others to go before you. You are going to wait for the next bus.

The next bus comes and you get on and take your seat. The bus fills up and then becomes standees only. the last standee to squeeze on is ...

A middle aged physically fit woman - do you offer your seat
A older man - do you offer your seat
A older woman - do you offer your seat
A small child (with parent) - do you offer your seat
Someone who is clearly handicapped / disabled (missing limb etc) - do you offer your seat.

Remember, you decided to wait and let other people on, so you could get a seat.

Lets say I really want to sit, but I am a middle aged fit man. How can I do so? Even if I wait for the next bus, the chances are very good that SOMEBODY on that bus is going to be "more deserving" of that seat than I am. How can I arrange it so I can sit, and still keep my karma clean?

-dave

Maybe you can balance out the Karma thing by going to the food court as soon as you get off the bus and patrol the place for mug abusers. And if you're still afraid you're not "even", then you can forfeit a few bathroom visits on your upcoming McDonald's visits, in order to make up for some of the people who have pulled off the interstate for a quick bathroom break without purchasing anything. Just a couple suggestions. :shrug:

 

[sbkline]

On a more serious note, I agree with your point. It kind of reminds me of that Disney vacation DVD a few years ago with Erin and the black lady and the two men. The one guy wanted to take a group picture by giving the camera to another vacationer to take the picture. But each time, he would decide that he has to have THAT person in the picture too, and to give the camera to someone else, who he then decides has to be in the picture as well, and so on. The point is that he could go on and on like that and never get the picture taken, just as we could go on and on and on with this courtesy thing and end up walking back to the resort because there is always going to be someone who needs a seat more than you, or who even needs to be on that bus more than you, such that you keep giving up your spot to everyone and their grandma. You give up your seat for the old lady, then you notice someone outside with a crying kid who you decide needs your spot on the bus more so they can hurry up and get junior back to the room, etc.

Courtesy is all well and good and more people should have it. But there comes a point when you should just be mindful of the obvious cases of someone needed a seat more than you, and leave it at that. Cases such as the lady with one leg, or the single mother trying to corall two kids, etc, and not trying to be the sauve socialite giving up your seat for every female that comes on board.

If you really want to get really exteme about it, we could start talking about all the homeless, hungry or poor people that could really use that money that we spent going to WDW such that we could lay guilt trips on each other for daring to spend all that money on a Disney trip when we could be giving up that money to the man on the roadside holding the cardboard sign saying "will work for food".

Like I said, courtesy is fine but like all things, we can get ridiculous about it if we get carried away. You can run yourself ragged if you get carried away trying to save the world.

 

[mp2bill]

I love the people who expect that somebody else should give up their seat (presumably because you're very tired at the time). For all you know, they may have some sort of physical ailment or could be more tired than you are.

That being said, if I see somebody who's having a hard time standing (or somebody who seems like they may have a hard time standing...like if the bus hasn't started moving yet), then I always give up my seat, regardless of how tired I am. What's another 15 minutes of standing before hitting the sack?

 

[Rabflmom]

3 kids, 2 big backpacks, and 2 strollers ? as a parent I would rethink taking a bus at the busy times like park closing. I would either drive and park, take a cab, or hang out with the kiddies sleeping in their strollers till most people have left the park and the buses aren't as full. I hate hassles and would try to do things easier.
When my kids were small-even 3 months old- I just didn't bring everything including the kitchen sink to the parks just in case I might need them. I traveled light and as soon as we could get rid of the diaper bag I carried a big purse with a couple diapers and a bottle. LOL Remember one time at SW when potty training , I ended up buying underwear for my son 3 or 4 times from one of the gift shops, <g> But I wasn't loaded down with stuff to carry.
When the kids were hitting 3/1/2 to 4 the need for strollers was gone because they refused to be babies so that made going to the parks so much simpler too. Not saying all families could do my way or that they should, just saying it would be my Florida laid back way.