just back, etiquette questions

[Shere_Khan]

Im going to agree with this poster. I went back and reread your OP. Yes, you definitely had a moment that you could've informed some possible first timers that they were misinformed and wouldn't be happy with the outcome. Instead, your wife chose to say Whatever, Dude and sit infront of them. Then, your wife is ASSUMING they were signing about you. You have no idea what they were discussing. For all you know, they didn't give a rat's rear end about you sitting on the ground.


As for your bus situation, I see you said your children were seated....So....what's the problem? Is it terrible that two of them shared seats? Should they have all gotten a seat for their tiny little butts? Im sure they didn't mind sharing. It's not like they shared a seat belt or something. It was a spot on a bench that they obviously fit in together. So you think you should be able to walk on a bus LAST and get seats for 3 kids AND your WIFE? I think your wife was rude. I think it was rude of her to think she should be entitled to a seat. So nevermind the fact that 2 people DID give your kids seats, you guys expected more. I think if I had heard your wife making remarks and you staring at my husband, I would have said something to you for being an @$$.

EXACTLY! Best post of this entire thread.

This thread got way out of hand and I don't think many people even read what the OP said at all before they began arguing about who deserves seats. His wife was the one making rude comments because she did not get offered a seat. Why should she have? I am a woman and would never expect a seat to be offered to me. If I was holding an infant, it would be nice, but the OP's small children were seated so what is the problem??? I would also give up my seat in certain situations, but most definitely not for a woman who is making comments because no one let her entire family sit when they got on the bus last.

Not to mention, we haven't heard from the OP since page 1. And it also appears that they had a car:
http://forums.wdwmagic.com/showthread.php?p=4124023#post4124023

 

[benzgraveyard]

wow

You expect an adult to give up their seat for your child? Pick them up if they can't stand. Like someone said above. I'll give up my seat for an elderly person who has trouble standing but not a child whose parent could easily hold them on the turbulent bus ride. If you can't control your kids in public then you shouldn't take them to Disney World.

You probably have a leash on your kids too huh?
:hammer::hammer::hammer::hammer::hammer::shrug:

 

[happymom52003]

You expect an adult to give up their seat for your child? Pick them up if they can't stand. Like someone said above. I'll give up my seat for an elderly person who has trouble standing but not a child whose parent could easily hold them on the turbulent bus ride. If you can't control your kids in public then you shouldn't take them to Disney World.

You probably have a leash on your kids too huh?
:hammer::hammer::hammer::hammer::hammer::shrug:

Your post makes no sense.

First, people are suggesting giving up seats on buses for children who are not tall enough to safely hold on. It is for safety...not just because they are a kid. I would NEVER allow my child to sit in most places if there were adults who were standing (for example, some sort of waiting area in a restaurant, etc)...but on a bus such as at WDW, that is a totally different situation...it is about safety.

Second, how can a parent who is standing on a bus "easily" hold a kid at the same time? :brick:

Thirdly, what does "not being able to control your kids in public" have to do with them being too short to safely hold on while standing on a bus?

And fourthly, how on earth do you associate putting kids on "leashes" with wanting them to be safe while on a bus?:shrug:

 

[Hakunamatata]

I think it really boils down to this:

* There are situations where an able bodied person should offer a seat to someone not so able bodied.
* There will be people who will offer to do this when needed.
* There will be people who will not offer to do this when needed.
* Everyone has to live with the consequences of their decisions in life. Some will be morons, some will not.

 

[Phonedave]

And fourthly, how on earth do you associate putting kids on "leashes" with wanting them to be safe while on a bus?:shrug:

Because then you can lash them to the support pole. Jeeze!!!


-dave

 

[PurpleDragon]

I will always offer my seat to kids or families with kids, often the mother sits with the child in her lap. However I won't offer a seat to someone who bickers or complains about not getting a seat after being last person on the bus when there is standing room only. Also I've stood up on a bus and held on while holding my 3 year old son, it was not that difficult.

I get more irritated with having to wait 15 minutes for them to load the scooter for the guy who was too lazy to actually walk around WDW. I know some people have injuries and can't walk, but there are a number of overweight people who rent scooters to avoid walking. So now the rest of us have to wait for their scooter to be loaded, and then we loose 5 seats because the scooter takes up a whole row of 4 and then the person gets off and walks to a regular seat and sits down. Honestly people if you're too lazy to walk around WDW then don't go, don't rent a scooter and expect special treatment simply because you're lazy.

EDIT: I lost count of how many kids on leashes I saw last week, it was awful.

 

[devoy1701]

I will always offer my seat to kids or families with kids, often the mother sits with the child in her lap. However I won't offer a seat to someone who bickers or complains about not getting a seat after being last person on the bus when there is standing room only. Also I've stood up on a bus and held on while holding my 3 year old son, it was not that difficult.

I get more irritated with having to wait 15 minutes for them to load the scooter for the guy who was too lazy to actually walk around WDW. I know some people have injuries and can't walk, but there are a number of overweight people who rent scooters to avoid walking. So now the rest of us have to wait for their scooter to be loaded, and then we loose 5 seats because the scooter takes up a whole row of 4 and then the person gets off and walks to a regular seat and sits down. Honestly people if you're too lazy to walk around WDW then don't go, don't rent a scooter and expect special treatment simply because you're lazy.

EDIT: I lost count of how many kids on leashes I saw last week, it was awful.

Amen brother! Even moreso when there are 2 scooters in the same family! Thank goodness every person in a scooter or wheelchair doesn't get ushered to the front of the line anymore! And I am in no way, shape, or form complaining about anyone who needs an ECV or wheelchair for a legitimate handicapped reason.

 

[sbkline]

I don't know if anyone else has brought this up or not, in 11 pages, but here is my thoughts regarding the idea of it being "rude" to not offer a woman a seat.

When it comes to equality in this country, I see a double standard. On the one hand, everyone wants to think that women can and should do everything a man has traditionally done: join the fire department, the Police Department, go off to war, work in the factories, etc, etc. Why? Because women are equal of course, and can do everything a man can do, or so the argument goes.

Yet, when we get on a bus, we're supposed to assume that women are so weak that a man has to vacate his seat for her.

To me, that's one of the blatant double standards of our "equal rights" culture. We want women to be so equal that they can do whatever they want, but yet we want to give them special priveliges as well, on the basis that they are so frail and weak that they can't stand on a bus for half an hour. :shrug:

Kind of reminds me of that "I Love Lucy" episode where Lucy and Ethel insisted on "equal rights" from their husbands. Yet, "equal rights" wasn't so much fun anymore when they had to open their own doors, put on their own coats, etc.

 

[Mickey is King]

I will always offer my seat to kids or families with kids, often the mother sits with the child in her lap. However I won't offer a seat to someone who bickers or complains about not getting a seat after being last person on the bus when there is standing room only. Also I've stood up on a bus and held on while holding my 3 year old son, it was not that difficult.

I get more irritated with having to wait 15 minutes for them to load the scooter for the guy who was too lazy to actually walk around WDW. I know some people have injuries and can't walk, but there are a number of overweight people who rent scooters to avoid walking. So now the rest of us have to wait for their scooter to be loaded, and then we loose 5 seats because the scooter takes up a whole row of 4 and then the person gets off and walks to a regular seat and sits down. Honestly people if you're too lazy to walk around WDW then don't go, don't rent a scooter and expect special treatment simply because you're lazy.

EDIT: I lost count of how many kids on leashes I saw last week, it was awful.

AGREED.......That being said though, People with legit. problems that need a scooter/cart, NO PROB. with scooters.
As far as the leashes for kids go: I understand that some kids are terrors, i know a few. BUt when you are in a very public place- maintain control of the childeren please. And not like this:" Could you please stop hitting mommy and running into people and almost knocking them down sweety? o.k. ,mommy loves you"
Show some backbone parents, who is actually running the show here, you or your kids? I'm not saying be a hard ______ every minute of the day, but when it's due.........maybe something like this: " If you kids don't mellow out a tad and listen to mom and dad we will all go back to the room for the rest of today, and no pool when we get there" - but don't just threaten it, do it if you have to....If you had to follow through with it, and did, they won't mess w/you tomorrow. It worked for us......

 

[Mickey is King]

I don't know if anyone else has brought this up or not, in 11 pages, but here is my thoughts regarding the idea of it being "rude" to not offer a woman a seat.

When it comes to equality in this country, I see a double standard. On the one hand, everyone wants to think that women can and should do everything a man has traditionally done: join the fire department, the Police Department, go off to war, work in the factories, etc, etc. Why? Because women are equal of course, and can do everything a man can do, or so the argument goes.

Yet, when we get on a bus, we're supposed to assume that women are so weak that a man has to vacate his seat for her.

To me, that's one of the blatant double standards of our "equal rights" culture. We want women to be so equal that they can do whatever they want, but yet we want to give them special priveliges as well, on the basis that they are so frail and weak that they can't stand on a bus for half an hour. :shrug:

Yes, funny how that works out isn't it..........:veryconfu

 

[yellowstone]

As a man, I say give up your seat to the elderly or women. I do it all the time. I teach my boys to do it as well. I tell them to do it not for the thanks they may or may not get but because it is the right thing to do. Everyone needs to teach their children the meaning of character. You do it because it is right and you do it for you, regardless of wether someone sees you or gives you accolades for it.

 

[Mickey is King]

As a man, I say give up your seat to the elderly or women. I do it all the time. I teach my boys to do it as well. I tell them to do it not for the thanks they may or may not get but because it is the right thing to do. Everyone needs to teach their children the meaning of character. You do it because it is right and you do it for you, regardless of wether someone sees you or gives you accolades for it.

I also agree w/ this, must be part of the double standard in me, I am a victim of society I guess (not ment to be sarcastic, just the truth)

 

[happymom52003]

I don't know if anyone else has brought this up or not, in 11 pages, but here is my thoughts regarding the idea of it being "rude" to not offer a woman a seat.

When it comes to equality in this country, I see a double standard. On the one hand, everyone wants to think that women can and should do everything a man has traditionally done: join the fire department, the Police Department, go off to war, work in the factories, etc, etc. Why? Because women are equal of course, and can do everything a man can do, or so the argument goes.

Yet, when we get on a bus, we're supposed to assume that women are so weak that a man has to vacate his seat for her.

To me, that's one of the blatant double standards of our "equal rights" culture. We want women to be so equal that they can do whatever they want, but yet we want to give them special priveliges as well, on the basis that they are so frail and weak that they can't stand on a bus for half an hour. :shrug:

Kind of reminds me of that "I Love Lucy" episode where Lucy and Ethel insisted on "equal rights" from their husbands. Yet, "equal rights" wasn't so much fun anymore when they had to open their own doors, put on their own coats, etc.

I really do not think that most women these days "expect" a man to offer her a seat (or open a car door for her, pull her chair out, etc....), or really notice or get upset when they don't do these things. But when a man DOES do these things, I think that most women think it was a polite thing to do, and view that man as being a "gentleman". And even though the origins of men offering their seats to women were tied to the idea that women were "weak", the meaning behind a man offering his seat to a woman has totally changed. It is done now as a sign of respect, and is just considered a polite thing to do.

And as far as there being a "double standard" on women wanting equality....I don't understand why some posters keep lumping everything into the same category. A woman's right to vote, work outside the home, make the same salary as a man, etc....is one thing. But wanting (or at least enjoying) a man treating her with good manners is different. If you want to label that as a double standard, then so be it...but I disagree.

Face it....women and men are just different. Of course there are exceptions. But for the most part, men and women were created differently in more ways than just physical appearance. We have different wants/needs when it comes to our relationships, whether that relationship is with spouse/partner/friend, or a total stranger. There are many women who enjoy men doing things like opening their doors, pulling out a chair for them at a table, etc...and I think it is a combination of how we are raised, and the simple fact that we are women. There are also men who actually enjoy doing these types of things for women...for the same reasons. Sure, some of it is based on the beliefs of our society that we have grown up with...but I believe alot of it has to do with how we are "wired".

So I really do not think it is fair to say that if a woman wants ONE type of equal rights as men (such as making the same salary for doing the exact same job), then they should want to be treated like men altogether in every single area of their lives. I can't speak for all women, but I sure don't want a man to treat me like he treats his male friends!

 

[happymom52003]

Just an observation...from reading both threads on this topic, some of the posters (not all of them...I know some of them are married with kids) who are against doing "old fashioned" polite things for women appear to be males who are single. Hmm....maybe there is a reason they are single??

Flame away if you'd like.:fork:

But I am probably on to something.

 

[sbkline]

Just an observation...from reading both threads on this topic, some of the posters (not all of them...I know some of them are married with kids) who are against doing "old fashioned" polite things for women appear to be males who are single. Hmm....maybe there is a reason they are single??

Flame away if you'd like.:fork:

But I am probably on to something.

I'm married with kids, but I don't know that I'd say I'm "against" doing it. I just don't think it's necessary just for an able bodied woman with no kids in tow. But if someone else wants to do it, more power to him. Now, for an elderly person, or someone with crutches, or a woman with a baby or small child, who needs to be able to sit to hold her kid, sure it's a good idea to do it. However, I must admit, I'm often one of those clueless, dense men who doesn't even think to do this, and on our last trip, it was my wife who would take notice of the young mothers with kids (probably because she is a mother of a baby and knows what it is like) and either give up her own seat or have me give up mine. I admit it would do me well to take more notice, but sometimes it's easy to sit down on that bus and just get into your own little world and not notice those around you.

 

[happymom52003]

I'm married with kids, but I don't know that I'd say I'm "against" doing it. I just don't think it's necessary just for an able bodied woman with no kids in tow. But if someone else wants to do it, more power to him. Now, for an elderly person, or someone with crutches, or a woman with a baby or small child, who needs to be able to sit to hold her kid, sure it's a good idea to do it. However, I must admit, I'm often one of those clueless, dense men who doesn't even think to do this, and on our last trip, it was my wife who would take notice of the young mothers with kids (probably because she is a mother of a baby and knows what it is like) and either give up her own seat or have me give up mine. I admit it would do me well to take more notice, but sometimes it's easy to sit down on that bus and just get into your own little world and not notice those around you.

I totally agree with you on that, and honestly I think most women these days would also agree with you. Even though I consider myself old fashioned in many ways and like it when men do polite things for me, never once have I expected or thought a man should offer me his seat while I am standing on bus. However, if I were holding my baby or toddler, then I would take notice if no one was offering me their seat...in fact, I would even be a bit miffed if an able bodied woman with no kids did not offer her seat to any parent holding a baby or toddler on a bus....I don't think it should just be men who should offer their seats to parents (including dads...not just moms) who are holding a small child while standing on a bus.

But when a man DOES offer me a seat, I am flattered and think they are a gentleman...even though I would turn them down (unless I was holding my child).

 

[PurpleDragon]

I totally agree with you on that, and honestly I think most women these days would also agree with you. Even though I consider myself old fashioned in many ways and like it when men do polite things for me, never once have I expected or thought a man should offer me his seat while I am standing on bus. However, if I were holding my baby or toddler, then I would take notice if no one was offering me their seat...in fact, I would even be a bit miffed if an able bodied woman with no kids did not offer her seat to any parent holding a baby or toddler on a bus....I don't think it should just be men who should offer their seats to parents (including dads...not just moms) who are holding a small child while standing on a bus.

But when a man DOES offer me a seat, I am flattered and think they are a gentleman...even though I would turn them down (unless I was holding my child).

Yeah I will admit that I'm more prone to offer my seat to a mother or father with a kid than a single person. Being a father myself, I know the stress/pain of having to stand up holding an exhausted child.

 

[Eyorefan]

I totally agree with you on that, and honestly I think most women these days would also agree with you. Even though I consider myself old fashioned in many ways and like it when men do polite things for me, never once have I expected or thought a man should offer me his seat while I am standing on bus. However, if I were holding my baby or toddler, then I would take notice if no one was offering me their seat...in fact, I would even be a bit miffed if an able bodied woman with no kids did not offer her seat to any parent holding a baby or toddler on a bus....I don't think it should just be men who should offer their seats to parents (including dads...not just moms) who are holding a small child while standing on a bus.

But when a man DOES offer me a seat, I am flattered and think they are a gentleman...even though I would turn them down (unless I was holding my child).

This is where I woudl disagree with you. If people want to give up their seat to others they feel need it more/out of politness, then more power to them. They are great, wonderful and polite people. We should throw a parade in their honor. But no one shoud EXPECT anyone to give up a seat for them, no matter what their situation is.

 

[devoy1701]

I totally agree with you on that, and honestly I think most women these days would also agree with you. Even though I consider myself old fashioned in many ways and like it when men do polite things for me, never once have I expected or thought a man should offer me his seat while I am standing on bus. However, if I were holding my baby or toddler, then I would take notice if no one was offering me their seat...in fact, I would even be a bit miffed if an able bodied woman with no kids did not offer her seat to any parent holding a baby or toddler on a bus....I don't think it should just be men who should offer their seats to parents (including dads...not just moms) who are holding a small child while standing on a bus.

But when a man DOES offer me a seat, I am flattered and think they are a gentleman...even though I would turn them down (unless I was holding my child).

This is where I woudl disagree with you. If people want to give up their seat to others they feel need it more/out of politness, then more power to them. They are great, wonderful and polite people. We should throw a parade in their honor. But no one shoud EXPECT anyone to give up a seat for them, no matter what their situation is.

not to mention that you really can't always tell who is "able bodied" and who isn't just by looking at them.

I definitely agree that just because you have a kids and some who "looks able" doesnt, you have no place getting "miffed" at them for not offering their seat to you.

 

[happymom52003]

not to mention that you really can't always tell who is "able bodied" and who isn't just by looking at them.

I definitely agree that just because you have a kids and some who "looks able" doesnt, you have no place getting "miffed" at them for not offering their seat to you.

I am not talking about picking out one specific person and getting mad that they are not offering a seat to someone holding a small child. I agree that you can't tell by looking if someone is able to stand on the bus. However, chances are very high (almost certain) that if I am standing with a child on a bus, there ARE indeed people in my vicinity who physically be would be able to give up their seat, but choose not to just because they don't want to. My point is that just knowing that there are people who COULD give up their seats in order to make it safer for a child (not just my child...ANY child), but intentionally choose not to makes me mad. Not mad because I am not getting a seat...mad because I think it is ashame that there are people who feel that way. Just my personal opinion. Maybe someday when (if) you have kids, you might feel the same way.

And I have one word for them....karma.

I was brought up to to follow the Golden Rule. Do unto others as you would have them do to you. If I saw a big, strong man holding a baby while standing on a bus, I would offer my seat to him. For safety reasons regarding the child. Yes, I actually care about the safety and comfort of people besides myself and my own kids. What a concept!

Obviously, not everyone feels the same.